


Sex, Drugs, & Space Chaos

by almostjack



Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Anal Sex, Angst, Biting, Blood and Gore, Blow Jobs, Bottom!Axton, Bottom!Rhys, Breathplay, Canon-Typical Violence, Collars, Drinking, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Dubious Consent, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Gunplay, Hate Sex, Jack and friends are going to tear shiz up, Jack being the most Jack he can be, M/M, Masochism, Masturbation, Mild S&M, Minor Character Death, Multi, Office Sex, Personal Assistant Rhys (Borderlands), Recreational Drug Use, Romance, Sadism, Shameless Smut, Smut, Threesome - F/M/M, Voyeurism, don't expect this to get too cuddly, i lied there might be some feels, rhack - Freeform, top!Jack
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:55:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 60,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27921886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/almostjack/pseuds/almostjack
Summary: What's more terrifying than a psychotic, power hungry, and really, really attractive sociopath? When the person who's suppose to be his voice of reason isn't much better. Handsome Jack is waging war on Pandora and he's bringing his shady new friend (and drug dealer), Hyperion scientist Rei, along for the ride, whether she likes it or not. Jack is certainly enjoying himself in all kinds of fun ways, though.-or-The golden age of Handsome Jack's reign, during which he runs around the galaxy acting like a deranged, horny, bloodthirsty heathen.  Just how we like him.
Relationships: Axton/Handsome Jack (Borderlands), Handsome Jack (Borderlands)/Original Character(s), Handsome Jack/Rhys (Borderlands)
Comments: 38
Kudos: 27





	1. In the Flesh

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, welcome to my first fic. It's gonna be a long, smutty, wild ride, but what else would you expect from Handsome Jack? 
> 
> Not sure about this fic and don't need any context? Check out chapter 15. It's filthy. (I'll be marking all the smutty chapters with an asterisk.)
> 
> Looking for dirty, dirty Rhack? Try chapter 18.
> 
> Find me on Tumblr as almost-jack https://almost-jack.tumblr.com/
> 
> Comments and constructive criticism are encouraged and appreciated!

Rei tried to make her entrance as inconspicuous as possible, as she was now a good 15 minutes late to an urgent meeting. She had damn near sprinted from the elevator to the conference room, and now stood outside the door, trying to catch her breath and attempting to compose herself. She brushed her long, golden brown hair out of her face and adjusted the collar of her crisp, white lab coat, then held out her keycard to the scanner.

The conference room door slid open, and she took a few steps inside, then stopped. She could feel the tension in the air, so heavy that it was almost stifling. Her colleagues sat in complete silence, all staring in horror at the head of the table where the CEO of Hyperion stood, tall and broad and intimidating, casually cleaning his gun. Rei froze like a deer in the headlights, eyes wide, completely unnerved. She had never seen Handsome Jack in the flesh before, let alone expected him to be in, what she had assumed, was a routine Research and Development department meeting.

It was then that Rei noticed a pool of blood seeping out from behind the table near Handsome Jack’s feet, and the spray of blood flecking his angular face and meticulously coiffed brown hair. She tilted her head to peer around the table and discovered a man in an expensive looking black suit adorned with multiple Hyperion badges, lying face up with a barrage of bullet holes in his chest. He was clearly a high ranking executive of some sort, and clearly dead. Very dead. Rei stood motionless and stared a moment, trying to comprehend the scene before her. She knew that man, he was the head of Hyperion cyber security. Shitty at his job and shitty in general.

“Huh…I guess Evans finally got what was coming to him,” she said, recovering her cool. This wasn’t her first dead body. Rei had regularly seen worse while growing up on Pandora.

Handsome Jack laughed darkly. Rei hoped she had amused him; she really didn’t want to be Jack’s next victim today.

“You’re awfully late to the party, cupcake. But I like your attitude, so I’ll let it slide just this once,” he drawled lazily, sliding his gun back into his thigh holster. He looked over at Rei with mismatched green and blue eyes, a wolfish smile spreading across his face as he appraised the small woman before him.

“What do you do here, pumpkin? And lose the nerd glasses, let’s see that pretty face of yours,” said Jack, burying an insult within a compliment, as only Jack could do.

Rei glared at her combat boots, but obliged; she rarely wore glasses outside of the lab, anyway.

“Lead Eridium and experimental chemical applications researcher,” she answered quickly and mechanically.

“Do you have a name, sweetheart?”

“Rei Barrett, sir,” she said uneasily.

Jack’s face lit up as if she had just handed him a present.

“Ah… My new favorite lab nerd. I’ve got big plans for you, kiddo. Stay put.” He turned back to the group of employees, still frozen in terror. “As for all of you. Like we discussed, encrypted messages being sent to outside recipients on the R&D private Echonet are a BIG DEAL. If I find anymore, I’ll be visiting each of you personally, so show some _goddamn competence_ , ok?”

There was a beat of silence as the entire room held its breath.

“Good. Now scram.”

The crowd dispersed immediately, rushing for the door. Jack turned back to Rei, smiling down at her in a very disconcerting way.

“I know it was you, kitten,” he said in a low, dangerous voice.

“Huh? What was me?” she asked nervously.

“The messages. Someone in the R&D department with a high level security clearance, a vast knowledge of Eridium, and access to highly controlled substances, has been selling said substances to dealers all over Helios and Pandora, and using my private Echonet to do their dirty work. You really didn’t think anyone would be able to decrypt those messages?” he said silkily.

Rei’s stomach dropped and she wanted to bolt, but she mustered up all her courage to hold Jack’s piercing gaze instead.

“With all due respect, sir, how are you so certain it was me?”

“Come on now, cupcake. All the pieces of the puzzle point to you, particularly the fact that the messages were signed “RB”. I even found one that was signed “Rei”. Tsk, tsk, tsk. So careless.”

“Ok, let’s say you’re right, hypothetically of course. Why kill Evans? Why not me?” Rei asked, her heart nearly beating out of her chest.

“Evans was an incompetent asshole. He couldn’t even stop an employee from using Hyperion’s private network to send unauthorized messages, how the hell was he going to handle a real threat? But you...well I wanted to meet the infamous drug pushing little shit who was skimming off _my_ Eridium supply and cooking up street drugs in _my_ lab. I can’t believe you managed to fly under the radar for so long. Impressive, really. I definitely thought about killing you…” Jack trailed off, pausing thoughtfully.

“But, uh…then you decided not to?” Rei asked hopefully.

“Well it seems like you’re going to be very useful to me very soon, and it would be a damn shame to have to put a bullet in that pretty little head of yours, so…. I’m going to offer you a deal.”

“Thank you, sir,” she said, breathing a sigh of relief.

“Don’t thank me yet, cupcake, you don’t know what I’m offering.”

“Ok...I’m listening…”

Jack folded his arms over his broad chest and struck an intimidating pose, grinning widely.

“Join my team of vault hunters. Be my personal mad scientist.”

“I’d be helping you open vaults?”

“That’s part of it, yeah. We can go over details tomorrow once I have a contract ready for you to sign. My office, 5pm. Think about it, cupcake.”

Jack reached out and picked up a strand of her waist length chestnut hair, letting it slide between his fingers. Rei almost flinched, but maintained her composure, her pale eyes scanning his face for any hint as to what he might be thinking.

Handsome Jack was certainly fearsome, but also as handsome as his name claimed, and his cologne was intoxicating. He smelled of pine and smoke, and something else Rei couldn’t quite identify. Gun powder, perhaps. Maybe blood.

Jack turned to leave, then paused a moment.

“Oh, and kitten?” he said over his shoulder.

“Yes?”

“Don’t’ be late.”


	2. A Push, a Pull, and a Twist

Rei arrived at Jack’s office promptly at 5. The room was enormous, with Jack’s desk at the far end on a raised platform in front of three massive windows, overlooking a vast expanse of black space speckled with shimmering stars. Rei couldn’t help but smile to herself upon seeing the room; of course Jack would rule Hyperion _from a stage_. 

Jack was lounging, feet up on his desk and a cigarette dangling between his fingers. A pair of unfamiliar people, clearly not Hyperion employees, were seated in front of him, drinks in hand. Jack was talking animatedly to a tall, lanky young man hovering at his side, with slicked back hair and a cybernetic arm. This looked like less of a company meeting and more of a small soiree, but Rei wasn’t complaining. Jack called out to her as she approached.

“Ah, good! Tiny cartel boss, meet the vault hunters. Vault hunters, tiny cartel boss,” he said cheerfully. 

Rei decided to ignore the jab about her height and flashed him a crooked smile, relieved that he seemed to be in a very good mood.

“Is that my new title? I dig it,” she mused. Jack winked at her appreciatively.

“Have a seat. Rhys, pour our friend here a drink. What are you drinking, sweetheart?” 

“Uhh whiskey neat, I guess,” she said, lowering herself into a chair. The tall man nodded and descended the steps of the platform to rummage around in Jack’s mini bar.

“This is your ace-in-the-hole, Jack? Really? She’s gonna get killed real quick down on Pandora,” growled a huge, muscular, bearded man with excessive cybernetics seated next to her. A tall, regal looking black woman dressed in a white, fur lined coat leaned against his chair, eyeing Rei with equal skepticism.

“That’s why, Wilhelm, my dear, she’s not going down there to clean up that bandit filth. You are. You’re the brawn, she’s the brains. You clear the way and Rei will do the rest,” said Jack.

“You know, uh, I grew up on Pandora. I’ve held my own in more than a few fights,” Rei said with a hint of indignation in her voice. Her hand subconsciously drifted under her lab coat to the holster on her hip. She had decided not to take any chances and come armed with a pistol.

Jack’s eyebrows shot up.

“Hmm, is that so? There was nothing in your file about Pandora…”

“I’m sure you realize there’s a lot about me that’s not in Hyperion’s database. Besides, it’s not exactly something I advertise around Helios. People seem to have a lot of… misconceptions about Pandora. Thanks,” she said, taking the drink that Rhys handed her. “So what exactly is it that you want me to do for you?”

Jack grinned and took a drag of his cigarette before stubbing it out in a crystal ashtray.

“So-ho-ho much, cupcake,” he said with a chuckle. “Let’s start with mining the hell out of that shithole planet Pandora. We’re going to gut it and pull out all the Eridium until it collapses in on it’s stupid little self, and you’re going to oversee it. Then you’re going to take all that sweet, sweet Eridium and figure out a way to charge me a vault key. And all those little bandits your lab buddies drugged and tortured until they became psychos? I want some of those, too. But obedient. I swear I’ll shoot them right between the friggin’ eyes if any of those little monsters so much as looks at me wrong. But that comes later.”

“And what about the moral implications of, you know, torture and destroying a planet and all that…?” asked Rei, peering at him over rim of her glass.

Jack looked at her blankly for a moment, then broke into peels of laughter.

“Really? _Really?_ The ex-Pandoran drug lord is questioning my moral integrity? Or are you getting cold feet, here?” he said, cackling.

Rei wasn’t questioning Jack’s moral compass so much as trying to discern if he actually had one. She concluded that…well she still had no idea, not that it mattered much. Over the years Rei had learnt and re-learnt the same lesson; survival first, power second, morality…whenever it was convenient. It was how the Borderlands worked.

“So I’ll take that as permission to do whatever I need to do.”

“You’ve got a free pass, run wild! And kitten, I really can’t wait to what happens when I set you loose. All you have to do is sign-” he motioned towards Rhys, who pulled a piece of paper from a folder under his arm. “Here,” said Jack, pointing to a blank line at the bottom of the page.

She liked the sound of that…complete freedom to do whatever questionable project her heart desired was all she had ever wanted. She took a sip of her drink feeling more at ease with Jack, optimistic that this situation might actually turn out well for her. Rei picked up the contract and began to skim it.

“Don’t bother reading it, cupcake. You either sign, or I give you a ten second head start before I start shooting,” said Jack, reaching for his own drink.

“Jack, darling, are you quite sure she’s trustworthy? Wilhelm and I have already proved our merit. Don’t you feel compelled to test our new comrade?” asked the expensive looking woman.

“Aurelia, your concern is adorable, really, it is,” Jack said, flashing her a charming, well-practiced smile. “But you don’t need to concern yourself with anything other than getting paid.”

“I don’t know about that,” she said, frowning.

“Speak for yourself,” grunted Wilhelm.

“So,” said Jack, pushing a pen towards Rei, “what’s it gonna be, darlin’? Are we going to be buddies, or do I need to blow your brains out?”

Rei couldn’t help but roll her eyes. “Oh wow, thanks for the ultimatum. I’ll need a minute to think about that one,” she said sarcastically, picking up the pen.

“Ooh, mouthy. Very, cute, kitten,” he said, sneering down at Rei as she signed the contract. “Ok kiddos, now that you’re all acquainted, you’ve got work to do. Off you go,” said Jack, waving a hand towards the door. 

Aurelia reached out and straightened Jack’s collar before giving him a kiss on the cheek.

“Do be careful, dear. I would hate for anything else to happen to that handsome face,” she cooed. She turned and followed Wilhelm out. Rei put her glass down and turned to leave as well.

“Ah-ah-ah. Not you, Rei. We’ve got a couple more things to discuss,” Jack said, eyeing her with a wolfish, almost hungry expression.

“Yes sir,” she said, taking a seat in Wilhelm’s recently vacated chair. She noticed that Rhys remained quietly behind Jack, watching her with a hint of concern. 

“Rhysie, go get me a sandwich,” Jack said, without turning to look at him.

Rhys paused a moment, looking at Jack wonderingly, then shrugged and left. 

As soon as the metal doors slid shut behind Rhys, Jack stood and rounded the desk. He perched on the edge directly in front of Rei, legs spread wide and arms folded over his puffed out chest, obviously trying to intimidate her. 

“Aurelia’s got a point, kitten. How do I know you’re trustworthy?”

“Well I did just sign a binding contract under threat of death, so there’s that.”

“Is it really enough, though? Don’t think I didn’t notice that you showed up _armed_ , today.”

“But sir, you’re always armed. Can you really blame me?”

Jack leaned in, his face less than a foot from her own.

“So what, you were going to shoot me if I scared ya? Nah. You wouldn’t dare,” he said, reaching out to cup her chin. He tilted her head up, exposing her neck to him. Rei didn’t resist, partially out of fear…but more so because something hot and dangerous was brewing deep in her stomach.

“No, sir. I wouldn’t shoot you. I don’t think that would be in my best interest,” she said softly.

“Good,” he said with a chuckle. Jack grabbed her by the lapels of her lab coat and pulled her out of her chair, forcing her to stand between his legs. He lowered his head to her neck and brushed his lips against her jaw, making her shiver slightly. Rei could have sworn he was inhaling her scent like some sort of animal.

“I like you, Rei. I don’t want to have to get rid of you. Don’t make me do that, ok?” he murmured in her ear.

“You like what I can do for you. You barely know me,” corrected Rei, putting a hand on his chest and trying to push gently away from his grasp, but Jack didn’t yield.

“Do you always get so hands-on with your employees, or am I just lucky?” she quipped sharply, pushing against his chest in earnest. Jack let go and sat back, leaning on his hands.

“Sorry pumpkin, did I misread the situation? I thought we had a fun little thing going. I’m attractive…you’re attractive…You seem kinda into me. Your little neck would fit so perfectly in my hand,” Jack extended a large hand towards her neck, but paused, letting it fall back onto the desk. He began to drum his fingers impatiently against the dark, polished wood, clearly displeased with being forced to practice some self control. 

“But we can keep this strictly professional if you want,” he said, a hint of irritation in his voice.

“Hmm. Not sure, boss. First you don’t trust me, then you want to fuck me…I think you need to make up your mind,” Rei said, dropping her hand from Jack’s chest to his thigh. She slid her hand slowly up his leg, inching closer to the subtle bulge growing under his zipper.

“Since when are those two things mutually exclusive?” Jack purred, tucking her long, chestnut hair behind her ear to reveal a thick, silver cuff in her cartilage. He grinned and tugged gently on the loop of metal, leaning in so his face was inches from hers. 

There was a sudden thunder of gunshots outside Jack’s door, followed by screams. Jack jerked back, looking around wildly, then reached for the intercom next to his computer, slamming his fist down on the call button.

“RHYS! What the goddamn hell was that?!” he growled.

“Jack, you better get out here…we’ve got a situation,” Rhys’ panicked voice crackled over the intercom.

“Wait here, kitten,” he said, standing and attempting to adjust himself to hide his growing erection. Rei took a step back to let him pass, snickering to herself.

“I promise this is going to be far less funny to you later,” Jack said menacingly, towering over her, nearly a foot taller.

“Sure. Go get ‘em tiger.”

Jack glared at her for a moment, then turned on his heel, sprinting across the enormous room and through the great metal doors. Rei waited a moment, then quietly followed, stopping at the doorframe to peer at the commotion outside. There, in the middle of the hallway, stood a burly man in a Hyperion guard uniform, an enormous machine gun in one hand and Rhys’ neck in the other.

Rei’s stomach sank; the shooter was one of her plugs, specifically Ian Lynch, who she had instructed to watch her back since discovering Jack’s intense interest in her. But what the hell had happened? Some of her distributers were thugs, sure, but they knew better than to get violent inside Hyperion headquarters.

Jack advanced on the man slowly, gun drawn, face twisted with rage.

“Don’t do anything stupid, asshole… That’s Hyperion property you’re screwing with.” he snarled.

“Hah! You’re not as ruthless as they say, Jackie boy, otherwise you would have shot me on sight and let this twerp take a bullet to the head. You’re all talk, ain’t ya?” said the assailant.

Jack looked like he was seriously considering doing just that, gun aimed at the man’s head, but his finger was absent from the trigger.

Rei stepped out of the office, striding quickly down the hall.

“LYNCH. Drop him. Now,” she commanded, drawing her own gun from its holster.

“There you are, Barrett, you fucking weasel. I’ve been waiting for you,” he hissed.

“You know this guy? And Jesus fucking Christ kid, didn’t I say to wait in my office? You’re gonna get sh-“

“If it’s me you’re after, then what the fuck are you doing, Lynch?” asked Rei, cutting Jack off.

“I caught him eavesdropping, he was recording near your door” choked Rhys. Lynch gave him a hard shake.

“Shut up. Yeah, I was listening in on your little meeting. Sorry to interrupt just as you were about to let Handsome Jack bend you over his desk, bitch, but this little shit came along and blew my cover. Wasn’t gonna shoot anyone today, but he kinda gave me no choice. Little shit came at me with a stun baton.”

“So let him go and tell me what you fucking want already,” huffed Rei.

“I want the two of you,” he said, jerking his head toward Jack and Rei, “to stay the fuck away from Pandora. I don’t give a fuck what you do to your Hyperion lackeys- drug ‘em, torture ‘em, I don’t care- but you’re not getting anywhere near my people and you sure as hell aren’t taking over my planet. So I guess what I’m really saying is that I want you both dead.”

“A small time drug pusher with a hero complex. Cute,” said Rei smarmily. Jack stared at her, eyes wide with surprise.

“He’s one of yours?” 

“Not my best and definitely not my brightest, but yeah. He seems to be forgetting that he agreed to sell some pretty dangerous shit to people on Helios just so I would get him off Pandora. Ease up on Rhys’ neck, or you’re gonna kill your only bargaining chip, Lynch,” Rei said, noticing Rhys squirming and struggling for breath as Lynch’s grip tightened in irritation.

“Alright, enough of this,” said Jack impatiently. He flipped on his cloaking device and vanished.

“STAY BACK! I’M FUCKING WARNING YOU, JACK!” Lynch shouted, looking around wildly.

Rei took advantage of the distraction and hurled herself at Lynch, knocking both him and Rhys to the floor, just barely keeping her own footing by landing in a cat-like crouch. There was a sickening crack as an invisible force came smashing down on Lynch’s wrist, forcing him to release the gun. He howled in pain as Jack reappeared above him, kicking his gun across the hall. Jack aimed his own weapon at Lynch’s groin, a manic gleam in his eye.

“That’s better. Now let Rhysie go or I’ll shoot your fucking dick off.”

Lynch stared venomously at Jack for a moment, then loosened his grip on Rhys, allowing him to pull away and scramble to his feet. 

“Good. Hand over that recording and I won’t torture you to death. I don’t really care if your little bandit friends know we’re coming for them, but I’m not ready to make that announcement just yet. I wanted it to be special,” Jack said with a mock pout.

“Why the fuck would I do that? Let’s be honest, Jack, you’re just going to kill me anyway,” spat Lynch, attempting to sit up on his elbows.

“You’re wrong,” said Rei, planting a boot on either side of his hips and crouching down so their faces were level. She placed the muzzle of her pistol gently between his eyes and leaned closer to whisper in his ear.

“ _I_ am going to kill you.” Rei pulled the trigger. The crack of gunfire resonated through the empty hall and a spray of crimson droplets spattered Rei’s face and lab coat. Lynch slumped back in a pool of his own blood and brain matter.

Jack stood motionless, mouth slightly agape, staring at Rei.

“That was…oh my god…so fuckin’ hot, I mean, I can’t even-“

“He’s wearing a wire. It’s still transmitting to somewhere…somewhere nearby,” interrupted Rhys.

He had pressed himself as flat as possible against a nearby wall, as if trying to make his lanky form disappear into the metal. He took a shaky step forward, gingerly rubbing a blossoming bruise around his neck. 

“I picked it up with my Echo eye. Couldn’t figure out why that guy was lurking around Jack’s door, so I gave him a scan. Where are you going?” Rhys said, noticing Rei slowly backing away. 

His Echo eye sparked to life and raked over her, his mouth falling open in surprise. The receiver for the wire was nestled in Rei’s pocket.

“Oh. Oh shit. You? Why?”

“WHAT DID YOU DO?” snarled Jack, stomping over to her so he could make the vast difference in their sizes all the more evident as he loomed over her. She looked up at him wearily, realizing the jig was up.

“I…gave it to him. I told him to tail you and try to get something… to blackmail you with… in case I didn’t like the terms of your deal,” she mumbled sheepishly.

“So why was he here now? Couldn’t you just record me yourself?” asked Jack in a low, dangerous hiss, his eyes narrowed to slits.

“I asked him to watch my back. Like I said before, it really wouldn’t be in my best interest to shoot you. But…Lynch could have easily done it and left Helios for a while, if need be.”

“You really are a fuckin’ weasel, you know that? Give me one good reason not to shoot you right now.”

“Jack, she just helped you save my life…” muttered Rhys.

“She’s also the one who almost got you killed.”

“Look, I’m not sorry for protecting myself, but I honestly didn’t mean for Lynch to do a damn thing at all unless- SHIT, OW!”

Rei cried out as he roughly grabbed both of her wrists with one large hand, hoisting her arms above her head, forcing her to drop her gun. He pulled her up until the steel toes of her boots barely brushed the floor and gently placed the barrel of his gun under her chin, tipping her head up to look at him, all the while crushing her wrists in his powerful grip.

“JACK! Knock it off! Come on, you need her, remember?” Rhys protested, loudly and firmly this time.

“Yeah, _you need me_ ,” Rei hissed. 

Jack glared at her furiously as he gave her wrists a twist that made her whimper, then lowered her slowly.

“Congrats, sweetheart, that’s strike three. First you use my company to run your little drug ring, then you try to blackmail me, then you try to kill me? Looks like you just earned yourself an early ticket to Pandora. Normally I’d toss you in a holding cell and let you rot there until I need ya, but I don’t trust that you’ll be a good girl if I let you out of my sight. So you’re taking Rhysie’s place and coming with me to help take care of some business. So glad you’re not shy about murder. Hopefully you don’t have to kill anyone you know, but… I wouldn’t count on it,” he purred, his voice dripping with honey and poison as he gave her wrists another twist.

Rei shoved a knee into his groin, not hard enough to hurt him, but with enough force to serve as a warning. Much to her surprise, she felt him half hard inside his jeans. He was clearly enjoying menacing her. Rei pressed a little harder and his cock gave an interested twitch under her knee, sparking a twisted pang of lust in her stomach.

“You want a mountain of dead bandits? You got it boss. Nice rage boner, by the way,” she snickered. Jack released her and stepped back, adjusting himself once again to hide the bulge in his pants. 

“Don’t push me, cupcake, I think it’s evident how much I want to break you right now. You’re on the next shuttle with me to Pandora, pack your shit and be at the departure terminal in two hours. Rhys, you keep an eye on her, I’ve got shit to do. Oh, and _give me that_ ,” he snarled, thrusting a large hand roughly into the pocket of her lab coat and rifling through it. He pulled out the receiver and a small joint, inspecting them both, then dropped the receiver and smashed it under the heel of his shoe.

“What’s this?” he said, waving the joint in Rei’s face.

“Just plain old weed. Take it, on the house. I can’t think of anyone who needs to chill the fuck out more than _you_ , right now,” she said brazenly.

“So help me god, I am going to…” Jack mimed strangling the air in front of him.

“My point exactly.”

He made an aggravated noise in the back of his throat and stomped back down the hall, leaving Rei eyeing Rhys suspiciously while he uncomfortably shifted his weight from foot to foot.

“Sorry about him. It’s really hard to calm him down when he gets like that,” Rhys said with a weary sigh. 

“Nah, I would be pissed, too, if I were him. I would have kept monitoring him if I hadn’t been caught, and maybe not entirely for safety’s sake. If I have to destroy my home planet, I want to make sure I’m getting my fair share of the reward,” she said shrewdly.

“Well he shouldn’t have put his hands on you, at least. He can really do some damage if he’s not careful.” 

“Yeah, I noticed,” said Rei, examining the angry red fingerprints around her wrists. “You seem to know him pretty well. What exactly are you to Jack? Personal assistant? Babysitter?”

Rhys laughed weakly. “Technically I was a middle management coder, but Jack took a special interest in me because…well, not to brag, but I’m a pretty great hacker,” he said with a hint of smugness. “So now I’m kind of…his protégé, I guess? But lately he’s been using me as an assistant because he freaking killed so many that no one wants the job anymore. He’s such a big, murderous baby sometimes.”

“Volatile psychopath is more like it.”

“Hah, yeah. You know…and don’t quote me on this because he’s pretty hard to read… but I think Jack was really disappointed about the whole blackmail thing. He seemed to really like you, kept talking about plans for his promising new “lab nerd”, and uh… something about bending you over his desk and uh…Well he was pretty excited that you weren’t a dude. And that you’re one of us,” Rhys said with a wink.

“What do you mean?”

“You know, attractive. In the 8 and up club. Grade A, Hyperion made.”

“God, you really are his protégé,” Rei said, picking up her gun and returning it to her holster.

“Hey, those are his words, not mine. You got a little something right here,” Rhys said, pointing to his cheek. Rei dragged her already bloodstained sleeve across her face, adding more crimson to it.

“Better?”

“You kinda just smeared it around…here.” Rhys wiped her cheek with the back of his hand, pausing just a moment too long before breaking contact. Rei raised an eyebrow and he blushed slightly.

“So, uh, we better get going,” he said, avoiding her gaze.

“Yep. Clearly I need a shower. Come on, Jack junior, let’s roll,” she said, taking off down the hall, Rhys hurrying after her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How do y'all feel about Rei so far? I'm always worried that her character might spiral into Mary-Sue territory, as is the problem with OCs. Let me hear your thoughts!


	3. Preparations, Deviations

“You want a drink or something? Help yourself. Just don’t drink anything purple, I’ve been working on some Eridium extracts that are pretty unstable,” said Rei, gesturing to her kitchen as she shrugged off her lab coat, letting it fall to the floor.

She and Rhys had returned to her apartment, which, much to Rhys’ surprise, was not in the employee housing complex. Rei had an apartment on a somewhat nicer side of the space station. It was nothing compared to Jack’s accommodations, of course, but definitely comfortable. 

“Pretty sweet place you got here,” he said, looking around.

“Yeah, well I do pretty ok for myself. For all the intel you and Jack have on me, you don’t seem to know a whole lot.”

“To be honest, there wasn’t a lot about you in the company database. Most of what we know is through the messages you were sending. You’ve done a pretty good job keeping your head down,” he said, pouring whiskey into a tumbler. Rhys returned to the living room and flopped down on the couch, sipping his drink.

“I’m good at my job. Actually, both my jobs. What can I say?” She flashed him a crooked smile.

“Clearly.”

“Alright. I’m going to shower,” she said, turning towards the bathroom.

“Uh… Jack, uh… Jack says leave the door open,” Rhys said sheepishly.

“’scuse me?”

Rhys held up his Echo device. “He said, “Don’t let her lock the door on you, get in there with her if you have to. Look but don’t touch”.” He laughed weakly.

“Have you been messaging him this whole time?”

“He’s been bugging me for updates about every 10 minutes, sorry.”

“Fine. No more privacy? Whatever,” she said, stripping off her black tank top.

“W-wait, you can’t… I mean, don’t…” he stammered, trying not to look at her as she pulled off her pants and stood in bathroom doorway in a black bra and striped black and white panties.

“This is my fuckin’ apartment; I’ll do what I want. Deal with it, Jack junior.” 

Rhys made a face. “Don’t call me that…”

Rei walked over to the couch and plucked the drink from Rhys’ hand, taking a long sip. She set the glass down on her coffee table, then placed a knee between Rhys’ thighs and a hand on his chest.

“Why? Isn’t that your goal? To be Jack?” she said softly, staring intensely into his mismatched brown and blue eyes. Rhys glared up at her, fingers dinging into the cushions on either side of him, clearly flustered.

“I get why he likes you so much, now. You think I’m like him? This is a move straight out of his playbook. Shit, he’s even done it to me before, and I’m pretty sure he’s only into women,” he said angrily. Rei drew back, surprised by the heat of his anger.

“Christ, sorry. Didn’t mean to hit a nerve. He fucks with you a lot, huh?” she said, retreating to the bathroom door.

“Kinda, yeah. But this…. This just isn’t fair. I mean, if I ever put my hands on you and he found out… I’d be a dead man.”

“What the hell? He doesn’t own me.”

Rhys sighed, looking at her with something akin to pity. “We’re talking about the richest, most powerful man in the galaxy, here. He’ll figure out some way to buy you off. Or, at least, get into your pants.”

“Who says I won’t be the one getting into _his_ pants?” said Rei scornfully, stomping into the bathroom and turning on the shower.

About an hour later, Rei had a small duffle bag packed and was dressed in a black leather motorcycle jacket, a yellow Hyperion hoodie, tight black jeans with a couple of holes in the knees, and her black steel toed boots. She had a more substantial gun in her hip holster now, along with a concealed hunting knife and her pistol in a thigh holster. She and Rhys departed after taking one last shot of whiskey- for luck, she said- and arrived at the departure bay with minutes to spare. Jack was already there, leaning against the outside of their shuttle, clearly waiting for them.

“Rhysie, how’d we do? Any trouble?”

“No, Jack, everything’s fine.”

“Good. You can go, but I expect constant updates while you hold down the fort. You already know that though, don’t ya, pumpkin?”

“Of course, Jack. Good luck,” he said, making eye contact with Rei.

“Handsome Jack doesn’t need luck, kiddo,” said Jack, oblivious that the sentiment wasn’t directed at him.

“See ya ‘round, Rhys,” Rei said, gently.

“Bye.” Rhys gave her a small smile before walking away.

“After you, cupcake,” said Jack, gesturing at the open door of the shuttle. Rei walked through, dropped her bag, and plopped into a seat. 

Jack sat in the chair next to her, eyeing her quietly. The shuttle door slid closed and they began to gently descend from the space station into a black abys of stars. Jack reached into his pocket and pulled out the joint he had taken from Rei earlier.

“Got a light?” he asked.

“Mhmm.” Rei pulled a small lighter from her jacket pocket and tossed It to him. 

Jack lit the joint and inhaled deeply a couple times before passing it to her. She took a drag, staring out the window, blatantly ignoring him.

“Look…kitten…. About earlier… Rhysie doesn’t think you’re a threat, and he’s an honest kid, so, uh, yeah… I’m not saying you’re not on my shit list, but, uh… I shouldn’t have lost my cool like that, especially when you’re you sized and I’m me sized. That looks kind of painful,” he said, eyeing the now purple, finger-shaped bruises peeking out from beneath the cuffs of her jacket.

“It’s fine. I’m over it,” she said icily.

“You don’t sound over it, pumpkin.”

Rei stood suddenly and planted herself in front of Jack, leaning over him and placing a hand on the back of the chair next to his head. She plucked the joint from her mouth and slipped it between Jack’s lips while he stared up at her curiously.

“Then why don’t you just drop it, _Jack_ ,” she hissed into his ear. It was the first time she had addressed him by his first name, and it sent a tiny shiver of excitement down his spine. She slid her other hand up the back of his neck and curled her fingers into the hair at the nape. Jack chuckled and took a drag of the joint, letting it rest lazily between his fingers.

“Rhys also mentioned you might pull this crap. Sorry sweetheart, this might get a rise out of Rhysie, but it doesn’t work on me. I _invented_ this game.” 

She let go and stepped back, irritated. 

“But that doesn’t mean I’m not enjoying it, kitten,” he breathed, putting a hand on her hip and gently pulling her toward him. “Come on, now. Let’s kiss and make up, and then do a whole bunch of dirty shit to each other, ok? I can’t think of a better way to pass the time while we’re stuck in here.” 

Jack’s hand slid down to her ass and squeezed. Rei batted his hand away and returned to her seat.

“Look, I just want to get to Pandora and back in one piece,” she grumbled, reaching out and gently pulling the joint from Jack’s fingers.

“Suit yourself, sweetheart, but I’m gonna have to do something about this,” he said, gesturing to the bulge under his zipper, voice strained in annoyance. “This is the third time you’ve gotten me hard today and I can’t friggin’ take it anymore.” Jack stood and headed towards the back of the ship.

“Where are you going?”

“Bathroom. Feel free to join me if you change your mind.”

Rei scoffed as the door slid shut behind Jack.


	4. Jackin' It*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said, chapters marked with an asterisk contain some serious smut. Enjoy!

Jack stood gripping the edges of the sink with white knuckles, glaring at his own reflection in the mirror. He was truly pissed about how much Rei was getting to him, but he’d be damned if he was going to let it show. She was a sneaky, mouthy little shit…and he wanted to fuck her so, so, _so_ badly. The image of her crouching over Lynch with her gun pressed between his eyes, and the way she hadn’t even flinched as blood sprayed across her face kept playing over and over in his head. Jack sighed and undid his belt and pants and pulled his half hard cock free. He licked his palm and slowly began to stroke himself, trying to stifle a groan of relief. He settled for cursing under his breath; he knew Rei could probably hear, but he didn’t mind. As long as she only thought he was angry, and not desperately needy for her, he wasn’t embarrassed. 

Jack thought of Rei, pressed between his legs when he had pulled her to him in his office. The way she smelled faintly of vanilla as he ran his lips along the delicate line of her jaw...her hand slowly creeping up his thigh, black nails digging into the fabric of his jeans…. Jack bucked into his hand involuntarily, his fist clenching around his dick. He slid his thumb over the slit, smearing a bead of pre cum down his incredibly hard length and began thrusting into his hand in earnest, breathing heavily. 

“ _Shit…oh shit…_ ” he muttered, feeling his orgasm rising, his muscles tensing. He was about to cum in record time, making him slightly glad he hadn’t fucked Rei, though he still desperately wished it was her that he was pounding into instead of his own slicked up fist. Jack threw a hand out to brace himself against the wall, hitting it much harder than he intended with a resounding bang. He wanted so badly to fill her tiny pussy with all of his nine inches, make her writhe under him, hear her moan in his ear while he slammed his cock into her, and just when she couldn’t take it anymore, he’d burry himself to the hilt and… 

“ _Fuckkk!_ ” growled Jack as he came in thick spurts all over the sink, his cock pulsing hard in his hand. He leaned his forehead against the cool glass of the mirror, panting heavily, his dick continuing to twitch and dribble. He had cum so much that he was actually impressed with himself, and was tempted to leave the mess for Rei to find. Show her what she was missing. Jack decided to do just that, snickering deviously to himself as he tucked his spent cock back into his pants. He smoothed his hair back and straightened his collar, attempting to look as if he hadn’t just bust a nut so hard that he’d slightly winded himself. After catching his breath for a minute, Jack exited the bathroom and returned to the cockpit of the ship. 

Rei was lounging sideways in her chair, legs dangling over the armrest, scrolling through something on her Echo. 

“You’re fuckin’ _loud_ , you know that? You better now?” she asked without looking up as Jack flopped down in his seat. He stretched his legs out in front of him and put his hands behind his head, leaning back into the headrest.

“Absolutely fantastic, kitten,” he purred in utter contentment.

“Good. ‘cus I gotta pee,” she said, sliding out of her chair. A huge, shit-eating grin spread across Jack’s face as she walked away. Any second now…

“GOD DAMN IT, JACK!! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?” Rei stormed out of the bathroom. “Fucking clean that up!”

Jack bent double, absolutely howling with laughter.


	5. Putting Out Fires...and Occasionally Starting Them

“Hey, Moxx. Long time, no see,” said Jack, leaning casually against the dingy bar.

“For good reason, sugar,” the voluptuous bartender replied icily.

“Aw, don’t be like that, cupcake, I always showed you a good time, didn’t I?” he said with a mock pout.

Moxxi sighed impatiently. “What do you want, Jack?” 

“Well, a drink would be nice. Whiskey, neat. And one for my friend here, too.”

Moxxi’s eyes drifted to Rei, who was standing a few paces behind Jack. Rei gave her a half smile and a shrug. Moxxi frowned for moment, then turned to pull a bottle off the shelf behind her.

“You better not be planning on starting any trouble in my bar, Jack. Every time you come around, someone gets maimed or something burns to the ground,” she said, pouring their drinks and sliding them across the bar. Jack picked his up and took a sip, smirking slightly.

“Nope, I’m here on business tonight, babe. Speak of the devil, there’s the man I came to see!” he said, spreading his arms wide as a scruffy blonde man with a goatee and a nose ring approached them.

“Jack,” he said shortly. Jack clapped a hand on his shoulder, grinning broadly.

“August, good to see ya kiddo. Let’s have a chat, shall we? Get this guy a whiskey, Moxx.” 

Moxxi was already sliding the drink across the counter to August before Jack finished his sentence. 

“Damn it, Jack, can’t you go anywhere without the flavor of the week on your arm?” growled August, eyeing Rei warily. 

“Who, Rei? This smoke show over here? Relax, kiddo, it’s not like that. She works for me.”

“Oh, really…” muttered August, his eyes raking up and down Rei’s body with apparent interest.

“Don’t even think about it, kid,” Jack said gruffly, stepping in front of Rei .“How about we keep this meeting just the two of us? Wait here, kitten, I’ll be back in a few,” he said before turning and striding to a table at the very back of the poorly lit bar. August cocked his head and flashed a vicious smirk at Rei before following.

Rei sat down on a bar stool, sipping her drink. She noticed Moxxi watching her out of the corner of her eye.

“So, uh… You and Jack know each other?” 

Moxxi let out a cold, harsh laugh. “Know each other? Sugar, we used to date. So take it from me, you’re digging your own grave. I’d get as far away from that man as possible, if I were you.”

Rei sighed. “Everyone has the wrong idea. We’re not together, I barely know him. Like he said, I just work for him.”

“Keep telling yourself that, hun. He’s clearly after more than something corporate with you. Watch out for yourself, there’s a lot more to Jack than meets the eye, and I don’t just mean downstairs.”

Rei frowned and stared into her drink. She knew Jack was dangerous, unstable even, but receiving a warning about him from a complete stranger was a bit unnerving. Well, almost a complete stranger; Rei had snuck into Moxxi’s Underdome plenty of times to watch the tournaments in her younger years. She had to admit to herself that finally meeting the woman in person had her a bit star struck, although she did her best not show it. She downed the rest of her drink, trying to calm her nerves. 

“So you think I’m in danger?” Rei asked, shifting uncomfortably on her stool as Moxxi refilled her glass.

“Look, I don’t know why he’s got you tagging along with him, but the only other corporate shill-no offence- he’s ever brought down here is that leggy assistant of his. So I can’t help but wonder what Jack’s plotting.”

“Yeah, me too… Wait, you think I’m a corporate shill?” Rei couldn’t help but laugh. “I was born on Pandora. Lived here more than half my life. I don’t know if you remember this, but, uh… One time I started a car fire outside the Underdome as a distraction while I snuck in, but the garage caught fire, and then all the vehicles inside caught fire, and then that one guy on a bike just kind of exploded and… well that was kind of on him, he was the one with dynamite strapped to his chest. So, uh, sorry…”

“Oh...oh! That was you? I always thought that was Jack being petty after a fight. Part of the reason we broke up, really.”

“Wow, I’m sorry. Honestly. Didn’t mean for it to happen,” Rei said sheepishly.

“Don’t sweat it, doll, you might have saved my life in the long run. Wish I could do the same for you,” said Moxxi, looking at Rei with a hint of sadness.

“Now that… was an _interesting_ story,” said a scathing voice over Rei’s shoulder. Her stomach dropped, and she turned slowly to face a now scowling Jack, standing a few feet behind her, arms crossed and stance wide.

“Sorry, Jack, really, I-“

“You just love causing me trouble, don’t you, pumpkin? What else have you done to screw me over the years? Ya know, when that fire happened, I was like, “I would never do that to you, Moxx! I would never burn something you love!”. But when we broke up, well… I just had to go and finish the job. Thanks for idea, cupcake," he said with a sneer curling his lips. 

Rei looked from Jack, now glaring at Moxxi, to Moxxi, glaring right back at Jack. She decided it might be best to put some distance between herself and whatever was about to happen, so she quickly threw back the rest of her drink, slid off her stool, and headed for the door. She had forgotten how strong Pandoran booze was, and her head was already swimming,

“I’m going to go…uh…” she began, uncertain of what lie Jack would accept.

“Hold on, kitten, we’re leaving in a minute.”

“I think you should go _now_ , Jack. You shouldn’t have come here to begin with,” said Moxxi in a low, dangerous tone.

“Aw, but we were just starting to have fun! Don’t you want to reminisce about the good times, Moxx?”

“Jack... you need to leave before you really piss me off. I know about fifty people in this town who would love to blow your brains out, myself included.”

Jack slammed his open palms down on the bar and leaned in, eyes narrowed. “I’d like to see you or one of your filthy bandit buddies try it, cupcake,” he hissed.

Rei panicked, not wanting to be the cause of another blow out between Jack and Moxxi. She wasn’t sure if It was the sudden rush of alcohol making her reckless, or her impulsive nature getting the best of her, but she decided to act. Rei slipped under Jack’s arm, inserting herself between him and the bar, and placed her palms on his chest, pushing him back. 

“Jackkk, let’s just go.” She dug her fingers into the fabric of his vest, leaning in to whisper breathily in his ear. “Please, Jack. Please.” She brushed her lips against his neck.

He froze for moment, clearly torn between two different urges, then stepped back. “Fine.” He slammed a fistful of money down on the bar. “And look, I’ll even tip ya ‘cus I’m such a nice fuckin’ guy.” Jack roughly shoved a wad of crinkled up bills in Moxxi’s tip jar, smirking maliciously at her. She turned her back on him and made a show of ignoring him while putting glasses away. “Aren’t you going to say thank you, sweethea- Hey!”

Rei was pulling him by the arm towards the door. “Now, _handsome_ ,” she said, using the one word she knew he couldn’t resist. Rei wished she could have stopped to relish the look of surprise on his face, but getting him out of the bar as quickly as possibly was more important.

Rei didn’t stop pulling his arm until they were a safe distance away. She leaned against the crumbling brick wall of a nearby alleyway and pulled a cigarette from the pack in her pocket, lighting it and inhaling deeply. She tilted her head back and exhaled a stream of swirling smoke skyward. Jack leaned against the wall next to her, watching.

“You want a drag?” asked Rei, holding the cigarette out to him.

“Sure.” Jack took it from her and put it to his lips, taking a drag.

“So, are you going to tell me what that meeting was about, or is it classified?” she said, taking the cigarette back.

“Well yeah, some of it is, cupcake. All you need to know is this kid thinks he can get his hands on a vault key.” 

Rei’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. 

“Oh, _really_?” she said, her voice dripping with skepticism.

“Yeah, really, kitten. Looks like I just made your job a whole lot easier. Do me a favor and try not to make mine any harder. No more trying to fuck me over.”

“Jack… How many times do I need to apologize for what happened with Lynch? I was only protecting myself. I barely know you, and the rumors about you around Helios aren’t kind.”

“I was referring to the time you set the Underdome on fire, causing Moxxi to dump me. I’m sure you’ve done other shit, but I guess we’ll just have to wait for it to come out,” he said bitterly.

“Oh, come on! That was a complete accident and you know it. I’m sorry, ok?” she griped.

“You lit a car on fire…next to an open garage….full of other cars, gasoline, and explosives. What the hell did you think would happen?”

“I don’t know…I thought they’d put it out instead of just watching it burn and laughing,” she said sheepishly.

“My god, are you sure you grew up on Pandora? Have you ever met a bandit?”

“Plenty of times. You know how many times I’ve been jumped? I lost count. Do you know how many people I’ve seen killed in horrifying ways? Too many. And I’ve had to kill a few myself,” Rei snarled at him.

“Sorry to hear that, pumpkin. Sounds like we both had a rough childhood.” he said quietly, staring off into the distant blackness of the night.

“They never mentioned that in your biopic,” she said testily.

“Oh you’ve seen that, have you?” Jack said, looking at her in surprise.

“You do know that we’re forced to watch it as part of the employee orientation, right? I assumed that was an order from you.”

“Might have been, but I was probably joking and some little twerp took me seriously. They never-hah! Oh man. They just never freaking learn,” he said with a laugh. “You know, poor Timmy hated shooting that thing. It was hilarious. Let’s get out of here, probably should get some sleep.” 

Jack strode past Rei into the dark street. She ground the butt of her cigarette under her boot, then hurried to catch up.

“Wait, who’s Timmy?” she called after him.

“You’ll find out eventually, cupcake,” Jack said, laughing softly.


	6. Hot to the Touch, Cold to the Soul*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mega smut. Mega smutty-smutty-smutliness. Enjoy!

Rei _knew_ what Jack had done, or, rather, had not done, the moment they got to the crappy little motel and checked in for a single room.

“There’s only one bed in there, isn’t there?” she asked wearily, waiting for Jack to unlock the door.

“Yup,” said Jack, popping the ‘p’.

“No couch either.”

“You got it, kiddo.”

“You know this is harassment, right?”

“It’s not harassment if you like it, cupcake,” he said, entering the room.

“Don’t be a dick. I want my own room.”

“They’re all booked up, sorry darlin’.”

Rei was silent for a moment.

“You booked all the rooms yourself, didn’t you?”

“I thought my vault hunters might appreciate having a real bed to sleep in, for once,” he said, grinning mischievously.

“JACK!!”

She swung at him, but he deftly caught her wrist and held it in the air.

“Now, now, pumpkin, no need to get viol-“ 

Jack stopped mid sentence, his eyes trailing over the mottled purple bruises circling her wrist. Rei noticed his gaze and shot him a look as if to say, _“yeah, that’s from you”._

He let go and flopped down on the bed, looking guiltily up at the ceiling as he ran his fingers through his perfectly tousled, grey streaked, brown hair. 

“I won’t try anything, I promise. Well, not unless you ask me to…”

Rei sat down on the opposite side of the bed, pulling off her boots, then leaned back on her arms and looked at Jack over her shoulder.

“Are you sooooorrryyyy?” she asked coyly, dragging the word out.

Jack pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, eyes screwed shut.

“Yes.”

“Say it.”

“I already apologized on the shuttle earlier.”

“You never actually said the words, “I’m sorry.”” 

Jack was silent, obviously battling his inner urge to grab her by the throat for trying to force an apology out of him. He was Handsome Jack, damn it; he never had to apologize to anyone because he was never fricken’ wrong.

“I’m…. _sorry_ ,” he said, forcing the words out from between clenched teeth.

“Was that so hard?” Rei asked, lying down next to him, pulling off her sweatshirt and then shimmying out of her jeans, revealing lacey black panties.

“No…but _I_ will be if you don’t knock it off. What do you think you’re doing?”

“I sleep in my underwear. Sorry. Should have gotten me my own room.”

“Oh yeah? Well I sleep nude, should I just go ahead and do that, then?”

“Well I can’t stop ya. Night!” said Rei, rolling over so her back was to Jack.

She grinned at the wall, pleased with her tiny act of revenge, while Jack grumbled to himself and kicked off his shoes.

\----

After spending almost every waking moment with him for more than week, Rei had formed a strange, antagonistic friendship with Jack, and although he still frightened her at times, they were more alike than she cared to admit. She mostly spent her time following Jack around Pandora as he visited various Hyperion construction sites and army bases, examined various tech and weapons, and conducted business and military meetings. It seemed as though the visit was less about actually checking on how things were progressing and more about intimidating his employees and reminding them that he was a force to be reckoned with, should they fail him. It actually amused Rei, watching Jack strut around an army base, big, burly soldiers scattering to avoid him. But being forced to be in his presence at all times often made her feel like a petulant child being punished, although there was the benefit of getting to know Jack fairly well and being able to read some of his moods.

Rei was surprised at how little Jack actually had her doing. Getting him coffee, jotting down notes, and giving her opinion on things like, “the helmet with the logo or without?” and “how’s my hair?”. Mostly she just hung out by his side, snickering and offering a snide remark here and there while he harassed his employees and occasionally discussed business dealings. She had begun to get a bit of a reputation around Hyperion as Jack’s sharp tongued new lackey, Aurelia disdainfully calling her “New Rhys” and asking if she, too, was going to lop off an arm for Jack.

“Don’t mind her, pumpkin. Aurelia has always had a bad case of Handsome Jack fever,” he had told her with a wink.

Rei had no opinion on her blossoming reputation. She didn’t love idea of people thinking that she had chosen to be at Jack’s beck and call around the clock, but the job definitely came with its perks. People began showing her almost as much respect as they did Jack, and tended to stay out of her way, grow quiet when she entered a room, open doors, and pull out chairs for her. Even Jack himself treated her pretty well. On their second day on Pandora, Jack had pressed a keycard into Rei’s hand, muttering something about wanting the bed to himself so he could jerk off.

Even with her own room, Rei somehow always found herself in Jack’s. The pair could often be found lounging around the room, drinking and watching fuzzy bandit broadcasts on the old, crappy television after the day’s work was done. Occasionally they could be seen shooting cans off the roof, or sharing a cigarette or a joint at one of the patio tables out front. On one such evening, Jack finally brought up Rei’s role in the grand scheme of things.

“So, kiddo, tomorrow is your time to shine,” he said, sprawled out on the bed in nothing but a pair of jeans, the TV remote balanced on his broad, muscular chest, hands behind his head.

“Whatcha mean?” asked Rei, who was lying next to him on her stomach, head resting on her arms.

“We’re going up to Lynchwood to do a little press for the grand opening of my biggest Eridium mine. That’s going to be your domain full of all your little worker bees, and I want your face front and center. You’re gonna be on TV, sweetheart,” he said, grinning toothily.

“I…what?” she said, sitting up quickly.

“That’s right, we’re going to entice dum-dums from all over the galaxy to come work in my mines using our good looks and effortless charm. TV spots, posters, newspaper articles, you name it, our faces are gonna be on it.”

“Jack… I don’t know if that’s such a good idea.”

“Don’t be nervous, cupcake, I’ll do all the talking.”

“You always do.”

“So there’s no problem, then.”

“You don’t get it, broadcasting my face around the galaxy is bad idea. I didn’t get to where I am without making a few enemies.”

Jack laughed. “Kitten, I can’t walk down the street without bumping into someone who wants to kill me. There isn’t a single person in the universe that I can’t protect you from.”

“You’re inviting trouble to come find us, most people don’t even know where I went after leaving Pandora. All they know is that I left and took a huge piece of the black market with me, and you better believe they want to take it back,” she said in frustration.

“You’ll be fine, I won’t let anything happen to you. I promise. Now quit whining, I had Rhysie send something down for you, custom made. Open the white box fist.” Jack pointed to two boxes, one black and one white, on a table by the window. Rei eyed him suspiciously, then slid off the bed to retrieve it.

“Wow, this is…really nice, thank you” she said softly, pulling a crisp, new lab coat from the box. It had a shiny yellow stripe around each shoulder and under each arm, going down to the hem. A big Hyperion ‘H’ of the same slick material was stitched onto the back, outlined in silver thread. The chest pocket had a similar tiny ‘H’ in one corner, and above the pocket was a small, rectangular metal badge engraved with the words, “Dr. Rei Barrett, Head of Eridium Operations”.

“Gotta have you looking your best on camera, doll. Which brings us to the other box…”

Rei opened the black box and stared at the contents.

“No. Nuh-uh. Not a chance.”

“Now, cupcake, we need to you looking professional. The way you normally dress is cute, but a little on the bandit-y side.”

“This is your idea of what a professional looking scientist wears?” Rei asked incredulously, pulling an expensive looking, form fitting dress from the box and holding it up to her chest. It was black with a sweetheart neckline and off the shoulder sleeves, adorned with yellow leather straps winding around each forearm and buckling at the wrist. The dress hit her at about mid thigh, too short for a normal office. The box also contained a pair of knee high black boots with yellow four inch heels.

“People are going to mistake me for an escort if I wear this,” she said, wrinkling her nose.

“Well that’s why I also got you the name tag,” said Jack, cocking an eyebrow and smiling mischievously. “Come on pumpkin, we need to project the image that Hyperion is where all the sexy, rich people work, even at the outposts on Pandora.”

“So why don’t you have to get a sleazy makeover, then? You dress like a pirate who got his laundry mixed up with some college kid’s.”

“Baby, I look good and you know it. It’s my brand. Can’t change that. Don’t need to,” he said, disinterestedly. “So you gonna wear the nice shit I got you or not?”

Rei could tell he was growing impatient. “Fine. It’s a nice dress, I’ll admit, though it’s super inappropriate for a respected scientist. But hey, it’s your company. So when are you bringing Rhys down to take over as Jack-sitter so I can actually start doing some work?”

“Oh-ho-ho, you’re not off the hook yet. You are first and foremost my little helper monkey. Don’t forget it,” Jack said, taking a swig of his beer.

“Is this like a forever thing, or…”

“Only if you’re lucky, doll.”

“Hah, _lucky,_ he says,” scoffed Rei, flopping down on the bed.

“Don’t pretend like you don’t enjoy the VIP treatment you get when I’m around. And lemme tell ya, it’s only gonna get better. I’ve got plans to build the galaxy’s first and only orbiting casino. It’s gonna be huge, both literally and figuratively, and if you play your cards right- pun intended- I’ll let you in on the action.”

“That’s awesome, but… Why would you offer to share it with me, of all people? Aren’t I essentially your prisoner?”

“I prefer frenemy, sweet cheeks. Besides, you don’t want to be a shitty little drug dealer for the rest of your life, do ya? Time to step up and play with the big boys, start making some real money. And daddy Jack’s gonna help you along the way because he’s a _really_ nice guy.”

Rei rolled her eyes at him, grabbing the beer out of his hands and taking a long sip.

“Dammit, kid, why can’t you ever open one of your own?”

“This one _is_ mine. At least, it is now, _daddy Jack_ ,” she said teasingly.

“Ohh, I like the way that sounds coming out of your mouth, babe. Better not say it again, though, or I might not be able to control myself,” Jack purred.

Rei put the beer down on the bedside table, grabbed some of the short hairs on his chest, and leaned in close to Jack’s ear to playfully whisper, “ _Daddy. Jack_.”

Before she knew what hit her, Rei was tossed onto her back and pinned beneath him, arms held above her head. He leaned down and dragged his tongue across her neck, making her shiver. He shoved his knee between her legs, forcing them open and positioned himself between them, lowering his hips so they were flush with her own.

“I told you,” his voice husky and dripping with lust, “I wouldn’t be able to control myself. You should have listened, kitten.”

Jack began to grind his growing hardness between Rei’s legs and a soft moan escaped her lips.

“How’s that feel, baby? You like it when Handsome Jack teases you? Or are you going to beg me for the real thing?” 

He snaked a hand under her shirt to fondle her perky little tits, kneading and massaging the soft flesh and gently rolling her nipples between his fingers. Rei couldn’t help but moan louder, eliciting a dark and dangerous laugh from Jack as he continued to roll his hips into her. Suddenly, his hands were in her hair, pulling her face up to meet his. Their lips crashed together as he kissed her roughly, hungrily, pressing her into the bed. He slipped his tongue between her parted lips, intertwining it with hers, eagerly exploring her mouth, then abruptly pulled back, looking at her with fire in his eyes.

“Oh my, kitten, are we secretly a very bad girl? Stick out your tongue.”

Rei smiled deviously and did as she was told.

“Hah! I knew it!” Jack exclaimed, staring excitedly at the silver stud glinting in the center.

He leaned in and sucked Rei’s tongue, then deepened the kiss, swiping his own tongue over the little barbell, teasing it, making her moan heatedly into his mouth. She dragged her nails down his bare back, broad and muscular, decorated with a crisscrossing pattern of old scars. He groaned softly and bucked his hips into her, now fully engorged beneath his jeans. Rei reached down and began to fumble with his belt.

“Beg for it, kitten. Tell me how much you want my cock inside you,” he hissed in her ear. 

“ _Jack_ …” she groaned in frustration, pulling his belt open and tugging at his fly. He caught her hand and pinned her arms above her head once more.

“Beg. Me. You had countless opportunities to get fucked by Handsome Jack, but you let your silly little ego get in the way. Now you’re going to have to beg for my dick like the desperate little slut you are. Go on. _Beg_ ,” he growled, rolling his hips into her roughly, making sure she could feel every inch of his throbbing erection.

“Please, Jack… I…I really, really want you to fuck me.”

“And?” said Jack, apparently unsatisfied.

“And…I want your cock so badly. I just want to get my mouth on it…Please let me blow you, handsome,” she breathed with the hint of whine.

Jack released her wrists and rolled off her, sliding off the bed to stand next to it.

“Good girl. Now show me what that smart little mouth of yours can do.”

Rei scooted to the edge of the bed, getting on her knees in front of Jack, He reached out and slid his hands under her shirt and bra, lifting them over her head and flinging them across the room. He ran his hands up and down the length of her torso, gently toying with her belly button ring. Rei tugged down his zipper, pulling his enormous cock free and brushing her mouth against the leaking tip, smearing his pre cum over her lips She licked it up, flashing him a devilish smile. 

“Damn, baby…” Jack mumbled as he sucked in his breath.

Rei slowly dragged her tongue up the length of his cock, swirling it around the head and teasing his slit with the stud of her tongue piercing. Then, in one fluid motion, she took as much of Jack into her mouth as she could, letting the head of his dick hit the back of her throat. He was so big that there were at least three inches she couldn’t fit, so she wrapped her hand around his base and stroked him. Jack threw back his head and groaned loudly, winding his hands into her long, brunette locks as she slowly drew her head back, sucking his tip while pumping his slickened shaft. Jack began to rock his hips forward, thrusting shallowly into her mouth, letting her toy with the head of his cock. Suddenly she enveloped almost all of his member in her hot, wet mouth, flicking her tongue ring over his shaft. Jack let out a sharp breath, his grip in her hair suddenly solid and unyielding as he held her head still.

“I’m not gonna last if you keep doing that, kitten. Seriously, I’m about ready to bust, holy shit. Lie back,” he said, breathing heavily and letting go of her head.

Rei lay back on the bed, and much to her surprise, Jack grabbed her hips and pulled her toward him so that her legs dangled over the edge. He tore her jeans off then hooked a finger in the waist of her lacey red thong, playing with it before abruptly ripping them off as well. He grabbed her ankles, throwing one leg over his shoulder, then the other. Jack leaned into her wetness, gently probing her folds with his tongue before dipping it inside her. Rei threw a hand over her mouth as she tried to stifle loud moan, but Jack reached up and pulled her hand away.

“I’m going to make you scream my name and I want to _hear it_. Nice and loud now, ok, pumpkin?” he said, then swiped his tongue over her clit. 

Rei tensed and arched her back as though a jolt of electricity had shot through her body, breathlessly moaning, “Yes, Jack!!”

Jack grinned at her maliciously, grabbing her hips to hold her in place before lowering his head once more. He swirled his tongue over her clit and slipped a finger inside her, then two, curling them in the utmost perfect way. But Rei needed more. She sat up on her elbows and looked down at the incredibly hot man between her legs.

“Please… I want you inside me. Fuck me, Handsome Jack:”

“You ready, baby? Think you can take this big fuckin’ cock?” he growled, kicking off his pants and putting a knee up on the bed next to Rei’s hips.

Jack loomed over her, planting a hand on either side of her head and crawling forward like a panther stalking prey, forcing Rei to slide back into the center of the bed. He knelt between her legs and lined himself up with her entrance, hovering there and leaning down to suck and nuzzle the crook of her neck while he stroked her drenched opening with the tip of his dick. Suddenly he bit down hard and thrust in, almost to the hilt.

“Fuck!!” she cried out, feeling the both the burn from being abruptly stretched by his impressive girth and the sting of his teeth nipping her neck.

Jack pushed in deeper, grunting in satisfaction as the soft, slick heat of her body enveloped his length.

“God, you’re so fucking tight, it feels amazing, I can’t fucking believe you made me wait so goddamn long to fuck you. No more of that, princess. Game over. You’re mine now, and you’re going to take-“Jack pulled out and slammed his cock back into her, making her yelp and whine, “Everything-“ another slam. “I give you.“ Jack snapped his hips into her. “And you’re going to thank me for it, you little fucking drug pushing pain in my ass,” he said menacingly.

Jack was a talker in bed; of course he was, Rei thought to herself. She rolled her hips and dug her nails into Jack’s back, mewling in pain and pleasure while his heavy, cum filled balls slapped against her ass in a wonderfully obscene way. He increased the pounding rhythm of his thrusts, slamming her into the bed, making the headboard smash against the wall with every pump of his hips. Jack slipped a hand around her throat, giving it a light squeeze and Rei moaned wantonly at full volume.

“You just want a reason to hate fuck me, big boy. And I fuckin’ love it,” she hissed in his ear.

“Oh yeah? You like it rough, baby? Good, because I can’t give it to you any other way right now. Ya see, you just got me so damn riled up waiting for you, and hell, I haven’t even cum in four days. Do you know how huge this load is gonna be when I bust? You’re gonna have my cum dripping down your legs for days, kitten. I’m gonna make you walk around Pandora in a skirt and no panties just so everyone can see,” he said, grinding his pubic bone against her clit, his cock buried deep inside her.

“Do your worst, you psychotic motherfucker,” Rei whispered spitefully.

That did it. Whatever restraint Jack had vanished at hearing his least favorite word to describe himself.

“You want to see psychotic, little girl? I’LL FUCKING SHOW YOU PSYCHOTIC!” he roared, clamping down on her throat, making her sputter and gasp, and jackhammering into her.

Suddenly he scooped her up, forcing Rei to wrap her legs around his waist as he quickly stood and slammed her against the wall with a loud bang, still thrusting into her. Jack reached over to the window and tore the curtains down, putting the pair of them on display for all the world to see. Almost as if he had planned it, there were already a few people in the parking lot, obviously drawn out of their rooms by all the noise. Wilhelm and Aurelia were among them, Wilhelm pumping his fist in the air and whooping gleefully, egging them on, while Aurelia stood frozen with her mouth agape, looking absolutely scandalized. All Rei could do was bury her face in the crook of Jack’s neck and try to stifle her moans, cheeks burning. 

“You like giving ‘em a show, don’t you, kitten? You like letting all of Pandora know that you’re Handsome Jack’s little fuck toy? God, those fuckers are enjoying watching you almost as much as I’m enjoying fucking you, look,” he crooned, grabbing her jaw and forcing her head to face the window.

“You’re an asshole,” she whined, feeling a pang of shame at her orgasm rising from being forced to have an audience.

“You earned it, sweetheart. I think we’re gonna have to end our little show soon, though, I’m fucking close. Real fucking close,” he said, panting and reaching between them to rub her clit with his thumb. “Scream my name, baby.”

“Jack! Oh fuck!” Rei moaned loudly, grinding on his cock.

“I said SCREAM IT,” he snarled, thrusting his swollen member viciously up into her.

“HANDSOME JACK!!” she howled. “Oh god, I’m almost there…”

“Oh fuck, baby… I want you cum with me. I want you writhing on my dick while I fill you up,” he said, voice strained and gravelly.

“Yes, Jack, oh fuck yes, give it to me!” she said, feeling Jack swell and stiffen even more inside of her.

“Oh fuck… oh fuck. I’m gonna cum baby, take it!” he groaned, burying his face in her neck and biting the delicate flesh hard enough to draw blood,  
That sent Rei spiraling over the edge, engulfed by lust and pain and ecstasy all rolled into one, incredible, earth shattering orgasm, all while screaming Jack’s name. Her pussy clamped down on Jack’s cock, forcing him over the edge with her.

“FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!!” he roared, burying himself to the hilt in her tight wetness and letting go.

Jack hips stuttered as his orgasm ripped through him and his cock exploded inside her, throbbing and shooting rope after rope of thick, hot cum into her pussy. He continued thrusting into her, trying to get as deep as possible while he rode out his orgasm. He groaned and panted against Rei’s neck, cock still pulsing and twitching inside of her, her pussy milking every last drop of semen he had.

They stayed like that for a couple minutes, leaning against the wall, Jack still buried inside her, both breathing hard. When he finally pulled out, a rush of his cum followed, spilling down Rei’s legs. Jack looked extremely please with himself as he flopped down on the bed, grabbing his beer and taking a long sip. Rei grabbed a towel hanging over the back of a chair and wiped herself down, then joined him.

“Well kitten, that was worth the wait. I can’t remember the last time I came so hard.”

“Uh, Jack… you’ve still got an audience out there,” Rei said uncomfortably, pulling the sheets around herself and eyeing the few stragglers leering at them through the window.

Jack stood, stretched, grabbed his gun and strode over to the door, throwing it open, his spent cock hanging heavily between his thighs. 

“SHOW’S OVER, DUM-DUMS, SCRAM,” he shouted, firing into the air. 

They scattered hastily, with the exception of Wilhelm and Aurelia, who were sitting at a patio table, Wilhelm scarfing down something straight from the can while Aurelia watched in disgust.

“Atta boy, Jack! We had a pool goin’ on when you’d finally hit that, and you just won me two grand!” he crowed, slapping the table gleefully.

“How can you eat after watching that horrendous display? Wilhelm, you’re going to make me ill,” hissed Aurelia angrily. 

“D’aww, don’t be jealous, pumpkin. Maybe I’ll take you for a spin, too, sometime, if you ever pull the stick outta your ass,” said Jack casually, still standing stark naked in the doorway.

Aurelia blushed furiously and muttered, “I haven’t the faintest idea what you’re on about.” 

Jack cackled and shut the door, returning to the bed. He pulled Rei into his lap with her back pressed against his chest and wrapped his powerful arms around her waist. He buried in his face in the crook of her neck, kissing her softly and inhaling her scent.

“I didn’t take you for a cuddler,” she said, her voice dripping with snark.

“Shut up, kitten,” he murmured into her shoulder. “You smell so good.”

“I smell like you,” said Rei, noticing the sweet, smoky scent now wafting from her own skin.

“Mmm. Yeah, exactly,” he said smugly.

Rei rolled her eyes. Typical Jack.


	7. Mama Says Hi

It seemed as though Jack’s antics from the previous night had gotten around the Echonet, but Rei’s name had thankfully been omitted. She wasn’t recognizable enough to be mentioned, but she feared that was about to change. The next morning, she pulled on the outfit Jack had given her, grumbling all the while. She appraised herself in the mirror, feeling a twinge of annoyance that she actually looked quite good in the clothes Jack had picked out. Sexy. A little dangerous, even. She decided to run with it and applied heavy black eyeliner in a cat-eye style to complete the look.

“Yeah-heh-hesss, cupcake! That’s what I’m talking about!” crowed Jack as she shut the door to her room. He was waiting for her in the parking lot, leaning against a shiny black sports car. He looked much the same as always, except he had swapped his sneakers for steel toe combat boots. 

Rei scowled at him. “Let’s just get this over with.”

Jack opened the passenger side door for her and gestured inside. “Let’s roll, babe.”

An hour later, they were tearing into the parking lot of Lynchwood Mine, Jack purposely causing the car to drift before screeching to a stop. A crowd was already assembled in front of a raised platform just outside the entrance of the mine.

“You drive like a crazy person,” Rei remarked, stepping out of the car.

“What? Don’t give me that, you were having a blast, hanging out the window and shit,” chuckled Jack.

“Yeah, I meant that as a compliment-” She was cut off by a swarm of paparazzi and press crowding in on them, snapping pictures and pointing video cameras in their faces. Jack grinned, throwing an arm around her shoulders and steering her through the chaos, the crowd shifting to stay out of his way.

“This already sucks, Jack.”

“You’ll get used to it, sweetheart. If you’re going to be a poster girl for the Hyperion Mining Corps, you’ll have to,” he said, mugging for the cameras, clearly enjoying the attention.

He led her to a stage adorned with a huge, yellow “Hyperion Mining Corps” banner, taking his place behind the podium while she stood a few feet behind him. At either end of the platform stood two loader bots, and next to them, some official looking men in suits with Hyperion badges. One of the men strode over to Rei, holding a large shotgun.

“Ned Truman, head of Hyperion-Pandora PR, very nice to meet you,” he said mechanically, shoving the gun into her hands.

“I’ve got my own gun. What’s this for?” she asked, bewildered.

“It looks good. We needed to add a little height and muscle to your image.”

“A little height, huh? These ridiculous shoes wouldn’t have anything to with that, would they?” Rei shot Jack a piercing glare. He leered back at her, unabashedly. 

“Let’s get this show on the road,” Jack said, stepping up to the mic. “Citizens of Pandora, Handsome Jack here! I’ve got a new and exciting opportunity for ya. Today marks the opening of Hyperion’s best and biggest Eridium mine, and we want _you_ to come be a part of the magic. Not a Pandoran citizen? Hyperion is the number one provider of inter-planetary work visas, so shut the hell up and come on down! The pay is good and you’ll have the pleasure of working for the lovely Dr. Rei Barrett-“ he gestured behind him to Rei. She could almost feel the cameras zooming in on her face. “So join the Hyperion Mining Corps now! We’re waiting for you…” he finished ominously. He stepped back, arms spread wide in a welcoming gesture, letting the furiously flashing cameras in the crowd capture his pose. A photographer dressed in Hyperion colors made his way over to Rei while Jack answered questions and mugged for the camera. 

“We need a few photos. Can you hold the gun over your shoulder like this?” the photographer asked, sticking out his hip and putting his hand on his waist in what Rei assumed he thought was a sexy pose. She looked questioningly over to Jack, who had his back to her, but was watching her out of the corner of his eye. 

“Do it, kitten,” he murmured over his shoulder. Rei sighed, but obliged.

“Great, that’s perfect. Real badass. Hold that pose, gorgeous,” said the photographer, snapping away.

“That’s Dr. Barrett to you, buddy,” grumbled Rei.

Suddenly the crowd around the stage began to scream and scatter, fleeing from an unforeseen force plowing through them. A bandit Psycho came hurtling towards the stage, a bomb strapped to his chest, cackling maniacally. 

“SMASH THE BABY, EAT ITS TEETH!! MAMA SAYS HI! MAMA SAYS DIE!!” shrieked the Psycho as he began to scramble up the platform towards Rei, a detonator clutched in his hand. Rei swung the gun off her shoulder and aimed at the Psycho’s head.

“Down, boy,” she hissed, pulling the trigger. The bullet ripped through the bandit’s head, blasting bits of skull, blood, and brains all over the edge of the platform where he clung. He slumped forward as the life left his body, still clutching the detonator. Rei nudged the Psycho’s shoulder with a boot, holding the shotgun in one hand, still aimed at the bloody pulp that used to be his head.

Rei was only vaguely aware of cameras going off all around her, but was too preoccupied with her intense aggravation to compose her face into anything less than a glare. She had _known_ this would happen the second she appeared on the wrong screen, and she was irritated at Jack for ignoring her warnings. Seeing as Lynchwood was a hotspot for bandits, she was surprised it hadn’t happened as soon as she and Jack stepped foot outside the car. Jack and Rei were certainly very hated figures in the bandit community, albeit for vastly different reasons. 

“Well, folks, if that isn’t an endorsement for how safe you’ll be while in Hyperion’s employ, I don’t know what is! There’s nothing the world can throw at us that Hyperion can’t handle. How ya like that?” Jack said enthusiastically, leaning into the microphone on the podium. He strode over to Rei and threw an arm around her waist.

“Give ‘em a show, sweetheart, you just made yourself their hero,” he muttered into her ear. His hand slid down to her ass, giving it a squeeze. Rei looked up at him sharply, only to find him grinning goofily back, giving her a finger gun gesture and a wink. She slung the shotgun over her shoulder, laughing in spite of herself.

“Oh I think that was the one. Perfect, absolutely perfect,” crooned the photographer.

“So we’re done, here?” asked Rei.

“Yeah, kitten, that’s enough. We need to get you somewhere safe. Not that you need protecting…” Jack winked at her again.

“Who the hell ever said that I did?” she asked, leading the way back to Jack’s car.

“So what was all that about? “Mama says hi?” That’s a new one. Never heard that line from a Psycho before,” Jack mused, sliding into the driver’s seat.

“Hard to tell. Could be the usual incoherent nonsense, could be… a warning. Whoever sent him definitely wasn’t trying very hard to kill me. If they think a single Psycho can take me down, then they obviously don’t know who they’re dealing with. I told you this would happen, though. My Pandoran buddies know I’m home now, notice how it took them less than twenty minutes to track me down? And now they know that I’m working for you.”

Jack scoffed. “So what? Let them come after us. Between you, me, the vault hunters, and my whole fricken’ Hyperion army, they don’t stand a chance.”

“Well at least this trip hasn’t been boring- Hang on, I just got a message,” she said, pulling her buzzing Echo out of her lab coat. 

**Rhys:** Congrats, you and Jack just went viral. “down, boy” is trending. Great work!

 **Rei:** What do you mean “down, boy” is trending?

Rei’s Echo buzzed again and the screen lit up with a video. She hit play to find herself watching her encounter with the Psycho again. There she was, standing over the shrieking bandit, shotgun aimed at him with one arm, her expression stone cold. 

“Down, boy,” hissed the Rei in the video, pulling the trigger. The video repeated those two seconds about three more times before ending. 

**Rhys:** Can’t believe you pulled this off, it’s just too perfect. Now Hyperion Mining Corps is blowing up on all the message boards. We’ll have to celebrate when you guys get back to Helios. Looks like you and Jack are killin’ it!

A picture popped up on the screen. It was of Rei, shotgun over her shoulder, Jack standing behind her with an arm around her waist. She was smiling up at Jack while he grinned down at her, winking and devilishly handsome.

 **Rei:** Well aren’t we just fuckin’ adorable. 

**Rhys:** Hey, people are eating this shit up. They love the power couple angle.

Rei scoffed. “Power couple. Right,” she muttered under her breath.

“What was that, kitten?” Jack asked.

“Nothing. Look, you’ll love this,” she said, holding out her Echo and pointing to their picture.

“Oh hell yeah, that’s a good looking pair of heroes right there, baby! Saving Pandora, one dead, shitty bandit at a time,” he crowed gleefully. 

“If you say so…” 

Rei stared pensively out the window, wondering how she, of all people, could be seen as a hero in anyone’s eyes.


	8. A Wrench in His Plans, a Swing to the Face*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive me if there are typos/grammatical errors, I didn't super proof read this chapter. It's Hemingway Saturday, y'alllll (aka almostjack drinks all day and writes smut).

Jack paced back and forth across the makeshift office he had set up for himself in the Hyperion outpost headquarters. He was running out of time, and more importantly, patience. It had been close to two weeks since he had met with August about the vault key, the kid still didn’t have any news for him, and he needed to get back to Helios. Jack had taken to messaging August every other day, then every day, and now… Well, Jack didn’t like discussing business over the phone, but August was leaving him little choice with his lack of progress. 

“Kiddo. I need details, now. No more of this “no news today” crap. What’s the hold up?” he growled, scowling at the hologram version of August projected by his Echo. 

“I need more time. You’re gonna have to be patient, there’s been a few…complications. This might take a while.”

“What do you mean _complications_? Jack snarled.

“Well… the guy with the key kinda fell off the map when he found out it was _you_ who was lookin’ for him.”

“I told you to keep me anonymous, you complete idiot!”

“I did, asshole. Vallory warned ‘em. She’s fuckin’ pissed at you and is thinking about scrapping our deal and sending our boys after you. Better watch your back.”

“What’s her problem? I haven’t done shit to her…yet.”

“Turns out your little friend Barrett has been stealing business from her for years, not to mention she owes her a shitload of money for dealing on her turf. Also took down a few of her guys last time they met.”

“Fine, fuck it, I’ll pay her if it gets her off my back and gets you to do your damn job. Tell her she can stop sicking her little Psychos on us.”

“That’s not gonna be enough. She’s out for blood…she wants Barrett’s head on a platter. Then she might forgive you for parading her rival around like some spoiled little house cat.”

“Not gonna happen, sorry kiddo. I need Barrett intact so she can do her job. Unless you can find me some other gun slinging drug lord with a PhD and a tight ass.”

“Well... I’ll see what I can do about the key, but you’re going to have to deal with Vallory. You want me to see if she’ll meet with you?”

“Sure. I’d love to have a little chat with her,” Jack said darkly.

“Aight. I’ll be in touch.”

The Echo went dark and Jack slammed it down on the desk, sending papers flying everywhere, and nearly knocking over a glass of scotch. He grabbed the glass, drained it, then hurled it at the wall, seething. He was furious that some shitty little Pandoran drug ring was getting in the way of his plans, especially over a feud he had no part in. He flexed his large, powerful hands, aching to wrap them around someone’s throat. As if on queue, Jack heard footsteps approaching his door. _Hope this guy doesn’t have a family_ , he thought to himself with a low, malicious laugh.

“Jack?” Rei peered into the office. 

“Oh. Yeah, what do you want, kitten,” he said gruffly, disappointed that he would have to restrain himself.

“Uh… I was on my way out and I heard a crash. Everything alright?” she said, eyeing the shards of broken glass next to the wall.

“Everything’s fine,” he snapped, sitting on the edge of the desk and folding his arms angrily over his chest, glaring at her.

“Ok… So not fine. What’s the matter?” she said, approaching him.

“You, kitten. You causing me problems yet AGAIN. Sometimes I really wonder if you’re worth all the trouble…” he said, reaching out and winding a lock of her long hair around his finger.

“How? I’ve just been doing my job. You’ve been watching me like a hawk, you know I’m only following your orders.”

“Does the name Vallory ring any bells, cupcake?” he asked, sliding his hand up the back of her neck and tangling it in her hair. Rei’s eyes grew wide as they darted around the office, looking for an escape.

“What do you know about Vallory?” she asked nervously.

“Well she wants you dead, for one thing. And she’s getting in the way of me opening a vault, for another. I’m gonna have to pay the bitch off, thanks to you. Maybe I should take it out of your salary, what do ya think?” he said, giving her hair a sharp tug.

“Ouch, Jack, quit it. I’m sorry. I told you I have enemies. Told you not to push our luck... So now what are you gonna do?” Rei watched Jack’s cold eyes spark to life, a sudden flicker of a flame as something undoubtedly sadistic and gruesome crossed his mind. 

“Well, right now… I think we need to have a little disciplinary meeting so we can get you back on track,” he growled huskily, bringing his lips to her neck.

“I… I don’t want to fool around when you’re like this, Jack. You’re freaking me out.”

Jack ignored her and continued mouthing at her neck, scraping his teeth across the sensitive skin, sending shivers down her spine.

“Seriously, Jack, you don’t know your own strength. You could really hurt me…”

“Are you scared, kitten?” he whispered in her ear, his voice low and deadly.

“Yes…”

“Good.”

Jack grabbed her by the waist and threw her against the desk, then put a hand on the back of her head, pressing Rei’s face into the dark wood. She felt him behind her, pressing his groin to her ass, then heard the telltale clinking of his belt buckle. Jack roughly pulled her pants down to her thighs and hooked a finger in her blue thong, toying with it.

“You’ve got a new assignment, doll. Making sure I’m always satisfied so I don’t get sick of cleaning up your messes,” he said, rubbing his growing erection on her ass. 

“Jack, please, let me be on top,” pleaded Rei, trying to mitigate the damage as she knew it was too late to stop him.

“Maybe next time, sweet cheeks. Right now, you need to learn a lesson.”

He thrust into her roughly, making her squeal. He immediately started thrusting at a punishing speed, slamming himself into her as hard as possible, making her alternate between whimpering in pain and moaning in ecstasy.

“You like that, kitten? I don’t think you’re learning anything if you’re enjoying this… Let’s kick it up a notch.”

Jack pulled out and began to rub himself between her ass cheeks, teasing her tiny hole. Without any preparation or lubrication, he started to roughly force the tip of his cock in. Rei yelped and began to struggle. Jack reached down and pulled both her arms behind her back, pinning them underneath him with a single hand, the other hand planted next to her head to brace himself. 

“JACK!! STOP!” she wailed as he forced his dick further inside her.

“That’s more like it- GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!” Jack howled as Rei bit down on his hand, piercing the flesh, her teeth sinking deep. He threw her to the ground, swearing and bleeding. Rei licked his blood from her lips, glaring up at him, her cheek red from being forced against the desk.

“I said… _stop_ ,” she hissed.

The bite seemed to have snapped Jack out of whatever murderous trance he had been in, as he rounded the desk and threw himself into his chair, resting his head on his palm and panting. 

“You have some sharp fucking teeth, you know that?” Jack growled, dabbing at his bleeding hand. 

Rei stood slowly and walked over to stand in front of Jack, saying nothing, but glaring at him intensely. She drew her gun from her thigh holster and pointed it between his eyes.

“If you ever do that again, I’ll kill you,” she hissed.

Jack let out a short bark of a laugh. “Sure ya will, kitten.”

She stood silently for a moment, then drew back her hand and swung, clocking Jack across the face with her gun. He sucked in his breath sharply, rubbing his jaw and wincing.

“That’s fair. I might have deserved that.”

Jack hadn’t tucked himself back onto his pants and Rei noticed his erection returning.

“Oh that does it for ya, huh?” she said, laughing darkly. 

“Among other things. You better get the fuck over here, though, because no one hits Handsome Jack unless he’s inside them.” He said, snapping his fingers and pointing to his dick.

“Normally I’d tell you to go fuck yourself, but this-” she dragged her tongue up the barrel of the gun “could be fun.” She kicked off her pants and straddled Jack’s lap, holding the gun to his neck and pressing down just hard enough so that his breathing was labored. She slid her thong to the side, and hovered over Jack’s stiff, leaking cock, just out of reach.

“Quit teasing, kitten, or I’m gonna end up getting too rough again,” he grunted.

“Shut up,” she hissed, shoving the side of the gun into his neck forcefully, making him sputter.

He grabbed her hips and forced her down, eliciting a lustful groan from them both, and began to rock his hips upward. 

“Ride me, kitten,” he whispered breathily.

Rei began to bounce on Jack’s cock, relishing the way he was coming undone just by being roughed up a bit. She picked up her pace, grinding down on him, making Jack throw his head back and moan loudly, eyes screwed shut, member throbbing relentlessly. Without warning, Rei’s free hand came crashing down across Jack’s cheek.

“ _FUCK!_ Watch the money maker, kid,” he choked out. Rei let loose a maniacal laugh, one that could rival Jack’s own signature cackle. She grabbed him by the hair, yanking his head back against the chair as hard as she could. This was a more sadistic side of Rei than Jack had yet seen, and he was thoroughly enjoying it. He was lost in the heated daze of being ridden so forcefully and so lightheaded from the lack of oxygen that his orgasm took him by surprise.

“Ah fuck, baby, I’m about to-“ he gasped out a split second before his entire body shuddered as he slammed his hips into hers, digging his fingers into her hips hard enough to bruise, and groaning intensely as his cock began to pulse and spurt inside her. The feeling of Jack’s dick throbbing and the rush of hot cum sent Rei over the edge, and suddenly she too was cumming, moaning heatedly in Jack’s ear. 

She lowered her gun and slumped into his chest, burying her face in his shoulder. Jack leaned back into the headrest, gasping hard as his lungs were finally able fill completely.

“So we’re even, then?” he panted.

“I’m still pissed at you,” she said into his shoulder, her voice muffled.

“Yeah, well I’m pissed at you too, pumpkin. So there ya go. Nice and even. But I think I’ll get over it if the sex keeps being this god damn good. Alright, up an at ‘em. Apparently I now have to drag your ass back to Helios with me so you don’t get killed.”

“I don’t need a body guard, Jack,” she said, sliding off his lap and wiping the dribble of his cum from her thigh with her hand. She pulled her jeans and boots back on.

“Uh, yes ya do. If Vallory sends her goons after you, not just drug addled, brain dead bandits, you’ll be in big trouble. Even worse once she actually gets her own hands on you. She’s a real tough bitch, that’s why I like workin’ with her. Well, used to, anyway. Thanks for burning that bridge for me, kiddo.”

Rei made an impatient noise in the back of her throat. “Fine, whatever. The lab down here isn’t finished, anyway, and I want to run some tests on Lynchwood’s Eridium.” She licked the cum off her hand, much to Jack’s delight, and he made a pleasant little humming noise.

“Aw, cupcake, you’re _filthy_ , I love it. I guess it’s not so bad being forced to be your babysitter.”

“’scuse me, but _I_ have been the one babysitting _you_. You know, being at your beck and call 24/7, catering to your every silly little whim.”

“See it however you want, sweetheart. Just be ready to leave when I get back to the motel tonight. The sooner we get back to Helios, the better.”


	9. Be My Kitten*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Aw, kitten, why aren’t you wearing the nice necklace I got you?” he whined, looking crestfallen.
> 
> “It’s not a necklace, Jack.”
> 
> “Then what is it?”
> 
> “It’s a collar, Jack.”
> 
> “Ok, so?”
> 
> “I’m not a cat, Jack.”
> 
> “No, you’re my kitten,” he said, grinning at her goofily.  
> \------------
> 
> AKA Jack does a sentimental thing in a very Jack way, this is a cute one y'all. Well, as cute as we're probably gonna get with these two dirty lords of chaos, anyway.

“Heh-heyyy, buddy. How was Pandora?” said Rhys dropping his elbows onto Rei’s work station with a thud, placing his palms under his chin.

“Probably the opposite of whatever Jack said it was,” she grumbled, not looking up from her microscope. She prodded at the petri dish under the lens. They had been back on Helios for about a week and Rei was tired of everyone constantly asking her about the trip, and more specifically, for details about Jack. 

“Well, uh, it seemed like he had a pretty good time, and uh, you did too,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows at her.

“He tells you everything, huh?” She shot him an aggravated look.

“Pretty much.”

“He’s your very bestest friend in the whole world, eh?”

“I mean, I wouldn’t go that far. He’s just my really good bro who I am slightly terrified of.”

“Is he always so damn clingy? He wouldn’t let me out of his sight on Pandora.”

“Yep. That sounds like Jack. He latches on to the few people he deems worthy of his awesomeness and sucks the life outta them, all while showering them with gifts and constant attention. I think that’s his idea of friendship.”

“Well that explains a lot. So, uh, you come down here for anything in particular? The lab isn’t exactly down the hall from Jack’s office.”

“Uhhh….” Rhy adjusted his tie nervously. “Please, please, _please_ don’t get mad, this is all Jack’s idea, I told him not to, but uh…here.” He pulled a small, rectangular jewelry box from a pocket on his vest.

“Oh no,” groaned Rei.

“Yep,” sighed Rhys.

“I’m going to hate it, aren’t I?”

“Maybe. Probably.”

“You really weren’t kidding about the “showering with gifts thing”, huh?” she mused, pulling the hinged lid open. Her jaw dropped. “Oh my god.”

“I told him it was a bad idea. He never listens.”

Rei stared at the contents of the box, at a loss for words. Inside, lay a black leather collar with tiny diamond studs in a row from end to end. From the collar hung a round, silver tag engraved with the word, “Kitten”. Rei was surprised and confused by how much she _didn’t _hate it. She should hate it; it was just another symbol of Jack’s possessiveness, and as much as she actually enjoyed whatever their weird little fuck buddy friendship was, she refused to be owned by him. So of course she’d never actually wear the collar, probably.__

“There’s a note…” Rhys sheepishly held out a piece of paper on which Jack had scribbled, _“Been thinkin’ about dat ass. Come see me, kitten."_

“Oh my god,” Rei said again. “Does he mean right now? Do I actually have to wear this fucking thing?”

“I’d go to him before he comes to you and makes a scene. He was acting a little…I dunno…. _off_.”

Rei groaned. She was about to tell Rhys that she was busy and Jack could go fuck himself, literally if he wanted, when the door to lab slid open. A man in a black pinstripe suit with broad shoulders and thick black hair strode in. 

“Rei, Rei, Rei. Why are you such a hard little lady to get a hold of? Hey there Rhys, my favorite little lap dog,” he drawled in a deep voice.

“Yeah, screw you too, pal.” grumbled Rhys.

“Not now, Vasquez. I don’t have anything for you, get out,” Rei said icily.

“I’m almost dry, here, sweetheart. You’ve been ignoring my messages. You know that makes me angry.”

“In case you haven’t heard, I’ve been pretty busy down on Pandora. I’ll get you your shit tomorrow, quit bugging me,” Rei said, sounding thoroughly irritated.

“You better start treating me with a little more respect. Just because you think you’re hot shit around here now doesn’t mean that I can’t still airlock your ass. You’re my subordinate, no matter what you are to Jack. Besides, Jack’s my buddy, too,” he said pompously, leaning casually against the table. 

Rei looked over to Rhys questioningly and he shook his head while shrugging his shoulders, looking just as confused as she did. Rhys had seen Jack punch Vazquez squarely in the face on numerous occasions. It was really the only way Jack greeted Vasquez these days. Well, that and, _“’Sup, Ass-quez,"_ followed by a derisive cackle.

The sparkling of the diamonds in the open box had caught Vasquez’s eye, and his hand darted out, snatching up the collar before Rei could stop him.

“A bondage collar with real diamonds, eh? Now this has _got_ to be my boy Jack’s handiwork… Looks like he treats you real nice, _kitten_. Oh man, my guys are gonna get a kick out of this!” Vasquez taunted.

“Fuck off and die, asshole,” spat Rei, snatching the collar from him.

“Listen, little lady, I just want my damn drugs ASAP, ok? You’ll keep my happy if you know what’s good for ya…” Vasquez whipped out a switchblade and slammed the tip into the slick, white finish of the lab table, causing a large crack to travel across its width. 

“Wonderful. Thanks for that. Now get out,” snarled Rei.

Vasquez laughed obnoxiously and pulled the knife out of the table, returning it to his pocket. He turned to leave, clapping Rhys condescendingly on the shoulder on his way out.

“Damn, you have a lot of people making threats on your life these days, huh?” remarked Rhys.

“Eh, it comes with the territory. Man, that guy…is on…sooooo many drugs. My worst best customer. Fucking prick.”

“I hate ‘em too. So does Jack. I’m not a fan of Jack airlocking people, but hell, that guy deserves it.”

Rei’s face lit up, a mischievous grin slowly forming. “You know, I think I will go see Jack. Maybe we can have a little chat about Vasquez.”

Rhys pretended to gasp and held his cybernetic hand to his mouth in fake horror. 

“Oh no, are you going to get our friend in trouble? Don’t do that!” he said sarcastically.

“Oh I wouldn’t dream of it,” Rei said with a smirk. 

\---------------

Rei found Jack slouching in his oversized armchair with his chin resting on his palm, turned to face the window over looking the moon. He looked ghostly in the pale moonlight, his expression distant. Maybe a little sad. 

“Kitten,” he said softly without looking up.

“How’d you know it was me?” she asked, reaching out and massaging the back of his neck.

“You always smell like vanilla,” he said simply. “So how do you like it?” he asked, sitting up and grinning wolfishly at her. She noticed that his eyes still remained cold and distant.

“Aw, kitten, why aren’t you wearing the nice necklace I got you?” he whined, looking crestfallen.

“It’s not a necklace, Jack.”

“Then what is it?”

“It’s a collar, Jack.”

“Ok, so?”

“I’m not a cat, Jack.”

“No, you’re my kitten,” he said, grinning at her goofily.

She couldn’t help but laugh. She plopped herself down into his lap, searching his face for any clue as to what his mood might be. Rei was, as she had been on many occasions with him, completely stumped. 

They sat in silence for a little while. It was oddly intimate, Rei curled up in Jack’s lap with her head on his shoulder and his arm around her waist, both of them fully clothed for once, Jack making no attempt to paw at her or mouth at her neck. He was quiet and still, it was perhaps the first time Rei had ever seen him this way. It made her uneasy.

“Would it…make you happy if I put it on?” she said softly.

“Mmmhmm,” Jack breathed as he nosed at her hair. 

Rei sighed. “Alright, fine. But I’m not wearing it outside your office.”

“We’ll see about that,” he murmured in her ear.

She pulled the collar from the pocket of her lab coat and placed it around her neck, feeling Jack’s hands come up to fasten it for her.

“See, baby? You look so sexy wearing it,” he said, pointing to her reflection in the window. “Don’t you want to be my kitten? I miss having you on my heels all the time, like a cute little pet,” he whispered in a husky, honeyed voice. He nuzzled his face into her neck, the smooth texture of his mask gliding against her skin.

This was…wrong. This was a very different version of Jack than Rei was used to. He was far gentler than normal Jack, tender even. Rei had seen flashes of this Jack when they were lying tangled up in one another in a post-coital haze, but it was always brief; usually it was just the soft stroking of the curve of her hip or a quick, gentle kiss.

“What, uh… what’s going on with you?” she asked tentatively.

“Hmm? Nothing. Just tired.”

“You seem…I don’t know…kind of sad?” she mumbled awkwardly.

Jack was quiet for long enough that Rei began to wonder if she had said the wrong thing. Suddenly, he spoke.

“It’s the anniversary of my wife’s death,” he said quietly.

“You had a wife?” 

“I had a family. That was almost twenty years ago.”

Rei was shocked into silence. This wasn’t what she had expected at all, and now she didn’t know how to comfort him. Frustration, anger, even murderous rage over something gone wrong or some perceived slight was one thing, but grief and genuine sadness were totally new emotions for Jack. Rei felt it was almost too intimate that he was sharing them with her, as they had, after all, only known each other for a little over a month. It felt like Jack kept hurtling towards intimacy, then pulling back sharply, and hurtling forward again. Rei wasn’t sure which she preferred yet.

She desperately searched for the right thing to say, but instead found herself asking, “What happened to them?”

She felt Jack’s body stiffen beneath her as his hands gripped the armrests, knuckles white. That was definitely the wrong thing to say, so she did the one thing she knew how to do best; cover the problem with a psychoactive chemical band-aid.

“Uh, forget I asked. Here, I whipped you up a little something,” she said quickly.

Rei fished in her pocket and brought out a small baggy of bright purple powder. She had assumed that going to see Jack with the collar would lead to some fun office sex, so she had brought a sample of her latest experiment to make things even more interesting. 

“What’s that?” 

“Concentrated Eridium extract. This shit with knock your socks off.”

“Oooh, kitten, you’re the best,” he purred, spinning the chair around to face the desk.

“I’ll do ya one better,” she said, relieved that her distraction seemed to be working. She began unbuttoning her black chiffon button down, Jack watching her hungrily. Rei hopped up on the edge of his desk, leaning back on her arms, and sprinkled some of the Eridium powder across the subtle curve of her breasts above her black bra. Jack grinned broadly, reaching into his pocket and pulling a bill from his wallet, rolling it into a tube.

“A hundred dollar bill, Jack? Really?” Rei sighed, rolling her eyes at his typical display of opulence. 

“If we’re gonna act like trash, might as well show a little class,” he chuckled, leaning in.

“That’s not classy, that’s just- ah, that tickles!” she said, laughing as he snorted the powder from her chest.

He leaned back in his chair, eyes closed and head tilted back. Jack sighed deeply.

“Wow. You weren’t kidding. That feels amazing.”

“I know,” she said with a cocky grin. Rei opened the bag again and was about to pour a line onto Jack’s desk when he put a hand on her wrist to stop her.

“Well this is an interesting side effect…” He gestured to the slight bulge under his zipper. Rei had noticed the slight aphrodisiac effects of the drug before, but it had been less pronounced in herself. She was pleased that this batch seemed to be fairly potent.

Jack unzipped his pants, pulling out his cock. He began to stroke himself to full hardness, motioning for Rei to hand him the baggie.

“You don’t want me to …”

“Oh, but I do,” he said deviously. He took his now fully erect member and held it horizontally while sprinkling a line of Eridium onto the flushed, velvety skin. “Have at it, pumpkin.”

Rei shrugged, but the grin didn’t leave her face. If she said this was the first time she had snorted drugs off a hard cock, she’d be lying. Pandora was a hell of a planet. 

She slid off the desk and sank to her knees between Jack’s legs, leaning over his dick. She lowered her head, rolled up bill in hand, and inhaled the powder, wincing slightly at the burning sensation in her nasal cavity. Rei sat back on her heels, eyes closed, feeling a rush of endorphins and a surge of intense, buzzing energy shoot through her nervous system, mixed with a sort of ethereal, soothing calmness. The closest thing she could compare it to was cocaine mixed with a mild dose of Ketamine, but that didn’t really do it justice.

Jack cackled, petting the top of her head gently. She leaned forward and licked a warm, wet stripe from the base of his cock to the tip, swirling her tongue ring around the head. 

“Thaaat’s it, kitten. You know just how to cheer me up, don’t you?”

“Not really. We just happen to like the same things,” she said, smirking up at him.

The sex was far more gentle than she had expected. Jack had pulled her up onto the desk and wrapped her legs around his waist, thrusting into her slowly and deeply while burying his face in her neck. He slipped a couple fingers under the collar, lightly pulling it down to press on her windpipe from time to time, but not much more than that. Rei knew that as soon as he returned to his normal self, Jack would have that collar in vice like grip, twisting and pulling and forcing her in whatever direction he wanted her to go, but the change of pace was nice. 

After a mind-blowing orgasm, and once they had finally disentangled themselves from one another, they sat, Rei swinging her legs off the edge of his desk in her open button down and a thong, Jack in just a pair of jeans and settled back in his chair, both watching the moon once more. 

“So if we ever find that vault key…” she began.

“Yeah?”

“One of us might be able to charge it using this stuff. I’m so close to a breakthrough…I _know_ that Sirens can’t be the only ones who can do it, otherwise they wouldn’t need all that Eridium, right? It’s got to be something about the Eridium itself. I just need to figure out what.”

Jack stared at her in surprise. “There’s… no, there’s just no way. Are you sure? Don’t get my hopes up, here. All my other scientists have only ever told me that Sirens are the sole option. So much time, money, and energy sunk into that…Seriously, are you sure?” he asked incredulously.

“No, I’m not sure. But it’s a possibility. We haven’t done a lot of testing on normal humans that was meant to leave the subject, uh… _intact_. Hence the Psychos. But there’s so much more we can do with Eridium besides getting high, torturing people, and enhancing Sirens. It’s a shame Hyperion got so stuck on that.”

“How long have you been at Hyperion?”

“I don’t know. About five years.”

“And I’m just hearing this now because…”

“Because up until recently, I was just a lab researcher, and, only within the last year and a half, a lead researcher. No one ever listened to me before.”

“Well they’re going to listen to you now, kitten. Orders from the top. I want this theory explored to the fullest.”

“You got, it boss.”

Rei decided to save her vengeance on Vasquez for another time, opting instead to just enjoy this strangely gentle version of Jack for just a bit longer.


	10. Creeping Shadows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if you guys have had the pleasure of playing Moxxi's Heist of the Handsome Jackpot dlc, but if you have, enjoy the Easter eggs I left for ya in this chapter, among other things :D

Over the next week, Jack’s gloomy mood turned sour. He had taken to storming around the headquarters, almost as if he was looking for trouble, employees skittering around him in an attempt to stay out of his way. Even his business executive fan-boys, who normally trailed after him, doting on him and asking for autographs, were giving him a wide berth.

Jack had also developed the odd habit of occasionally popping up where ever Rei happened to be, demanding her attention like a petulant child. She’d be minding her own business in the Hall of Helios, drinking a coffee and reading something on her Echo, and in would stomp Jack, plopping down next to her noisily, scaring away anyone nearby. Or Rei would be walking down the hallway, turn a corner, and there he’d be again, striding toward her, a cigarette behind his ear, insisting she come have a smoke with him.

Today he just so happened to turn up while she was eating lunch with a fellow researcher in the Hub of Heroism, leaning against his own larger than life golden statue, watching her from across the room. Her colleague became so uncomfortable under Jack’s piercing stare that she invented an emergency meeting she suddenly had to rush off to. Rei, frustrated and confused as to why Jack was lurking instead of approaching her, had stormed over to him, glaring up at his chiseled features.

“Jack, what the hell are you up to? You can’t just follow me around and glare at people, it’s weird and it's freaking everyone out,” she complained.

“Just waiting for you to finish eating, kitten. I’ve got something to show you,” he said, picking at his fingernails disinterestedly.

“How are you able to find me all the time?” she demanded.

Jack looked down at her for a few moments, nonplussed. Then he broke out into a raucous peel of laughter.

“Are you seriously asking how the _CEO of Hyperion_ is able to track you on his own goddamn space station? Do you have any idea how many surveillance cameras I have around this place? I only have to say your name and the facial recognition AI will find you _like that_ ,” he said, snapping his fingers and chuckling. “I have eyes and ears everywhere, sweetheart.”

“You know you don’t have to stalk me, right? You could just message me if you want to see me.” said Rei in irritation.

“I don’t have to, no. But it’s been a slow week,” he said, grinning at her toothily. “So do you want to see this or not?” 

“See what? Dammit, Jack, what is with you lately- HEY!” Rei yelped as Jack bent down and hoisted her over his shoulder. She struggled for a moment, then gave up.

“Well this is dignified…” she griped, thankful that most of the other employees had cleared out the moment Jack had appeared.

“Too much talking, not enough walking,” he said with a shrug.

He insisted on carrying her, much to Rei’s annoyance, until they reached the loading dock, his reason being, _“I like this view of your ass, cupcake.”_ When he finally set her down, she found herself in front of four gagged bandits, bound by ropes wound around their torsos, forcing them to sit back to back on the floor. Rhys leaned against a docked ship nearby, apparently absorbed in something on his Echo.

“Um… what is this?” Rei asked, taken off guard.

“My vault hunters brought you some test subjects, pumpkin! Doesn’t that just make your whole friggin’ day?” he crowed, smiling at her proudly.

“This is…actually really helpful. Wow. Thanks.”

“Plenty more where that came from, doll,” said Jack, swooping down to give her an unexpected kiss on the cheek. She shrugged him off, a look somewhere between confusion and annoyance on her face.

“You’ve been acting really weird lately, you know that? So where did you find these little shits?” she asked, circling the bandits like a spider examining prey ensnared in its web.

“Rhysie said they were somewhere out in The Dust, trying to blow up one of our drills and shooting down our men.”

“Is that so? No reason to hold back, then, right?” she said, crouching down and examining one of the bandit’s faces, gripping his chin and pulling it from one side to the other. She gave him a couple pats on the cheek that were far closer to slaps.

“Oh there’s never been a reason to hold back, kitten,” said Jack, a wolfish grin spreading across his face.

“Good. Well for my first experiment…” She trailed off as she pulled her gun from its holster. She shoved it into the left side of the bandit’s chest and pulled the trigger. “Let’s see if Eridium can raise the dead,” she mused, her tone pitch black. She watched intently while the bandit gasped, twitched, and bled out all over his companions.

“Woah, kitten, you think I’ve been acting weird? That was downright creepy. Is it weird if I’m turned on right now? Is anyone else? No? Looks like a ‘maybe’ from Rhysie...” said Jack, cackling.

Rhys was now watching the pair of them, a look of deep concern on his face.

“Well that was super fucked up. You serious with that crap, Rei?” he asked tensely.

“Sure. They brought me more bandits than I needed, so I figured, why not try? Want to help me get these three guys and their new flesh paperweight down to R&D?”

“Ugh. Gross. Whatever,” said Rhys, snapping his fingers in the air. Almost instantly, two Hyperion soldiers appeared on either side of the bandits and lifted them off the ground.

“Well, I’ll leave you kids to it. Come by my office in a bit, I’ve got something even better to show you,” Jack said cheerfully.

“Are you being obnoxious and making an innuendo, or…” Rei trailed off, eyes narrowed.

“Nope. No jokes. I really do have something awesome to show ya.”

“Hmm. Ok,” she said, shrugging and following Rhys and the two soldiers to the elevator. 

Once the bandits were situated in specimen suspension tanks, Rei pulled a small bottle of expensive whiskey out of her desk and poured a shot for Rhys and herself.

“You and Jack drink a ton. I guess it’s like a requirement when you’re important around here, huh?” he remarked coldly.

“Consider it a thank you for making my job a little easier,” said Rei breezily, ignoring his snark.

“All I did was ask the vault hunters to send you up a few bandits, they did they rest.”

“Well I still appreciate it,” she said, throwing back her drink. Rhys didn’t touch his own, but rather sat staring at it, brows knitted. They sat in silence for a few long moments.

“Great, Jack’s finally in a good mood, so now _you’re_ going to start acting weird? What is up with everyone this week? Did all of our periods sync up or something?” she teased. Rei had intended it to sound light hearted, but her frustration had slipped through. 

Rhys looked up at her, his expression tense and questioning.

“You sound just like him.”

“Just like who?” she asked, already knowing the answer. 

“I’m worried about you, Rei,” said Rhys softly. “The worst parts of Jack seem to be rubbing off on you. It’s like your demeanor has been getting…I don’t know…. _darker_.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, I'm the same as I ever was. The only difference is that now, with Jack wrapped around my finger, I can do pretty much whatever I want. Who’s gonna stop me, you?” she snapped, pouring herself another drink. 

“You sound just like him, you drink just like him, you kill just like him… Your laugh even sounds like his. It’s goddamn disturbing,” muttered Rhys gloomily.

“Whatever. I don’t need a lecture from a kid who refuses to get a little blood on his hands to get ahead. You want to be Jack’s protégé? That’s what it takes. I fought my way up and I refuse to go back to living just to survive, constantly looking over my shoulder. If heads have to roll to make that happen, so be it.” She angrily knocked back her second whiskey The words had come out meaner than she had intended, but she stubbornly sat in the uncomfortable silence and watched Rhys’ crestfallen face.

“I liked you, Rei. I thought you’d be able to resist him, not let him warp you the way he does with everyone else. I guess I was wrong.”

“I’ve seen you chase after him like an obedient puppy, don’t act like you’re immune to all that wealth and power and swagger. You idolize him.”

“I do, but I also don’t go around casually killing and torturing people for him like some puppet on a string.`” he hissed.

“Bandits aren’t people.”

“FOR FUCK’S SAKE!” he roared, lunging across the desk and grabbing her by the front of her shirt.

He roughly pulled her into a slow, forceful kiss. Rhys wound his hand in her hair, pressing their faces together in needy desperation as he swiped his tongue across her lips. She instinctively opened her mouth, letting him deepen the kiss, moaning as his tongue flicked over her piercing. He pulled her up onto the desk until she was sitting in front of him, legs dangling on either side of his hips. Rhys lowered his hands to Rei’s ass, squeezing it roughly, and pressing her closer so their hips were flush. Rei leaned back on her hands and began to lazily grind her hips into him, feeling his growing hardness hot between her legs. Suddenly he stopped and pulled away, cupping her face with both hands, staring intensely into her eyes.

“You’re not Jack. Snap out of it,” he whispered forcefully. Rhys turned on his heel and stormed out. 

Rei grabbed his untouched drink, breathing heavily, and drained it. What the hell had just happened, she had no idea, and she was admittedly a little shaken. She somehow felt…unfaithful to Jack, although she had no spoken obligation to be physically intimate with him, and only him. She was sure he’d go on a rampage if he found out about her little make out session with Rhys, though, killing one or both of them. Rei made a mental note to never, ever mention it again.

\--------

Rei arrived at Jack’s office a few hours later, a bit more buzzed than she had intended. She breezed up to Jack’s desk and hopped up, crossing one leg over the other and swinging it gently back and forth. She leaned back on her hands and looked down at the man sitting in front of the desk, then froze.

“There’s two of you,” she said in amazement, looking over her should at Jack.

“There’s only one Handsome Jack, baby. But Timmy has some of my DNA and everything, so he’s almost Jack.”

“But…how?”

“I made him,” said Jack, grinning smugly.

“Heh, come on now, Jack, you didn’t actually _make_ me. I’m part of the doppelganger program, Hyperion modified my, uh… well literally my everything to be a perfect copy of Jack.”

“Everything…?” Rei trailed off, cocking her head to one side and eyeing Timmy’s crotch. He blushed and looked up at the ceiling.

“Hey, focus, kiddo. You’ve got the real deal behind you, come ‘ere,” said Jack impatiently, snapping his fingers at her. She giggled.

“Don’t be jealous,” Rei purred, perching on the armrest of Jack’s chair, throwing an arm over his shoulders and resting her head on top of his. “So this is the awesome thing you wanted to show me? Your body double? I mean, he’s cute and all, and belieeeeve me, I _will_ find a way to end up sandwiched between the two of you, but…wait, is that what we’re doin’ here?” she said, leering eagerly at Timmy.

“Aw, kitten, quit torturing poor TimTam, he’s just…” Jack sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, eyes screwed shut, _”So fricken bad at talking to girls.”_

“Shut up, no I’m not! I’ve taken Moxxi out in your place and she couldn’t even tell the difference!” Timmy protested.

“She didn’t believe you were me for a second, kiddo, and believe me, I heard about it later,”

“...not even for a second?”

“Not even for a second.”

“If you ladies are done bickering, can someone please tell me why I’m here?” asked Rei, growing impatient. All her alcohol soaked brain wanted her to do was jump Jack’s bones and try to release some of sexual frustration built up from the incident with Rhys earlier.

“Calm down, kitten, I’ll show ya,” said Jack, tapping the screen of a tablet.

A hologram sprung from the screen and hovered in midair, rotating slowly. It was an enormous orbiting casino built into its own space station, resembling a cross between the Taj Mahal and Helios. A huge, red neon sign surrounded by hundreds of big, round, flashing white bulbs hovered over the entrance, proudly announcing the structure as “The Handsome Jackpot”. 

“This is yours?” asked Rei, watching the floating casino.

“All mine, baby. All mine and already underway! I’m fast tracking this project because it’s gonna make me _billions_. And TimTams here is going to run it for me, ain’t that right, pumpkin?”

“Yes, Jack,” said Timmy wearily.

“Ohh, so that’s why you’re in such a good mood, huh?” said Rei, ruffling his hair. Jack raised an eyebrow at her and smoothed his hair back into place.

“You got it, kiddo. This is gonna be fricken fantastic for all of us. Hell, you two might even be able to afford to move into the same building as _me_ by the end of the year,” he mused cheerfully.

“You could just pay us more…” Rei teased, poking his broad chest playfully.

“I pay you numbskulls plenty. Helios is just expensive. Why? Because I designed it that way! Hah!” Jack broke into a fit of derisive laughter.

Suddenly he threw an arm around Rei’s waist and pulled her into his lap, throwing her legs over the armrest. He brought his face so close to hers that their noses were almost touching and she could see his pupils dilating like a predator about to pounce. 

“This is going to change your life, kitten. You have no idea how lucky you are,” he growled softly.

“Uhh… this is getting weird, so uh… I’m gonna go? Yeah, I’m gonna go,” Timmy mumbled awkwardly as he got up to leave.

“Your loss, kiddo,” breathed Jack without looking up.

Jack had his hand up Rei’s shirt even before the door slid shut. He kissed her aggressively, forcing his tongue into her mouth and growling deep in his throat. Rei sighed happily, knowing that she was about to get exactly what she needed.


	11. Best (Worst) Face Forward*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaand we've got Rhack!

Unfortunately, Jack’s good cheer didn’t last. Rhys had noticed Jack’s mood turn sour after Rei left to spend a week on Pandora to collect more samples or whatever the hell she got up to down there. If truth be told, things just weren’t going Jack’s way this week, leaving him sulky and agitated. August had reported back that Vallory was refusing a meeting, suggesting that he offer her a bribe. Jack had balked at the idea of bribing the woman to talk to him about negotiations to pay her off _yet again_. What was she trying to do, make fool out of ol’ Handsome Jack? Refuse his offer to pay off Rei’s debts, then go around bragging that she had still squeezed money out of him anyway? No. Not in this lifetime, she wouldn’t. 

“You’re puttin' us in a real tough spot here, especially Val. She sees your operation growing all over Pandora, but she’s not getting a dime, and to add insult to injury, you made her arch enemy your top dog. Oh, and you’re fuckin’ her, and dressin' her up all nice, and plastering her damn face all around Pandora. You see the problem, here? You see how Val might be a little offended?” August’s crackly voice had asked over the Echo comm. 

“Who I’m fucking is irrelevant to Hyperion business. Tell Val to get over it, jealousy is a bad look on her. If it’s really a piece of ‘ol Jack that she’s after… Well, I could arrange something with one of my doubles. I could arrange something with four of my doubles in a private VIP suite if she can hold on to her panties long enough for my casino to be finished,” said Jack flippantly.

“Fuck, Jack, come on, man, that’s my goddamn mom. Anyway, you’ve got to cut her in somehow or she’ll never leave you alone.”

“She didn’t deliver on her end, kiddo. She was going to get paid once you delivered that vault key, plus I offered her a defense contract for my residential development, Opportunity, like we discussed. She fucked that one up herself. I guess it’s hard to be a business woman and a total bitch at the same time. “

“Come on, man, quit talking about my mom like that before you _really_ piss me off,” growled August.

“Yeah, you know what? Forget it, kid. Our deal is on hiatus until further notice. My people will stay out of your way if you stay out of ours. Sound fair?”

August was quiet for a moment.

“Whatever, Jack. I’ll pass the message along, but she’s going to see this a declaration of war,” grumbled August.

“Eh, consider it more like being benched until your organization can get its priorities straight. Money, pumpkin. That’s what this is all about. Money and power, and not petty, Pandoran trash-gang squabbles. So no more wasting my time, eh? When you’re ready to roll with the big boys, you know how to reach me,” Jack drawled lazily.

August’s hologram glared silently.

“Ok then, cupcake, we’ll be in touch. Ciao.” Jack ended the call before August could respond.

Jack groaned and slammed his fist down on the desk. His biggest asset had also turned out to be his biggest liability, and he should have seen this coming from the start. He had known Rei was trouble ever since he had unencrypted her little drug dealings on his private server. But that was also why he had been so eager to build an alliance with her. He needed someone with a shadow almost dark as his own, someone who would do anything to keep from being swallowed up by their past. He needed someone similar to himself, and Rei had slipped into that role with ease. Jack rubbed his temples with his finger tips and hit the intercom button on his desk.

“Need something, Jack?” asked Rhys.

“Coffee, black, three sugars,” he grunted.

“Sure thing.”

Rhys sidled up to his desk ten minutes later, gently placing his coffee order in front of him. Jack said nothing, just pulled a bottle of rum from his desk and splashed a generous amount into his drink.

“Everything ok, Jack? Do you need help with anything? Maybe just some company…” asked Rhys cautiously.

“I’m not fuckin’ lonely, I’M JUST HORNY!!” roared Jack. It was partially true, but that wasn’t the only way in which he was frustrated at the moment, it was just the one that happened to be bothering him the most after the disappointing day he’d had. 

“Do you want me to have someone sent over from the entertainment district?” Rhys asked tentatively.

“No,” said Jack flatly. For once, he wasn’t interested in sleeping with escorts or strippers, although he wasn’t sure why. 

“Uhh…then how can I help, sir?” asked Rhys, slipping back into his habit of being formal with Jack whenever he felt he was treading into dangerous territory. 

Jack stared at him wonderingly for a moment, the cogs in his mind clearly turning as he toyed with one devious idea or another.

“Come ‘ere,” he ordered, curling a finger towards Rhys. He rounded Jack’s desk and stood in front of his chair, looking at him curiously. 

“Down,” he snapped his fingers and pointed at the floor between his wide spread legs.

“Um…what?” said Rhys, taken aback.

“ _Down_. If you want to help, get on your knees, kiddo,” he growled.

Rhys slowly lowered himself to the floor, looking questioningly up at him. Jack started to undo his belt. 

“Sir…” Rhys said in nervous whisper, heart racing. There was no way what he thought was about to happen was _actually_ going to happen. He had lain awake plenty of nights, jerking himself off to the thought of getting fucked by Jack, and once Rei had joined the inner circle, he’d fantasized about both them having their way with him simultaneously. Jack may be the oversexed, darkly kinky, domineering ladies man, but Rhys had an appetite and a few kinks of his own. 

“Relax, cupcake. I’ll take it easy on ya.”

“But I thought… I mean, you’ve never…been interested before…”

“Aw, Rhysie, you’re too cute. Dudes aren’t really my thing, but I’ve been around, and that face of yours is so pretty. Besides, Rei won’t mind, she likes you.”

Rhys raised an eyebrow. That was the closest thing to exclusivity between himself and Rei that Jack had ever admitted.

“Not that it matters,” said Jack quickly, a slight hint of embarrassment in his voice. 

“So…you want me…to blow you?”

Jack grinned wolfishly down at him, sliding his pants down to his hips. No underwear to be found, of course.

“If you want to. But I can read you like a book, Rhysie. You want to. You’ve always wanted to,” he purred, now stroking his half mast cock. Rhys swallowed hard.

“Yeah…I do…” he whispered, feeling his own arousal growing. His idol wanted to fuck him. Face fuck him, it was true, but it was a start. 

“Good boy. Why don’t you get to it so I can get back to work?” cooed Jack, grabbing the back of Rhys’ head and pushing him forward into his lap.

Rhys put a hand on either of Jack’s thighs and lowered his head, brushing his lips across the tip of his member. Jack sighed and gripped the armrests of his chair, leaning back and letting his eyes drift shut. Rhys gripped the base of Jack’s cock with his flesh hand and guided the tip into his mouth, sinking down slowly. He began to bob his head, pumping Jack’s dick with his hand as it became slick with spit. Jack groaned heatedly.

“God damn, Rhysie, why are you so good at this? I bet you suck a lot of cock. I bet you’re a real slut, ain’t that right, kiddo? You’ve just been blowing guys left and right, hoping that one day you’d be able to get your mouth on your hero, Handsome Jack, right Rhysie?” he sneered.

“Mmmm,” Rhys made a humming noise in the back of his throat, enjoying how Jack was as much of a dirty talker in reality as he was in his fantasies. Jack bucked his hips and groaned at the vibration, forcing himself deeper into Rhys’ throat.

“ _Fuck_ , hold still,” Jack hissed, grabbing both sides of Rhy’s head, digging his fingers into his hair and pulling. He began thrusting into Rhys’ mouth at a punishing pace, leaving him drooling down his cock and gasping for breath.

It wasn’t long before Jack was cumming down Rhys’ throat in hot, thick spurts, moaning and cursing above him, still thrusting until the very end. Rhys swallowed the best he could, some of the sticky liquid dripping from his mouth onto the carpet. He finally let go of Rhys’ hair and slumped back in his chair, his broad chest rising and falling rapidly with heavy breaths. Rhys wiped his mouth on the back of his hand and shakily stood, also panting. 

“….better?” he asked timidly.

“Much. I might need to make this a regular thing,” murmured Jack, the agitation finally gone from his face.

It was at that moment that Rhys’ comm lit up, chiming to indicate an incoming call. Rhys smoothed his hair back into place, adjusted the bulge in his pants, and answered. 

“Yes?” he said, trying to act casual.

“Mr. Strongfork, sir?” said the panicked, breathless voice of a Hyperion guard, his image flickering to life as a hologram. “We need you at the shuttle terminal. Dr. Barrett’s ship just docked and she and her companion have some serious injuries. There’s a lot of blood… She’s asking for you.”

“I’ll be right there. Call the medics and try to get them stabilized,” he said, turning on his heel and bolting for the door. Much to his surprise, he heard Jack’s footsteps behind him, hot on his trail.

“Maybe you should wait here, Jack. I don’t know what the situation is. You…you might not want to see this,” he said worriedly over his shoulder.

“For fuck’s sake, kid, what kind of pansy-ass girl scout do you take me for?” Jack snarled, easily overtaking him and leading the rest of the way to the elevator.

They arrived at the dock in record time to find a small crowd of shuttle bay workers and security guards gathered around the third docking port. 

“MOVE!” Jack roared, the crowd parting before him, some bolting off into the distance.

Just outside the door of the shuttle sat Rei, propped up against the doorway, and Wilhelm, unconscious and sprawled on the ground with his upper torso laying across her lap. Blood poured from a diagonal gash across Rei’s face, while Wilhelm was bleeding profusely from a wound where his lower arm used to be, and from several bullet wounds in his torso. Both looked bruised and battered, although Wilhelm seemed to have taken the brunt of the beating. Rei’s eyes flicked over to Jack and she groaned. 

“Why are you here?” she mumbled, blood dripping down her face and dribbling over her mouth. “Told them…told them only to tell…” She tried to finish her sentence in vain, only managing to wince and shudder. 

“ _What… the fuck… happened?_ ” said Jack in the most menacing whisper Rhys had ever heard. Jack bent down and wiped the blood from her mouth with the back of his hand.

“Ambush… we were ambushed... they bombed the lab,” muttered Rei shakily.

“ _Who? Who did that?_ ” hissed Jack.

“Lilith…the Crimson Raiders,” she forced out with a grimace. 

Jack hurled a punch into the side of the shuttle with a resounding bang, leaving a noticeable dent.

“THAT BITCH! I’M GONNA KILL HER! I’M GONNA FUCKING KILL HER!!” he screamed at the top of his lungs, continuing to smash his fists into the shuttle. The small circle of employees scattered, all trying to avoid being Jack’s next punching bag.

“JACK! You’ve got to calm down. Let the medics do their job,” pleaded Rhys, standing as close to Jack as he dared.

Jack stared furiously at the terrified medics slowly approaching with a stretcher.

“ _Fine_ ,” he snarled, stepping back a few paces and folding his arms over his chest.

“I’m ok, it looks worse than it is,” mumbled Rei, trying shakily to stand as the medics pulled Wilhelm off her. Jack swooped in and grabbed her around the waist, holding her upright.

“Let them take you to the sick bay, kitten, you’re bleeding all over the place,” he murmured in her ear.

“It’s just my face, I can handle it. Wil is in much worse shape; I don’t know if he’ll make it. Let the trauma team take him first, I can handle myself for a while.”

“Kitten…”

“Just gimme something to stop the bleeding and take me to my lab, I know what I’m doing, for fuck’s sake!” she snapped.

Jack and Rhys shared a nervous glance, but Jack obliged. Jack tore strip off his own overly long shirt tail and pressed it to her face. Rei yelped, but didn’t struggle. Jack bent down to scoop Rei into his arms, but she threw out an arm to stop him.

“My face is fucked up, but I can walk just fine,” she said, stomping off uncoordinatedly towards the elevator.

“She’s worse than you. Remember this next time we try to patch you up after a fight,” hissed Rhys in Jack’s ear. Jack glared at him, but said nothing, knowing he was right. 

Jack gingerly escorted her, Rhys on their heels. Once they reached her lab in the R&D department, she dropped into the chair behind her desk like a ton of bricks, breathing heavily. She pulled a first aid kit, a syringe and a bottle of purple liquid, and her prized bottle of expensive whiskey out of her desk.

She unscrewed the cap off the whiskey bottle carelessly, letting it fall to the ground and roll away. Rei tipped the bottle to her mouth and chugged a good two to three shots before setting it down, breathing heavily. Then she popped open the first aid kit and pulled out a medical needle and thread.

“Oh god, you’re not going to… to yourself?” Rhys said, an obvious note of panic in his voice.

“That’s exactly what I’m doing, cowboy, so nut up or get out,” she replied harshly. 

She flipped on the self-facing camera of her Echo, drawing a few milliliters of the purple liquid into the syringe before taking a deep breath.

“I haven’t exactly tested this formulation of Eridium on humans yet, but if there was ever a time…”

“What? Hey-HEY, STOP!” yelled Jack. 

He was too late, as Rei had already inserted the syringe into her own face and depressed the plunger. 

“Oh…oh my god, I-,” Rhys gagged.

“What the hell was that” asked Jack, clearly shaken.

“Eridium extract, the same shit I’ve been messing with for a while. It can decrease healing time by 75%. Told you it had other uses.,” she said, leaning back into her chair and breathing deeply. She started to prep the needle and thread.

“Ok. Ooooooh-kaaaay, I can’t watch this. I gotta go- call me when shit gets messy and you need the medics to come get you, ok Rei? Ah, shit, honestly…” Rhys said quickly, turning and hurrying for the door.

“He’s got kind of a weak stomach, huh?” she asked, unperturbed.

“Yeah, Rhysie is still a sweet, delicate little thing. Take it easy on him, eh? And let me help,” said Jack, crouching down next to her chair.

“Yeah? I mean, can you?” she asked.

“I’ve learned how to patch myself up over the years, so yeah. Gimme,” he demanded, taking the needle from her hands. “You can’t feel this?” he asked, cautiously.

“Barely. I’m so numb that there’s no way you can hurt me, don’t worry. I might heal faster than you can stitch me up at this point, so chop-chop, sweetheart.”

Jack raised an eyebrow at the pet name that normally came from his own mouth, but began stitching up the wound. Rei had two separate gashes, one between her eyes, slightly to the left, and one down the bridge of her nose, slightly to the right.

“It’s going to scar, isn’t it? I can already tell. Time for some new arm candy, eh?” she joked half-heartedly.

“This is nothing. It’ll probably look like a scratch when it heals,” said Jack softly, gently pulling the needle in and out. Rei watched in the screen of her Echo, her expression growing agitated.

“I look like a monster. Fucking shrapnel,” she said angrily, her eyes growing misty as she traced the thick black stiches in her face.

“Kitten, all things considered, you got off lucky. Look at poor Wil, they blew off the guy’s goddamn arm. I mean, I doubt he’ll be too upset about having to get another cybernetic, but still. You should thank your sweet ass that you’ve only got a scar, if that.” 

“Yeah, yeah, easy for you to say. A big part of the reason I shot up the corporate ladder here is because you thought I was pretty, admit it,” she grumbled, tipping back more whiskey.

“Hey, I never denied it. I’m a sucker for a pretty face and a bad attitude, what can I say? But you know why I kept you around after all the friggen problems you caused me? Because you’re good at your job and not total idiot most of the time. I could slap a lab coat and a pair of boots on any tight piece of ass if I was just out to get my rocks off, but you, cupcake, are actually pretty indispensable.”

“Hmmm. Right,” she muttered, continuing to sulk. Jack pressed two fingers to his temple and sighed.

“Kitten, haven’t you ever wondered why I wear a mask of my own damn face?”

Rei was startled into silence for a moment. Jack never talked about his mask.

“Uhh… Because you’re an eccentric space trillionaire who likes fucking with people?”

“While technically true, that ain’t it. I have a scar…much worse than yours will ever be. Much worse than any scar you will ever get over the course of your lifetime. Do you want to see what a real monster looks like?” he asked quietly.

Rei had never heard Jack talk about himself without the boasting, bragging swagger, let alone call himself anything close to a monster. It was thoroughly disconcerting.

“Show me…” she whispered, looking down at him with wide eyes.

He stood and perched against the edge of the desk next to her, pulling the whiskey bottle from her hands. Jack took a long sip before setting the bottle down and sighing, then began fiddling with the metal clasps at the edges of his mask. He popped them open slowly, his head lowered, avoiding Rei’s intensely curious gaze. Jack pulled the mask off and looked up at her. A deep, thick blue arch was branded into his skin, stretching over part of one cheek, peaking between his eyes, and slicing down the other cheek across what used to be his green eye, the injury having turned it milky white. Rei let out a long, low whistle.

“That’s right, kitten. And, funny coincidence, this is that cunt Lilith’s fault, too,” he said bitterly.

“How did she even…. Why is that bitch still alive?” asked Rei softly.

“Because she’s a slimy little siren taint that’s got damn near all of Pandora watching her back. So. Now you know what a real monster looks like.”

“I mean, that’s a wicked scar, I’m not going to bullshit you. But you’re no monster… you’re still really handsome, believe it or not,” she said, with a mischievous grin, cupping his chin.

“Oh I know. So you feel better, now?” he said, smirking slightly.

“A bit. I won’t be happy until Lilith’s throat is under my boot, though.” Rei leaned in and kissed Jack gently, stroking his cheek.

“Oof, watch the dirty talk or I might have to throw you on the desk and fuck you right here, kitten,” he murmured, burying his hands in her hair and kissing her back aggressively. 

“ _Ahem_ , sorry to interrupt this touching moment, but uh… you’ve got a call, Jack. It’s Vallory,” said Rhys, standing in the doorway, expression cold. 

“The fuck does that bitch want,” Jack said venomously, quickly reattaching his mask before looking up at Rhys.

“To _chat_ , apparently. I’ve got her on channel one on my Echo.”

“Give it here.”

Rhys handed over his Echo and Jack opened the call. The tall, sturdy hologram of a large chested woman in her fifties sprang to life, hovering above the screen.

“Jack,” purred Vallory in a deep, sickly sweet voice.

“So you want to talk now, eh, Val?” he sneered.

“Just wanted to make sure you got my gift,” she said coyly.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” he growled.

“I left both your lap dogs alive, didn’t I?”

“From what I heard, you weren’t involved in this ambush.”

“Not directly, no. But aren’t you curious how the Crimson Raiders knew who to target and where?”

“You…are working with the Crimson Raiders? I’m supposed to believe that Pandora’s big bad crime boss is allied with the bandit Boy Scout brigade? Give me a break, sweetheart.”

“Not exactly, no. But our friend with the vault key has a few connections. One of them really fucking hates you, my dear. Enough to want to help me. Remember your vault hunter pal, Athena?” she said silkily.

“Haha, yeah, she really did fuckin’ hate me, didn’t she? Great. So Athena is your bitch and she’s feeding you intel, huh? She might not be so happy that you’re dropping her name all over the place, Val. You know this means I’m coming after both of you now, right?”

“That’s what I was hoping, yes, darling. I look forward to putting a bullet in that handsome chest of yours, Jack. Come pay me a visit.” 

“You can bet your sweet ass I will, cupcake. I’d get ready, if I were you.”

“Oh I think my boys can handle you just fine, Jack. We look forward to seeing you. You too, dear…” cooed the hologram, her eyes flicking over to Rei. The call disconnected and the hologram disappeared.

“So let me get this straight…” said Rei, screwing her eyes shut and tipping her head back. “Now, not only is Vallory’s gang trying to kill me _again_ , but you also have the Crimson Raiders after you, which, by association, also means they’re after me, along with the regular bandits trying to constantly murder us. Is there anyone on Pandora who _isn’t_ trying to kill you?”

“Hmm. No, probably not,” said Jack casually.

“Uh-huh. Ok. And this planet is worth the 90 percent increased chance of death because…”

“Vaults and Eridium, pumpkin. You should have been able to figure that one out.”

“There are other Eridium rich planets where no one has ever heard of you, ya know?”

“I doubt it. Everyone in the entire galaxy knows my name, baby. Besides, I’m trying to help _fix_ that trash heap. I’m going to restore order to Pandora, make that place a safe, livable haven for the common, Jack-respecting individual.”

“Or, more likely, you’re going to kill us all in the attempt,” griped Rei.

“Well let’s not jump the gun just yet, kitten. Alright, up you get,” he said, hoisting her out of her chair.

“Woah, woah, ease up there. I’m still a bit too roughed up and bloody to catch a shuttle home, just yet.”

“Nah, princess, you’re coming with me. Private elevator.”

“Excuse me, what?” she said incredulously.

“That’s right, you’re getting an inside look at where Handsome Jack lives. How lucky are you?”

“I don’t know if lucky is the correct word for it…” she mumbled, letting Jack lead her out of the lab.

\---------

Jack’s penthouse was unsurprisingly massive and ostentations, essentially a shrine to Jack himself. It reminded Rei a lot of his office, the same black, silver, and yellow color scheme, numerous floor to ceiling windows illuminated by millions of stars, plenty of black leather furniture, and, of course, a near life size portrait of Jack fighting a vault monster. The second they stepped foot in the door, Jack began pulling off Rei’s clothing.

“You serious? I’m standing here, battered and bleeding, and all you can think about is fucking me?” she said, pushing him away incredulously.

“While that really _is_ all I can think about most of the time, we need to get you checked out and cleaned up, cupcake. Bathroom, let’s go,” he said, leading her across the apartment by the wrist. A sharp pain shot up Rei’s arm at the touch and she flinched away from his grasp.

“Ow, shit!” she whined, clutching her bruised and swollen arm.

“Hmm…” mumbled Jack, picking up her arm tenderly and examining it. “You might have a fracture. I’ll wrap it for you and we can get you X-rayed in the morning, I’m gonna run you a bath, you’ve got so much blood in all that hair of yours, kitten.”

Jack brought her into the enormous black and white tiled bathroom and sat her down on the edge of the sleek black tub while he fiddled with the knobs. Once the tub began to fill, he returned to pulling Rei’s clothes off. She didn’t resist, instead leaning wearily on him in silence. Jack then put an arm around her waist and helped her into the water. She groaned as she sank down, then reached out and grabbed a handful of Jack’s shirt, tugging gently.

“Keep me company…” she said, almost shyly.

Jack raised an eyebrow in surprise. “Oh yeah? Ok kitten, hang on.”

He stripped down quickly and slipped in behind her, situating her in his lap. He began to gently scrub the dried blood from her face and arms with a cloth, the water around them slowly turning red.

“I bet this isn’t the first time you’ve bathed in someone else’s blood, eh, Jack?” she joked weakly.

“Nope. This is just the first time that it wasn’t on purpose,” he said, grinning against her ear. 

She laughed darkly and let him continue washing her, running his hands over the curves of her body, nuzzling her neck and tasting her wet skin. Jack was thoroughly enjoying himself and would have loved to guide her hips down onto his ever growing arousal, but he controlled himself, instead settling on letting his hands linger a little longer over her chest and upper thighs.

After he had her cleaned up, Jack scooped her out of the bath and wrapped her in a towel, carrying her to the living room and setting her down on a plush, black leather couch. He had some first aid supplies laid out on the coffee table, and made quick work of splinting and wrapping her wrist, then set about treating and bandaging her shrapnel wounds. 

“You were grazed by a few bullets, cupcake. How has that not been bothering you?” asked Jack, pulling down her towel and examining her back.

Rei shrugged. “Eridium is a hell of a drug. You know, Lilith herself had a bit of an Eridium habit back in college. Used to keep her hopped up on that shit so I could study the effects of Eridium on Sirens. She got free study drugs, I got a rare test subject and wrote an awesome thesis paper, graduated with honors… Things were fuckin’ good. You could even say we were close friends. Partied together often enough.” Rei sighed and slouched forward, resting her head in her hands. “But now, of course, she wants me dead for working with you. We’re gonna need to have a little chat about that.”

Jack dropped his old, yellow Hyperion sweater into her lap, frowning at her, lost in thought. 

“Just remember this is business, not family therapy. Lilith is going down whether you two reconcile or not. And I’d really prefer not, if I’m being honest. I won’t have you pitying her while I’m kicking the shit out of her. The bitch brought that on herself.”

Rei pulled on the sweater. “I think she probably hates me enough at this point that that won’t be a problem. I burned a lot of bridges before I left Pandora. I like to say I joined Hyperion for money and opportunity, but I also like to leave out the part about tangling with some powerful people and needing to join Hyperion to stay alive,” she said gloomily.

“You’re gonna be fine, pumpkin. I’m going to watch over you, kill Vallory, crush the Crimson Raiders, and then we can get our plans back on track, mmmk?” said Jack so casually that one might have thought he was going over an errand list.

“Hah, you make it sound so easy,” said Rei, curling up cat-like under his arm.

“Everything is easy when you’re Handsome Jack, kitten,” he purred, kissing the top of her head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments encouraged and appreciated!


	12. A Tenuous Olive Branch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was looking at someone's Tumblr, someone who is into a character that I like, but I wouldn't necessarily want to bang, and I thought to myself, _"I don't get it, but I respect it."_ Nobel Peace Prize, now please.  
>    
> Totally irrelevant, just thought I'd share <3 Anyway, here's a kind of short chapter because I've been struggling with some writer's block. Comments encouraged. No seriously, for the love of god, help me out here.

“JACK! JAAAAAAACK! Jack, Jack, Jack!!!” hollered Rei, tearing down the hallway of Hyperion’s top floor. Confused looking executives poked their heads out of their offices, curious as to why this scrappy lab rat was causing all this commotion, and with what balls. She skidded to a stop in front of Jack’s door and jabbed her keycard at the scanner, hurling herself into the room before the door was even fully open. 

Jack was seated at his desk, brow furrowed, deep in conversation with a large group of corporate looking types in slick black suits with Hyperion badges. Papers covered in numbers and graphs littered his desk, along with four or five empty cups of coffee. Jack looked up at Rei, dumbfounded, completely at a loss as to why she was interrupting his meeting and why she was _goddam shouting._

She bolted over to his desk and vaulted her self up, skittering to a stop squarely in the center of everything. Then she stood, stance wide, arms folded over her chest, much like Jack in his favorite pose for the paparazzi. 

“Dr. Barrett…kitten…. Have you lost your freaking mind?” he said quietly, looking up at her in utter amazement. She reached down and grabbed his face with both hands, grinning maniacally, eyes on fire. 

“ _Electricity, Jack! Electricity is the catalyst for Eridium’s elemental powers! The Siren tattoos conduct electricity!! I’M A GODDAMN GENIUS!!_ ” she squealed, barely able to contain herself. Jack laughed good naturedly, gently pulling her hands from his face.

Rei darted off the desk and bounced down the stairs to Jack’s bar, grabbed some vodka and took a shot straight from the bottle, then plopped down on a nearby black leather sofa. She looked cheerfully around at the crowd of silent men, all gawking. They appeared thoroughly taken aback, just waiting for Jack to lose his shit at this flippant little rat of an employee, in her ripped jeans and stained lab coat.

“Sorry boys, did I interrupt something?” she asked smarmily, grinning from ear to ear. 

“This is fantastic news, kitten, but yeah, I’m kind of in the middle of something with these jagweeds. Sit tight and we’ll talk in a few,” chuckled Jack.

“Jack, sir, how about I call someone to escort her out? Where’s good old Rhys when you need him?” said an all too familiar, all too irritating voice. 

Vasquez’s top-heavy frame slipped through the crowd, arms folded over his chest, glaring down at Rei.

“Heel, Ass-quez. Let ‘er be,” said Jack shortly.

“But sir, this is pretty sensitive information…”

“And your ass is gonna be pretty sensitive after I shove my boot up it. Now shut up and sit down.”

Vasquez blushed faintly but returned to his seat, silently fuming. Rei knew she’d pay for it later, but she couldn’t help throwing her own boots up on the coffee table and sneering.

“We’re going over some numbers and defense plans to rebuild your lab in Lynchwood, cupcake. Isn’t that fun?” Jack called out to her.

“Oooh, yay for me! Is this my lucky day or what?” she said, lacing her fingers behind her head.

“Sure is pumpkin, sure is.”

Rei tuned out as Jack turned his attention back to the executives gathered around his desk. She pulled out her Echo and began scrolling through the Helios Times. Pictures of Jack, stories about Hyperion…more pictures of Jack… Rei wasn’t sure how long she’d been reading before she felt the cushion next to her shift.

“Can’t get enough of me, huh?” said Jack, throwing an arm over the back of the sofa and plucking the Echo out of her hands. She looked up to find a sea of business suits filing out of the office, Vasquez among them. He caught her eye and quickly flipped her off. Rei grinned devilishly at him.

“More like can’t avoid you. You know that some primitive cultures believed having your photo taken would steal your soul? How’s it feel to be about negative five billion souls, buddy?”

“Goddamn amazing, kitten. Almost as good as…” he ducked his head to nip at her neck.

“Mmm… Ok, ok, before we get too distracted, here… I need something from you.”

“Oh yeah?” he said curiously, leaning back.

“I need a Siren to test my hypothesis on.”

“That’s a tall order, cupcake.”

“I know, I know. I mean, right now, I only actually need a biopsy of a Siren’s tattoo.”

“So you want me to…what? Go grab a Siren real quick, lop off an arm, and come back for the rest later?”

Rei rolled her eyes. “Obviously not. I’m just saying, if it makes things easier, we don’t need to capture a Siren right away. Snag her arm with a cheese grater or something, I don’t care, I just need a sample.”

Jack snorted with laughter. “As funny as that would be, I might be able to do ya one better than chasing a Siren around the galaxy with a cheese grater. We just need to wait until the Handsome Jackpot’s opening next month.”

“Ooh, what are you plotting? You’re the _most_ handsome when you’re scheming,” purred Rei, sliding onto his lap.

“The perfect trap, doll,” he said, gently tracing the subtle scar down the bridge of her nose.

“Care to explain?”

“Well let’s say you hand little ol’ Lilith an olive branch and set up a meeting. She’s not coming to Helios; that’s an obvious trap and certain death. You’re not going anywhere near the Crimson Raiders on Pandora because- spoiler alert- obvious trap, certain death. But if you invited her to the grand opening of the Handsome Jackpot as your VIP, well…that could go either way, couldn’t it? It’s probably a trap, but I won’t have the entire Hyperion army or all of Helios at my disposal, so if she wants a fair fight, that would be a pretty good opportunity. And I believe you mentioned that she’s a bit of a party girl, so the blow out of the century is going to be pretty tempting for her.”

“Well, damn. Kidnapping is kind of your forte, huh?

“I’m pretty good at it, yeah. Doesn’t have to be strictly a kidnapping, though…”

“Jack,” she said in a warning tone, “we’re not going to kill her unless she forces us, Besides, having a live Siren to experiment on is invaluable.”

“Fine, fine. So let’s send our friend an invitation, shall we?” he said, pulling out his Echo. He brought up Lilith’s channel and hit record. “Hey there cupcake, Jack here, and boy do I have an opportunity for you. How would you like to be a VIP at the grand opening of the Handsome Jackpot, courtesy of our mutual friend, here? Say hi, kitten.”

Rei shot Jack a dirty look. “Hey…Lil…” she mumbled.

“So for Rei’s sake, let’s put all this bad blood behind us and have a good time, ok? Give me a call if you want that VIP pass, pumpkin. Ciao.”

“You could have been a little less obnoxious, she’s never going to call,” griped Rei.

“Guess you don’t know Lilith as well as you think you do, kitten. She lives for a reason to hate me, it’s her favorite friggen thing in the world. She’s so obsessed with me, sometimes I wonder if she has a little crush- well speak of the devil!” Jack’s Echo lit up and began to chime. 

“Lilith! Thanks for the prompt response, sweetheart,” said Jack cheerfully, picking up the call.

“Shut up, Jack. Put Rei on,” said Lilith’s scowling hologram.

“Oof. Rude,” he said, handing Rei the Echo.

“Lil, hey…long time no see…how ya been...did you keep that cactus I gave you? Mine died, like how do you even kill a cactus? Come to think of it, I might have accidentally watered it with vodka… Typical Rei and Lil, chaos everywhere we go, right?” she blurted out awkwardly.

“What the hell are you playing at, Rei?” hissed Lilith, ignoring her attempt at conversation. “Don’t you remember how I tried to kill you less than a two months ago, or did you hit your head in the explosion?”

Rei sighed. “Look, I’d really prefer that you don’t try that again, so let me treat you to a good time as an apology for being a shitty friend and we can work things out.”

“A shitty friend? That’s what you think you are? You’re a goddamn cartoon villain. You got me hooked on Eridium and then left me to die alone on Pandora, remember? Then you joined up with the _worst_ fuckin’ corporation out there to help them rape the hell out of this planet, and now you’re playing house with the enemy of the free world and life as we know it.”

“I would hardly call what we do _playing house_ , if you catch my drift, pumpkin,” said Jack lazily, picking at his fingernails.

“Shut up, Jack!” Rei and Lilith ordered in unison.

“Meee-owww,” he mumbled under his breath.

“So while, uh, some of that is true…And I’m sorry…I had my reasons. Just give me a chance to make things right, ok? Come to the opening. I’m not even mad that you tried to kill me, honest.”

“Well you should be. God, you’re still so weird. And this is clearly a trap. What guarantee do I have that you’re not luring me to my death?” asked Lilith incredulously. 

“You can bring that huge guy who crushed some of my men to death with his bare fricken hands. What’s his name? Stone? Rock?” said Jack casually.

“Brick?” said Lilith, cocking an eyebrow.

“Yeah, that one.”

“How about Roland?”

“What? Hell no. Fuck that guy, I can’t think of anyone I’d find more annoying.”

“He’s my boyfriend.”

“Well that’s a shame.”

“ANYWAY,” Rei interjected strongly before the pair could start bickering, “Will you come, Lil? For old times sake? For me? You have my word you’ll leave alive, ok?”

There was a long silence. Finally, Lilith’s hologram sighed and said, “Fine. I’ll come. Send me the details. I’m warning you, though, I’ll be coming armed and ready to shoot if you force my hand. And knowing you, Rei, well… you always seem to force my hand. Maybe try to detach yourself a bit from the galaxy’s biggest douchebag beforehand, eh, Rei? Your evil bitch scientist image needs a serious makeover.” 

“Uhh… thanks Lil…see you in a few weeks,” grumbled Rei, hanging up the call.

“Aww kitten, you tried so hard and she wasn’t nice to you at all,” said Jack with a mock pout.

“Yeah. Well. I’m not sure what I was expecting.”

“Do you want me to fuck it better, kitten?” asked Jack, sliding off the couch to rest his head between her legs.

“Yeah… you know I do,” murmured Rei with a grin, letting him unzip her pants.


	13. When the Doors Open...

“I hate this. I hate this and I hate you and I’m bored,” complained Rei as Jack’s tailor flitted around her, pinning up the hem of her dress and making the occasional quick stitch. It was the tenth dress she tried on and Jack was finally satisfied, albeit for the length. Jack was stretched out on the fitting room sofa, eating a slice of pizza and scrolling through messages on his Echo.

“Sorry, cupcake, I like this dress and you’re short as hell. Can’t be helped. Now quit whining, you look gorgeous. Tell her how pretty she looks, Rhysie,” he said.

“You ‘ook ‘retty,” said Rhys, his words muffled by a mouthful of pizza. He was perched on the armrest next to Jack, one leg crossed over the other, holding the pizza box in his lap. 

“Shut up. And give me a slice. Uh, please,” she grumbled.

“Ah-ah, you get grease on that dress before we’re even out of the store and I’ll kill you,” said Jack cheerfully.

“You’re making this way more complicated than it needs to be, man. I still have the dress you made me wear to that publicity stunt you pulled at Lynchwood, what’s wrong with that one?”

“That is a) not fancy enough for an event this big and b) you’ve already been photographed wearing it. This isn’t some corporate mixer, this the grand fuckin’ opening of my casino, and we need to blow people’s minds so they, in turn, blow all their cash. It’s all about appearances, darlin’,” drawled Jack.

“How about I just blow _you_ , instead?” snapped Rei.

“I’m going to remember that offer later, kitten. Anyway, I have a couple of surprises for you and Rhysie, and I just got word that my boys finally put the finishing touches on them. Check it out,” he said, pulling up a hologram of a what appeared to be a night club.

“What’s that?” asked Rei apprehensively. She was always wary when Jack used the word ‘surprise’.

“It’s the Handsome Jackpot’s premiere VIP club, _Cabarei_. Get it? See what I did there?” he chuckled, clearly very pleased with himself.

“Huh? No. I don’t see.”

“Look at the sign- it’s not spelled “cabaret” with a ‘T’, it’s _Cabarei_ , like with your name at the end! And it’s yours. Congrats, official partner and share holder of the Handsome Jackpot.”

“Wow…well holy shit…thank you. That’s really generous.”

“Don’t sweat it, sweetheart, it’s still peanuts compared to my stake in this place. Aaaand for Rhysie, we have…” Jack fiddled around on the screen of his Echo for a moment, bringing up a hologram of what was unmistakably a strip club. “The Rhysie Pole.”

Rhys choked on his pizza.

“Oh god... No, Jack, come on…” he pleaded, trying to wave the hologram away.

Jack and Rei burst into a fit of laughter, Rei nearly falling off the fitting stool. The tailor huffed in annoyance and stepped back.

“Don’t you two ever find anything funny that’s not at someone else’s expense?” griped Rhys.

The pair looked at each other for moment, still shaking with laughter.

“I guess not. Them’s the breaks, huh, Rhysie?” said Jack, slapping him jovially on the knee.

“Maybe if you learned a few jokes, I don’t know…” added Rei, stepping down from the stool.

“I’m not a court jester, for fuck’s sake. I’m heading back to the office.”

“Aww, don’t be like that, pumpkin! You’re gonna make so much money!” Jack called after him as he stalked out.

“He’s probably going to kill you one day, you know that, right?” mused Rei, slipping out of the dress and pulling on her own clothes.

“I’d be disappointed if he didn’t,” said Jack fondly.

“So what’s next on the to-do list?” she asked, opening the pizza box Rhys had abandoned.

“Hmm, let’s see here…” Jack pretended to scroll through a list on his Echo. “Ah yes, it says, “set up torture room for Lilith.""

“Ha, ha. Very funny. We’re not torturing, killing, or kidnapping her, so get that through that hair gelled head of yours.”

“It’s pomade, cupcake. Rhys is the only dork who still uses hair gel.”

“Sure, whatever. So you’re going to behave yourself, right? Stick to the plan and let me take care of things?”

“Yeah, yeah, you feed Lilith all the fun drugs until she passes out and I sit there and don’t kill anyone. I still don’t understand how you’re going to handle that enormous Stone guy, it’s going to take a truck load of horse tranquilizer to take him down. How ‘bout I kill him? Only him, promise.”

“It’s Brick,“ Rei began.

“Not important,” said Jack, waving a hand dismissively.

“And about that… She isn’t bringing Brick… I told her she could bring Roland.”

“ _You what?_ ” hissed Jack. “Did I, or did I not, say that guy could go fuck himself?”

“Umm, something along those lines. But you’re right about Brick, I wouldn’t be able to take him out without tipping my hand. Subtly is key here, we don’t want Lilith thinking anything other than that she had a few too many, passed out, and got a scrape or something. You’re going to be nice, right?”

“No.”

“Jack…”

“No.”

“Well then you can go do your own thing and leave me to it.”

“Also no. If you think I’m going to let you run off on your own with the two people who are constantly killing my men and blowing up my stuff, then you’re outta your damn mind, kiddo.”

“Then you can’t be a dick all night. I’m serious,” she said in a warning tone.

“We’ll see,” said Jack, eyes narrowed. 

\---

Rei pressed a hand to the cool glass of the enormous window, staring down in awe at the strange, decadent scene before her. Gambling parlors, shops, restaurants, clubs, slot machines, and glittering lights as far as the eye could see, all gathered inside a lavish space station decorated in the traditional Las Vegas casino style, with an intergalactic twist. The Handsome Jackpot was less of a casino and more of a small city, the epicenter being Jack’s VIP tower and personal haven. 

Rei had chuckled upon entering Jack’s office on the top floor of the tower, seeing an all too familiar picture hanging above his desk. It was the iconic snapshot from the Lynchwood mine opening, Jack standing behind Rei with an arm around her waist, winking and grinning down at her, Rei with a shotgun slung over her shoulder, looking up at him and laughing. 

“Well that’s awfully cute. Didn’t realize you were that sentimental,” she teased.

“Hung it up for the photographers. Having a hot girlfriend is good for my image,” he said absently, fingers tapping away on his computer keyboard.

“Oh. Uh-huh. So when reporters ask me what my connection to you is, I should say…” Rei asked slyly. Jack’s typing ceased as he glared at his computer screen.

“ _Girlfriend_ ,” he mumbled awkwardly.

“Sorry, hun, I didn’t catch that, you’ll have to speak up,” said Rei, grinning maliciously.

“Knock it off, kitten, you heard me.”

“Well, sure, I heard you say something…but I’m not really sure what...” she drawled, perching on the armrest of his chair. Jack sighed and looked up at her. Suddenly he stood, grabbed her hand, and pressed it to his mouth for a gentle kiss. 

“Cupcake. Darling. _Kitten._ Be mine and only mine. Be my girlfriend,” he said with a hint of exasperation.

“Hmm, I don’t know…” she said coyly, smirking up at him. He cocked an eyebrow and slipped her index finger into his mouth, swirling his tongue around it.

“Well when you put it like that…sure, why not, handsome,” she breathed, her other hand traveling down his chest.

“HEY, you two quit it. We don’t have time to clean you up after you do…whatever it is you two like to do to each other,” scolded Rhys, entering the office, a photographer in tow. 

“You’re no fun, Rhysie. We woulda asked you to join, ya know,” pouted Jack. 

“Where’s your tie? And Rei’s shoes? You’re like toddlers, why can’t I keep you two dressed?” sighed Rhys, ignoring him.

“Aww, poor Rhys, he’s wound so tight. You’re stressing him out Jack, be nice,” said Rei, reaching under Jack’s chair and pulling out a pair of silver pumps. 

Rei slipped on the shoes and stood, rolling her eyes as Rhys fussed with her outfit. Jack had chosen an iridescent, royal blue, floor length mermaid dress with a slit leg, and (as seemed to be his preference) a sweetheart neckline with off the shoulder straps. Jack himself had opted for a black tuxedo made of similar iridescent material, with a tail coat and double breasted vest with silver buttons emblazoned with yellow Hyperion H’s. His yellow silk tie lay abandoned on his desk.

“Jack, put your damn tie on. I’ll fix it for you in a minute. And you, hold still,” said Rhys, producing a small silver hairpin shaped like an H and encrusted with yellow emeralds from his pocket. He slipped it into her elegant, messy bun, behind her ear.

“Where did that come from?” asked Rei, running her fingers over the pin.

“Jack’s money. My idea,” said Rhys grinning.

“Yeah, yeah, nice work, kid. Now get over here and make me look good,” said Jack, fiddling with his tie.

After about five dozen photos, even more primping, and Jack’s unceremonious, booted shove of the photographer out the door once he had grown tired of pictures, the group was ready to descend to the courtyard of the VIP tower, where a stage backed by an enormous screen had been erected. Jack pulled a bottle of expensive looking champagne from his desk and popped the cork jovially, pouring a round into three crystal champagne flutes. 

“Alright, kids. The hour is upon us. Guns cocked. Watch your backs. No mistakes.” Jack raised his glass. “Let’s go give those sons of bitches a night they’ll never forget…and for Lilith, a night she definitely will,” he said with an ominous grin. 

“Cheers,” said Rhys and Rei, clinking their glasses with his.

Minutes later they were milling about behind the massive screen as Jack’s promo video for the casino played for the thousands of spectators gathered in front of the stage. Rei paced back and forth, chain smoking and trying her best not to trip over the train of her dress.

“Kitten, you’ve got to relax, you’re even making me uncomfortable,” Jack murmured in her ear after grabbing her around the waist and pulling her to his chest.

“Yeah, sorry, I might be a bit nervous about betraying my ex-best friend and trying not to get killed by her huge boyfriend,” she snapped.

“What? I’m bigger than that asshole. I could take him down in a heartbeat,” Jack muttered defensively.

“I love it when you miss the point, J.”

“Fine, then what’s the point?”

“Betrayal makes me nervous, I guess.”

“You’ll get used to it, kitten,” he said, laughing softly. “Ah. That’s our cue. Ready to play arm candy and stare at some desperately poor idiots?”

“You know, the more you describe it, the less appealing this plan gets…” she mumbled, following him out onto the stage.

Jack struck a pose behind the microphone in the middle of the stage, planted his hands on his hips, and began to speak, but Rei barely registered his words as she scanned the crowd. _“Welcome,”_ something-something. _“The most amazing night of your lives,”_ something-something, she heard through a garbled haze. Then she spotted them. Lilith and Roland, watching disapprovingly from the back of the crowd. Lilith caught her gaze, giving Rei a glare that made her stomach turn. This wasn’t going to be a fun night for either of them, by any means.


	14. Let's Play a Game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I split this chapter into two because the next one is gonna be pure smut. The smutiest smut. The SMUTLIEST. It's already halfway there, so give me a day or two to throw some more dirt and mud and hellfire on it. If you ain't sinning, you ain't winning, am I right or am I right?

“How’s that little town of yours, Rollie?” sneered Jack. 

He and Rei were seated on a couch opposite Roland and Lilith in a private room at the back of Rei’s club, rock music blaring in the background, the lights low and moody. Rhys was playing bartender to the group, watching them from behind the small bar at the back of the room. Rei had given him a vial of white powder, instructing him to drop a teaspoon in all of Lilith and Rolland’s drinks.

Jack had his arm slung over the back of the couch behind Rei, legs crossed, drink in hand, swirling the amber liquid slowly. His trademark grin was plastered across his face, but his eyes remained hard and ice cold as he stared down Roland. 

“Sanctuary is thriving. Nice of you to ask,” replied Roland coolly, sipping his drink.

“Glad to hear it. So you guys get indoor plumbing yet, or…?”

“ _Jack_ ,” hissed Rei, jabbing him in the ribs with her elbow.

“What? I sincerely want to know. I worry about our friends here having to shit in a hole in the middle of a field for the sake of…what was it? Freedom, or something? Anti-capitalist, renegade nonsense?” he said snidely.

“Yeah, yeah, the modern conception of capitalism is just a negative construct created by people who don’t have money and a competitive market is healthy, blah-blah-blah. Jack thinks I don’t listen when he talks, and sometimes, honestly, he’s right. Especially when it’s the capitalism speech I’ve gotten about hundred times,” said Rei, rolling her eyes and grinning at Roland. He smiled back weakly.

“So…are you two going to talk to each other at all, or is this a lost cause?” Roland asked, eyeing Lilith and Rei.

“Oh, we will. I’m just trying to remember how to speak bitch,” snapped Lilith, tossing back her drink. 

“Ah…Lil…come on… You know I’m sorry. Really, really sorry. I’m sorry for stranding you on Pandora with an Eridium addiction, I’m sorry that my company is causing destruction and unrest, and I’m sorry about all the other shady shit I’ve done over the last ten years. I could make a list, but we’d be here all night. I’m sorry, Lilith. I really am,” said Rei, trying to keep the frustration in her voice to a minimum.

“That was pretty weak,” Lilith said, yawning. “And you’re still a real cunt, Rei. You get to sit up in your ivory tower on Helios, while we’re fighting for our lives on a crumbling planet, trying to keep ourselves safe from Hyperion. From Jack. From _you_. How can you fuck that bastard after all he’s done? I know your pussy can’t tell right from wrong, but you can, can’t you?” she said angrily, starting to slur her words. 

Jack’s eyebrows shot up. “Excuse me, sweetheart? Would you care to repeat that?”

“Ok, ok, let’s not get off track here, we're here to discuss a truce, aren't-“ Rei began, only to be interrupted by Lilith.

“And how about an apology for all those bandits you tortured and drugged into psychosis, then dumped back on Pandora for us to deal with? That’s pretty high up on the list of shitty things you’ve done,” she said, slurring heavily.

“I’m sorry for that too…although it was a group effort. I know that doesn’t make it better, but it wasn’t my idea. I was barely a lab assistant at the time.”

“Nooope. Definitely doesn’t make it better, just makes you a sheep. You coulda refused to do it, but knowing you, you probably enjoyed it. Fuckin’…soulless…corporate…asshole…” Lilith’s eyelids fluttered as she struggled to stay sitting upright. Roland was already snoring softly beside her, arms draped over the back of the couch, head lolling onto his chest.

“Rol? Roland? You ok?” asked Lilith, shaking him gently. “What’s happening? What did you two… _oh, fuck_.” She dropped into Rolland’s lap like a ton of bricks.

“Aaand lights out!” crowed Jack, slapping his knee gleefully. 

“FINALLY. If I had to apologize one more time, I was gonna slug ‘er. I’m starting to wonder if I even still like her, honestly. God, I’m sick of apologizing to people. Why don’t you ever have to do it, Jack? Your track record is way worse than mine,” huffed Rei, striding over to the bar and ducking behind it.

“Hah! Real quick, kitten, tell me- who is the richest, most powerful man in the galaxy?”

“You are, Jack,” grumbled Rei, pulling a first aid kit from a shelf under the bar and returning to her seat.

“That’s right, baby. No apologies necessary when you’re untouchable. Plus, it’s all for the greater good, am I right, Rhysie?”

Rhys shrugged and poured another drink for himself. “If that was something I was worried about, I’d have left Hyperion a long time ago,” he said, taking a sip and leaning against the bar.

“And I would have hunted you down, fucked the ever-loving shit out of you, then fed your mangled body to a pit of skags. Good thing you stayed, eh?” Jack chuckled darkly.

“Don’t threaten _me_ with a good time,” Rhys shot back, smirking and draining his tumbler. 

Rei perched on the edge of the glass topped coffee table between the two couches and popped open the first aid kit. She pulled on a pair of black latex gloves and ripped open a sterilizing wipe, which she swiped over the tattooed skin on outer side of Lilith’s forearm. She then produced a packaged scalpel from the box, opened it, and got to work. Rei carefully sliced through Lilith’s flesh, deep enough to pull up a strip of skin, but shallow enough that the wound didn’t look surgical. The effect was a swatch of skin that resembled a very small, very thin slice of raw bacon.

“You ever think about being a butcher? You’ve got some real potential,” joked Jack. He was watching her work intently, leaning in with his elbows resting on his knees, his chin in his palm.

“Doctor. Scientist. Butcher. Not a huge difference. We’ve all got blood on our hands from one meat bag or another, don’t we?” she said, peeling the strip of flesh off with a pair of tweezers as blood began to trickle down Lilith’s arm.

“Well something about that statement seems a little…bandit-y,” mused Rhys.

“Take this up to Jack’s office and get it on ice,” said Rei, holding the flesh sample out to Rhys in a petri dish. 

“Gross. Why me?”

“Because Rei and I still have to go make a few appearances around this place. Now hop to it, cupcake,” said Jack.

Rhys begrudgingly took the sample and stalked off.

“Now, kitten, what do you say we go have some fun? I didn’t throw this shindig just so we could sit on our asses in a private room all night. Let’s go join the party and show these dum-dums how the high rollers cut loose.”

“You want to go mingle with the common folk, eh, J? How benevolent of you. They’re going to lose their minds if you show up in one of the non-VIP clubs. Should be fun to see, I’ll scout myself out a nice corner somewhere to watch from.”

“Ohh no ya don’t, cupcake. If I’m spending time among the unwashed masses, so are you. I promise it’ll be fun,” he said, brushing a loose tendril of hair off her cheek. She made an exasperated noise in the back of her throat.

“Can’t we just stay here and have some fun of our own?” she purred, sliding into his lap and ghosting her lips over his ear. She gently ran her nails down the back of his neck, feeling the hair stand on end, a grin of satisfaction slowly spreading across her face. She loved getting Jack riled up, and this was an indicator that she was on the right track. If she could just get him to the point of no return, she might be able to buy a few more hours out of the public eye.

“Now, kitten, we’ve got places to be. We’ll have time to fool around la-“ Jack cut himself off, sucking in his breath sharply as Rei ducked her head to nip at his neck and slowly began to grind her ass against his already twitching cock. 

“You don’t seem too sure about that, handsome…” she whispered mischievously in his ear. Rei slid her hand down his chest, stopping to toy with his belt buckle. He let out a lustful, frustrated groan.

“I’ll make you a deal, kitten,” he said breathily, running his hands over her hips. “I can fuck you real quick and dirty, right here on this couch, and- believe me- I’m aching to fuck the shit out of you in front of those two Crimson Losers, even if they are passed out… Or we can play a game.”

“A game?”

“That’s right, doll. A game. How about you and I celebrate the occasion with a new toy? Let’s give one lucky person the chance to join us in the VIP suite later. Whoever can find the best cut of meat among that crowd of idiots out there gets to bring ‘em back with us.”

“Gender?”

“As long as there’s a willing hole or two involved, doesn’t matter. Only two rules: I don’t fuckin’ bottom, and we both have to agree on the victim,” he said with a smirk.

“Hmm, I like the way you think, HJ. Deal. I guess tonight will be fun after all.”

“That’s the spirit! Hey, Loady McLoader Face,” he whistled and snapped his fingers at the Loader Bot standing guard at the door. “Take these two up to the deluxe suite on the 14th floor of the VIP tower,” he said, gesturing to the sleeping forms of Lilith and Roland. “Break a lamp or something, mess up the room a bit. Make it look like they had themselves a wild night, capiche?”

“As you wish, master,” said the Loader Bot mechanically, stomping over and throwing Lilith over one shoulder and Roland over the other.

“Master, eh? I take it that you’ve been fiddling with their language programming, then,” said Rei with a laugh.

“Well I considered making them say ‘daddy’, but I decided to reserve that for you alone,” he retorted, leering back at her.

\----

The game turned out to be a lot of fun for Jack and a lot of boredom for Rei. The pair had been swarmed by doting Handsome Jack fans the moment they left Rei’s club, and Jack, as always, was basking in the spotlight, signing autographs and posing for photos. After growing tired of clinging to Jack’s arm while being bombarded with camera flashes and questions (mostly about Jack), Rei had slipped off to see if she could find a victim at a nearby bar. 

Unfortunately, it seemed that Rei’s fame had a different effect than Jack’s; everyone in the bar was giving her a wide berth and avoiding making eye contact, assumingly afraid of what Handsome Jack might do, should they bother her. She despised the idea that people may very well see her as a possession of Jack’s, rather than a living, breathing person, and the thought had put her in a vindictive mood. She sat in the corner of the bar, sipping a drink and glaring down at her Echo.

“Can I buy you a drink, darlin’?”

A man’s deep, slightly gravelly voice cut through her thoughts, but she didn’t look up from her screen. She was no longer in the mood to entertain strangers. 

“Already got one, you should probably move along, cowboy,” she said distantly.

The unfamiliar man ignored Rei’s snub and sat down on the stool beside her.

“You’re Handsome Jack’s girl, ain’t ya?” he asked.

“Yep, that’s me, property of the big man himself,” she grumbled, still scrolling through her Echo.

“So where’s he at? I wouldn’t let a pretty lady like you out my sight in a place like this.”

Rei finally looked up at the man next to her. He looked to be in his early to mid thirties with hair the color of wet sand and a subtle five-o-clock shadow. He had a stocky, muscular build, accentuated by the tight cobalt blue suit he wore, his white dress shirt left open at the collar. Rei was pleasantly surprised by how attractive the stranger interrupting her little sulk had turned out to be.

“Yeah? Well I own some of this place, pal, so I guess you’ve got some complaints for me, then?” she asked snidely, waiting for a blush or a hint of embarrassment in his expression. To her slight annoyance, he remained unperturbed, smiling amicably at her.

“Haha, whoops, didn’t mean to offend ya. Just seems like a rough crowd around here, what with all the booze and the sex and the drugs…A lot of dirty money changing hands between dangerous folks, too. I’d watch myself, if I were you.”

“You just described my life in a nutshell. Listen, I don’t have Handsome Jack wrapped around my finger because drugs, sex, and dirty money are things I object to. Not a damsel in distress over here, ok? Any questions?” 

“Just one…” He leaned forward to mutter in her ear. “What’s it like to get fucked by him?” he growled, the gravelly quality of his voice much more pronounced.

Rei jerked her head away from him in surprise. 

“ _What_?” she snapped incredulously. 

She was having a hard time believing the balls on this guy. First he approaches her when no one else will, then he has the gall to ask so bluntly about her sex life. Rei couldn’t help but wonder if he, too, was playing some sort of game.

“What’s it like? Is he real rough with you, darlin’? I bet he is. He seems like the type of guy who needs it rough to get off,” said the man, leaning in closer and draping his arm over the back of her chair.

A devious smile lit up Rei’s face. She’d just been handed a win. Game over. There was no way Jack would say no to this guy.

“Do you want to find out?” she purred. 

“Absolutely,” breathed the man.

“What’s your name, hun?”

“Axton.”

“Well, Axton, how about I show you the VIP suite while we wait for Jack?” Rei pulled up Jack’s line on her Echo and quickly typed out a message.

**Rei:** _I found our third and I guarantee you won’t find better, trust me. Bringing him back to the room. Hurry up or I’ll wreck his cute little ass without you._

“Ok. Shall we?” she asked sweetly, the devil's smile curled across her lips.


	15. More Than He Bargained For***

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Axton willingly puts himself in Jack's way and gets fucked. Hard. Oof.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive me lord, for I have sinned, but so help me god, I'll fucking do it again. And again. And again...
> 
> Happy New Year kids, enjoy some super smut!  
> The appropriate song for this chapter (and this whole fic, to be honest) is "Don't Threaten Me With a Good Time" by Panic! At the Disco. No, seriously, I had the chorus stuck in my head while editing this and it did some cool things for me. Now it's the soundtrack for when I reread any of it. Thumbs up.
> 
> ***Warning: Uhhhh....Axton might take a bit of a beating with some mild non-con mixed in there. He likes some it, though. *shrug*

The tower was just a short walk from the bar and the pair was entering the massive living room of the VIP suite within minutes. Rei retrieved a bottle of Jack’s fancy champagne and poured three glasses, setting one down on an end table to wait for him, then she sat down on an ornate couch with gold upholstery and patted the seat next to her. Axton joined her, staring around at the lavish, ostentatious suite.

“Wow, this place is uh…”

“Excessive? Yeah, I know. Jack’s aesthetic is something along the lines of, “You can’t afford this,” and, “Is there enough black leather in here?”” she said, laughing.

“Well, you can never have enough black leather, darlin’,” said Axton, reaching out and stroking her cheek. 

He leaned in and caught her lips with his own, kissing her firmly, yet gently. Without breaking the kiss, he threw a knee up onto the couch and began crawling forward, crowding her back against the armrest until he was straddling her. Rei ran her hands up his chest, feeling something cold and metallic hanging from his neck. She pulled away to look at the rectangular tags in her hand. Dog tags, and for some reason, a wedding ring. Rei knew better than to ask why.

“A soldier, eh? Your battalion isn’t going to be happy about you fraternizing with Handsome Jack and friends, you know.”

“Don’t have a battalion anymore, I was discharged a while back. I’m a mercenary now, honey. A vault hunter, in fact.”

“You’re a…what?” she said, taken aback.

“He’s a vault hunter. Well, he _was_ a vault hunter. _For me_ ,” growled a voice from across the room.

Jack was leaning in the doorway of the suite, arms crossed, brows furrowed in a thunderous scowl. He strode over behind the couch, gripping the edge of the headrest with white knuckles, looming over the pair. Then he sighed, screwing his eyes shut and rubbing his temple.

“Kitten…why? Why do you do this shit to me? It’s like you’re _trying_ to get us both killed.”

“Jack…I don’t understand…”

“I hired this joker as a vault hunter and then _tried to kill him_. Did you forget that part, Axie? The part where I wanted you dead?”

“Nope, I remember. Crazy bus explosion. Lotta fun,” said Axton, sitting up. Rei slid out from under him and began backing away from the couch, feeling the weight of the grave error she had made.

“So why the hell are you here? Do you need to get fucked by Handsome Jack so badly that you’re willing to risk your life for it? I can’t blame you, but…pretty stupid move, kiddo,” snarled Jack.

“What if that’s exactly why I’m here? Is that so hard to believe?” asked Axton, pouting up at him playfully.

Jack grabbed the burly man by the hair and bent his head back at a painful looking angle. Axton grimaced but remained still. Jack leaned down so his face was mere inches away, staring at the man in his grasp with fire in his eyes. Rei had seen that expression before, and, although she knew this was going to take an unfortunate turn for Axton, she couldn’t help but feel excited for what was to come. When Jack was at his worst, he always fucked her the best. 

Rei sauntered over to the armrest next to Jack and sat, looking quizzically down at Axton.

“I don’t think we believe him, do we, J?” she drawled lazily.

“No, I don’t believe we do. So why don’t you tell us why you’re really here, cupcake?” hissed Jack through clenched teeth.

“Fine, fine, I might have been paid to keep an eye on you two. Uh, do you mind?” he grunted, trying to jerk his head out of Jack’s grip. Jack released him, drawing his pistol and pointing it at Axton’s head instead.

“Well that’s not much better…” mumbled the soldier.

“Who are you working for? I want answers, now,” snarled Jack.

“No can do, big guy. I gave you as much of an answer as you’re gonna get. The rest is classified.”

“Maybe you should fuck it out of him, J.” said Rei, examining her shimmery black nails disinterestedly. 

“Kitten, you always have the best ideas!” crowed Jack, his scowl morphing into a wolfish grin. He tossed her his gun. “Watch him for a minute.” He turned and left the room.

“That was pretty dirty trick, soldier boy,” she said in a low, ominous voice, cocking the gun and aiming between Axton’s eyes.

“I wasn’t trying to trick anyone, just saw an opportunity for some fun on the job and I took it,” he said, shrugging out of his jacket and throwing it over the back of the couch.

“Jack is almost certainly going to kill you once he’s done. Why would you risk that?”

“Ah, darlin’, you underestimate me. I wasn’t a commando for all those years because I’m bad surviving dangerous situations. Jack doesn’t scare me. Also… I wanted to spend a little time with Jack’s girl. See what makes you tick. See if you’re a threat. See…what you have on under that dress,” he said with an impish grin, eyes twinkling up at her.

“Well, you might just get some of what you wanted…and a whole lot you didn’t,” she said, smiling sweetly back. 

“Ok kiddos, time for some fun!” announced Jack gleefully, returning to the couch and slipping his gun back into its holster. He held a jumble of straps and chains. Jack separated the tangled items in his hands and flipped a black leather gag over to Rei. “You get his mouth, I’ll get his wrists,” he said, giving Axton a hard shove to the back, forcing him face down on the couch. 

Jack yanked Axton’s arms behind him, clinking a pair of thick metal handcuffs around his wrists so quickly that the soldier barely had time to react. Rei snickered at them as she undid the buckle on the gag.

“Yeah, I don’t know about the gag, darli- _nghhh!_ ” protested Axton as she stuffed the leather strap in his mouth and fastened it around his head. 

“You wanted to see what I have on under my dress, right? Be a good boy and I’ll show you.”

“Oh he said that, did he? Cheeky little bastard,” chuckled Jack, unbuckling his belt. “Kitten, why don’t you come over here and get this party started, hmm? You’re in for a real treat, Axie. Getting to watch my kitten blow me is a real privilege.”

Jack pulled Axton upright by the back of his shirt and plopped down next to him, throwing an arm over his shoulders. He hooked a finger under the chain of the soldier’s dog tags and toyed with it gently, giving him a devilish grin. Rei knelt between Jack’s legs and shoved his pants down, mouthing at the exposed skin of his upper thighs. 

“Hmm, I think I have another good idea,” she said softly, pulling a small baggie of purple powder out of her bra.

“Oh you just keep that Eridium concentrate stashed on you at all times, eh, kitten?”

“This stuff is close to my heart. Literally,” she giggled.

She poured a trail of powder down Jack’s thigh and snorted it in one fluid motion. She then tapped a line onto the back of her hand, holding it out to Jack, who sniffed it up appreciatively. He threw back his head and sighed happily, then turned to Axton, positively beaming, and clapped him on the back.

“Holy hell, kiddo. Looks like I’m gonna be fucking you all night long,” he purred in Axton’s ear, pulling himself out of his pants and giving his near instant erection a few assisting strokes.

Rei licked the tip of his cock and Jack’s hand dropped to his side, letting her take over. She sank down on his member, almost to the hilt, making him groan loudly at the hot silkiness of her mouth and her tongue ring gliding over his shaft. She lazily dragged her tongue back up to his cockhead and sucked gently, stroking his slit with the tip of her tongue. Then she picked up her pace and began bobbing her head while pumping his length with a firm grip, getting faster and sloppier with every passing minute. Jack let out another low moan and dug his fingers into Axton’s shoulder with the hand that was still dangling carelessly over it.

“ _Oh, fuck, kitten_. Take it easy, our friend is still waiting for a turn on my dick.”

“I think it’s only fair that I get first dibs, I found him after all. And since I won, shouldn’t I be calling the shots?” she said, sitting back on her heels and wiping her mouth.

Jack raised his eyebrows at her. “Oh yeah, doll? Hey, if that’s what you want…” He shrugged. “That ok with you, buddy?” he said, hooking his arm around Axton’s neck and pulling his head into his chest. 

“ _Mmmph,_ ” came his unintelligible reply. The look on his face was something akin to curiosity with a hint of apprehension, probably at the prospect of being subjected to whatever insane things those two cartoonish villains could think up.

Jack laughed derisively. “Like it even matters what you want at this point, kiddo.”

“Bedroom. Let’s go,” said Rei, snapping her fingers at the two of them. 

“You heard that hot little piece of ass, up you get,” said Jack, dragging Axton to his feet and pushing him down the hall.

They followed Rei into the bedroom, Jack hauling Axton onto the bed with him while she waited at the foot, arms crossed. Jack threw an arm over Axton’s shoulders once again, watching her intently. Once she had their full attention, Rei slowly, almost teasingly, unzipped her dress. She let it slide off her body and pool at her feet, revealing black, lacey lingerie with yellow stitching. She bent to remove her silver pumps, but Jack cleared his throat insistently. She stopped and put her hands on her hips, cocking them to one side.

“What?” she said sharply.

“Do me a favor kitten…uhh, boss-kitten…. Leave ‘em on? Please? For daddy?” he pleaded, sticking out his lower lip. 

Rei rolled her eyes but couldn’t suppress a crooked smile. “Fine,” she said climbing up onto the bed and crawling towards them, catlike. She knelt between Axton’s legs and reached behind his head to unfasten the gag.

“The hell are you doing that for? I don’t wanna hear this guy complain all night,” whined Jack. 

“He’ll be too busy putting that mouth to work to complain, don’t you worry. Isn’t that right, soldier boy?” she purred, grabbing Axton’s chin and stroking his lower lip with her thumb.

“Mmhmm, whatever you want, darlin’, as long as I get to touch you,” he murmured, his eyes raking over her body hungrily. 

Rei smacked his cheek lightly, but firmly. “You don’t get to make demands. The cuffs stay on. Trade places with me.”

Axton awkwardly shifted onto his knees and shuffled out of Rei’s way as she took his spot next to Jack. 

“Sit right there, lover boy,” she snapped her fingers at him and pointed between her legs.

He quickly obeyed, keeping his head low to avoid letting the pair see his pleased grin. Rei hooked a leg over his shoulder, pressing into his back with the sharp stiletto of her shoe.

“Down.”

He bent slowly and began kissing a trail up her thigh, nipping at her thong when he reached her pubic bone. He looked up at her and raised an eyebrow questioningly. She gave him a nod and he pulled the garment down with his teeth, tenuously inching it down her legs.

“Lemme help you with that, kiddo,” said Jack lazily, shrugging out of his jacket. He fished around in his pants pocket and produced a switchblade, flipped it open, and hooked it under the waistband of Rei’s panties. Before she could protest, Jack had severed both sides with a flick of his wrist.

“ _Jack! I liked those!_ ” she hissed in irritation.

“So I’ll buy you another pair,” he murmured, pocketing the knife and kissing his way up her neck before enveloping her mouth. Their lips moved against each other languidly, tongues intertwining, hands tangled in each other’s hair.

Suddenly Rei broke away, moaning wantonly with her eyes screwed shut as she felt Axton’s mouth descend upon the heat between her legs. He lapped at her folds eagerly, dragging his tongue up to swirl around her clit, then back down to dip into her now dripping entrance, kissing and sucking every part of her along the way. After short while, Rei felt the weight of the bed abruptly shift, then heard the creak of a drawer opening. The weight shifted back and Axton cried out, jerking his head up. Rei whined at the loss of contact and sat up on her elbows to see what was the matter.

“Hey, man, are you serious?! You can’t put that on me!” complained Axton, trying to shake off Jack’s grip around his neck. 

In the hand that wasn’t clenched around the back of Axton’s neck, Jack held a black leather collar (a plainer version of the one he had given Rei) connected to a chain-link leash. Rei laughed. Jack definitely had an aesthetic, and that was black leather absolutely everywhere. She sat up and folded her legs under her, reaching down to grab Axton’s face and still him.

“Cooperate, or the gag goes back on,” said Rei silkily. 

She clenched his jaw in her palm while simultaneously stroking his cheek with her thumb, as though making both a threat and a titillating promise. He huffed in annoyance but slumped down, dropping his head into her lap and allowing Jack to collar him. 

“Good boy,” she praised, stroking his hair.

“Thanks, kitten. So can I have a go at him now, or what? Don’t leave me hanging, here,” said Jack impatiently, gesturing towards his ever present, Eridium enhanced erection, still bobbing out of his open fly.

“Aww, you feeling neglected, J? Sure, have at him,” she cooed, crawling over to where Jack knelt behind Axton and sitting up on her knees to nuzzle and nip at his neck.

Jack wound the leash around his hand, curling it into a fist, and when it was short enough, gave it an experimental yank. Axton jerked backward and sputtered, almost losing his balance and toppling back into Jack’s lap. Jack smirked maliciously, the fire still glinting in his eyes.

“Ok, pumpkin. Let’s see what you’re made of,” he said, his voice low and dangerous.

“I, uh… I mean, it’s not my first time at the rodeo, but uh... Don’t go too hard on me, ok?” said Axton, nervously eyeing Jack’s impressively sized cock.

“We’ll see.”

“ _That means there’s no fuckin’ chance_ ” Rei whispered in Axton’s ear, undoing his belt and pulling down his fly.

She giggled and smacked his ass, urging him up onto his knees while she pulled his pants and boxer briefs down, before unbuttoning his shirt and sliding it down to his elbows. Jack was busily pulling off Axton’s shoes and kicking off his own, then yanking off his vest and shirt without undoing all the buttons. He reached over to the already open drawer beside the bed and pulled out a bottle of lube, slicking up his throbbing erection, and hungrily descending on Axton, forcing his chest down into the bed with a thud. He pressed a hand to his back and held him there while he adjusted Axton’s hips and slid his pants the rest of the way off. Jack began to teasingly press his achingly hard cock between Axton’s cheeks.

“Aw, hey, come on Jack, at least give him a few fingers first,” said Rei sympathetically, although a wicked grin remained fixed across her face.

“Kitten, I don’t think I can wait much longer. I can’t tell if I want to kill something or fuck something, but if one of those two things doesn’t happen soon, I’m definitely going with kill,” Jack said in a strained tone.

“Oh, fuck, come on man…” mumbled Axton into the sheets. He raised his head to glance over his shoulder at Jack, a pleading look in his eyes. “If I survive this night, don’t you want me to at least tell people you’re a good lay? You know they’re gonna ask what Handsome Jack is like in bed …”

Jack shot him one of his signature “if looks could kill” faces and made an exasperated growl deep in his throat in response.

It was clearly taking every ounce of willpower he had to restrain himself from plunging balls deep into the command splayed out before him, but he begrudgingly lubed up a few fingers and got to work. Axton groaned as Jack pumped one large finger into his tight hole, and after a few pumps, another, far too soon for comfort. Jack worked him open quickly, drawing mostly grunts of pain from Axton as he carelessly fucked his fingers into the cuffed man. 

“Think you can fucking take me now, cupcake? Or am I still too big for you?” hissed Jack, still pumping his fingers in and out.

“Shut up and do it already, douchebag,” retorted Axton. Jack abruptly yanked his fingers out, making him shudder in pain.

“You reaaally need to remember your manners, or I’m not going to be able to help you, Ax,” Rei said, her voice soft and sickly sweet. She was hovering next to Jack, her arm draped over one of his broad shoulders, her head resting on top of it. 

“Oh, sweetheart, nothing can help him now,” growled Jack, lining his cock up with Axton’s quivering hole.

“Maybe he just needs a good dicking. Go on, J, fuck the shit out of him,” urged Rei, her tone absolutely poisonous.

Jack sank into Axton far too quickly, making the commando yelp and writhe underneath him as Jack pressed the weight of his powerful chest into his back. He fell still as Jack gave him a moment to adjust, his breath coming in heavy pants.

“Thaaaaat’s it, deep breaths. Relax, pumpkin, this is nothing. Things haven’t even _begun_ to get bad for you, yet,” crooned Jack as he started to move his hips. 

Jack groaned in relief as he slowly thrust his throbbing cock into Axton, the friction easing his frustration. Axton, on the other hand, was struggling not to whimper as the older man began pounding into him, his rhythm going from gentle and controlled to full on jackhammering in less than a minute.

“So tell me, Axie, did you really think I’d fuck you nicely? That I’d suddenly change my mind about wanting most of you annoying fuckin’ vault hunters dead? You _willingly_ entered the lions’ den, expecting not to get torn to pieces. What the fuck is wrong with you, kiddo?” Jack laughed and punctuated his sentence with a particularly hard thrust, eliciting a satisfying yelp from the man beneath him.

“Guess I’m just a glutton for punishment,” grunted Axton, a hint of amusement in his voice. It seemed as though he was beginning to enjoy himself, and Jack, while pleased that the commando was getting off on being manhandled and tormented by him, wasn’t about to let him enjoy it without consequence. 

“Hey, kitten, why don’t you show our friend that little stunt you pulled on Pandora? The one that nearly broke my face?” said Jack, roughly yanking the leash towards himself, forcing Axton to sit up and lean back into his chest. Jack hooked a few fingers under the collar and slowed his thrusts to keep him anchored in place.

Rei, who had been running her nails down Jack’s back and murmuring words of encouragement in his ear, giggled. She reached into Jack’s thigh holster, still bunched around his thighs with his pants, slid out his gun, and turned it on Axton.

“Woah, woah, hold up, at least make it a fair fight if you’re going to try and kill me,” he rasped against the pressure of Jack’s pull on the collar.

“Don’t worry, hun, safety’s on. Doesn’t make it much safer for _you_ , though,” she said with an amused grin, drawing back her arm. She swung the gun down on him, even harder than she had on Jack, decking him across the face, and causing the commando to cry out in pain and surprise. Both Rei and Jack cackled as Axton spat blood onto the bed. 

“That all you got, babe?” he said dazedly, giving her a bloodstained grin. 

Jack gave the collar a sharp tug.

“We can go harder if you want, kiddo. Just keep running that mouth of yours, see what happens,” he growled. He shoved Axton back down on the mattress and returned to his punishing pace, pumping in and out of him. Axton let out a low moan, his cuffed hands balling into fists behind his back.

Rei watched Jack begin to pant, the muscles in his back tensing. She moved to his side and leaned over Axton to pull Jack into a heated kiss, burying her hands in his hair and digging her nails roughly into his scalp, drawing a soft moan out of the man. All he needed was a little more pain to push him over the edge. She let her lips glide from his mouth, to his jaw, and then down his chest. Rei dragged her tongue over the firm muscles, stopping to lave over his nipple. Suddenly she bit down hard on the tender bud, sending shudders through his body.

“ _Ah, fuck, kitten_ , you’re gonna make me cum…” he groaned desperately. “You hear that, Axie? I’m gonna fill your tight little hole and make a huge mess for ya. Let’s see how well you march after being fucked senseless and filled with cum, soldier boy,” he hissed in Axton’s ear.

“Hey, hey, not in-“ 

Axton tried to protest, but it was too late. Jack was already hunched over his back, one hand buried in Rei’s hair as she continued sinking her teeth into his pectoral, the other between Axton’s shoulders, crushing him into the mattress with all his weight. Jack threw back his head, eyes screwed shut, and gave a final, brutal thrust, sinking his cock all the way to the hilt and letting go. He groaned loudly as he spilled into the man beneath him, his cock twitching and spurting for what felt like ages, pain and pleasure rippling through his body. Finally, he sank forward to lean on his hands, torso still hunched over Axton’s back, head hung low in exhaustion. 

“God…damn…that was good. Really fucking good,” he panted, slowly pulling himself out of the commando. A thick stream of cum trickled out of Axton’s abused hole and dribbled down his thighs. 

“Fuck you. What the hell,” grumbled Axton, displeased at the wet, tacky feeling of Jack’s cum dripping between his legs.

“HAH! Nope, pretty sure you’re the one who just got fucked here, princess,” said Jack, descending into peels of laughter. “I’ll tell you what, since you got me off so good, I’m gonna let you fuck kitten and get her off that good, too. If she wants. You want that, kitten?”

“About damn time,” she purred, stroking the hair on his chest.

“Well if I’m going to be doing any actual fucking, these cuffs gotta go…”

“Hmm…I do kind of want to see what you’re capable of… Should we trust him, J?”

“Hell, why not. Kid’s earned it. But just to be safe…” Jack pulled his pants back up to his hips, tucking himself away, but leaving the fly open. He removed his gun from its holster and clicked off the safety. “No funny business, ok, kiddo? One wrong move and I’ll blow brains out. And- trust me- it won’t even ruin the mood.”

Jack reached into his pocket and pulled out a key, then went about unlocking the cuffs. Rei slid up the bed to rest her back against the headboard, waiting in eager anticipation. 

“Can I go get cleaned up, at least?” asked Axton, sitting up and rubbing his wrists.

“Here,” said Rei, leaning forward and pulling his shirt, still bunched around his elbows, the rest of the way off. She tossed it at him with a derisive laugh.

Axton grumbled but took the shirt and wiped down his legs and ass. He then turned to Rei and slid close enough to nudge her legs apart with his knee, a hand planted on either side of her hips. A devious smile began to play across his lips. He glanced over his shoulder at Jack, checking to see where the gun and leash were in proximity to himself. Jack had given him some slack on the leash to move around, but still had the gun pointed threateningly at his head. The older man moved to kneel beside Axton, also dropping down to lean on his hands, and pressing the gun into his back.

“That good dicking I just gave ya made you a little hard, huh, Axie? You fuckin’ love the abuse, don’t you?” he said, dipping his head to mutter huskily in his ear. Jack licked a hot stripe up Axton’s neck, sending shivers of pleasure down his spine.

Rei reached for Axton’s semi stiff cock and began giving it slow, languid strokes, pleased when he let out a low moan as he hardened beneath her fingers. He leaned in and kissed her, more aggressively and sloppier than he had earlier, and pulled her down underneath him so their hips were flush. He began to grind his now erect length against her pubic bone, enjoying the way her breasts pressed against his chest. He ran a hand down her leg, then suddenly threw it over his shoulder, ignoring the sting as her stiletto dug into his skin. The commando reached between them and began to rub her clit in small circles, making her arch her back as she squirmed underneath him in pleasure.

“Fuck me, soldier boy,” moaned Rei, rolling her hips up to meet his.

“Go on kid, give it to her,” growled Jack, watching the pair lustfully.

Axton positioned himself at Rei’s entrance and sank into her slowly while sucking kisses onto her ankle. He drew himself out almost entirely, just his cockhead teasing her lips, then slowly slid back into her warm, wet heat and repeated the motion. 

“Come on soldier, I know you want it rougher than that. We just beat the crap out of you, aren’t you gonna give it right back to us? “ Jack hissed in his ear, as if he was the devil on Axton’s shoulder.

Axton ignored him, opting instead to lean down and suck Rei’s nipple. She moaned and dragged her fingers through his short cropped hair.

“Let’s go kid, if you don’t fuck her proper then _I will_ ,” snarled Jack, hooking a finger under his collar and giving it a sharp, warning tug. He was already hard again, waiting, wanting, and aching.

Axton wheezed and glared over at him, but slightly picked up his pace. Rei responded with a pleased little mewl, bringing her hips up to meet his in synchronized rhythm. Axton groaned hotly into her ear, surprised at how close to finishing he already was. He loved danger, and apparently his cock loved it, too. 

Suddenly Jack was wrenching him back, sending him toppling to the side.

“Sorry, kid. You had your chance and I’m fuckin’ tired of waiting,” Jack said, shoving his pants off the rest of the way.

Jack pounced upon Rei with a feverish hunger, pulling her legs around his waist and roughly thrusting into her, making her gasp. 

“Hang on tight, kitten,” he murmured in her ear, before dropping to his elbows and begging to slam his cock into her at a brutal pace. She gripped his back, her nails digging in deep enough to cause tiny pinpricks of blood to form on the surface of his skin.

Rei was moaning desperately at full volume, unable to control the sounds that Jack was wrenching out of her as he pounded away. Jack himself wasn’t much better, groaning huskily in her ear between heavy breaths, lost in a haze of chemically enhanced arousal. 

Rei alternated between moans and whines and whispering filthy things in his ear, egging him on. She dragged her teeth down his neck, biting down hard when she reached the juncture of his neck and shoulder. Jack shuddered in pain and pleasure, feeling a familiar heat pooling in his groin.

“ _Jack, oh fuck, I’m so close_ ,” she whispered breathily in his ear, eliciting a low, sinful groan from the man.

“Scream my name, baby. You know how I like it. Scream my name while you cum for me, kitten,” he growled.

And in moments, Rei was writhing underneath him, her hips bucking up into his, howling his name in a breathy, high pitched whine. Jack sucked in his breath as her pussy clenched around him, milking his cock, dragging him to the edge. He gave a few more uneven, hitching thrusts and came, slamming his cock into her and spilling inside her with a roar. He continued to press himself as deeply as he could, giving little thrusts, while he rode out the throbbing, twitching spurts of his orgasm, nuzzling her neck and groaning in ecstasy. 

After several minutes, Jack raised himself up on his hands, shoulders hunched and panting hard.

“Well,” he said, sounding winded, “that’s how ya do it, kiddo.”

He looked over at Axton, who was leaning against the headboard next to them, one arm behind his head and the other being used to leisurely stroke his very hard cock.

“So, uh… You gonna get out of the way or what?” asked Axton gruffly, his eyes dark with lust.

Jack raised his eyebrows skeptically at him, then sat up and gently maneuvered Rei’s legs to the side. He turned to face Axton.

“Come ‘ere, kid,” Jack ordered, curling a finger at the other man.

Axton shuffled forward obediently, thoughts only focused on getting the relief he so desperately needed.

“Yeah, I’m done sharing,” Jack breathed huskily, “but I’ll tell ya what…” He licked his palm and reached down between them to grab Axton’s cock. The commando grunted and bucked his hips at the contact.

“Ooh, are you gonna help him out, J?” giggled Rei, coming up behind Axton and draping herself over his shoulders.

“I sure am, kitten. I’m just a real nice guy, what can I say?” said Jack cheerfully, beginning to stroke Axton’s leaking cock. He reached up and curled the other hand around Axton’s jaw, holding it firmly.

“Look at me,” he ordered.

Axton kept his eyes shut, not wanting to ruin the sensations coursing through his groin by being eye to eye with the man who once tried to kill him.

“I said _look at me_ ,” Jack hissed dangerously.

Axton grudgingly opened his eyes and was met with the manic, fiery glare of one blue eye, one green. Jack’s stare chilled him to the core.

“Don’t forget who’s jerking you off right now, kid. When you’re beating it to this later in whatever shitty, filthy part of the galaxy you came from, just remember that it was Handsome Jack making you cum all over your stupid, pathetic self. Remember that I can kill you just as easily as I can get you off because you’re weak, Axton. You could try to stop me, if you wanted to. But you don’t want to. You’re like putty in my hands. _Now cum for me, soldier boy,”_ said Jack in an unnervingly calm and measured tone, as if he wasn’t jerking off a man he’d just tortured for hours.

Axton screwed his eyes shut again, trying to ignore Jack’s order, willing himself not to give in… But it was all too much. The fast, rough friction of Jack’s hand, Rei’s tongue gliding up his neck and over his jaw, her nails scraping across his chest, and Jack’s words, combined with his dominating presence, his face mere inches from Axton’s own, were all too much. Before he could stop himself, Axton was shooting rope after rope of warm, sticky finish all over his own stomach. He jerked and moaned in Jack’s hand, finally slumping forward, his head hanging low, breath coming in pants. Jack wiped his hand on Axton’s shoulder, grinning maliciously, then went to retrieve his pants and slip them on.

“So now that we’re all squared away here, let’s get down to business. What do we do with you, hmm, Axie? Does he live, or does he die? That’s the million-dollar question, isn’t it?” mused Jack, pulling his gun from its holster and spinning it around his finger.

“Maybe he’s ready to tell us who sent him. That might improve his odds, don’t you think?” said Rei sweetly.

“How about it, kid? You ready to talk, or would you rather take your chances?”

“I’m a gambling man. Love that adrenaline rush. So, in other words… you’re not getting shit out of me, _old man_ ,” laughed Axton, tauntingly.

Jack stopped spinning his gun, face suddenly contorted with rage.

“Oooh. Ok. Uh-oh. You just-” Rei began.

Jack drew back his fist and slugged Axton squarely in the gut with all his might, knocking the wind out of him. The commando bent double, clutching his stomach and gasping for breath.

“-made things worse for yourself.” she said with a sigh.

“ _Good_ … _arm..._ " wheezed Axton.

"Yeah. The age thing is kind of a sore spot for Jack."

"Not as sore as _he's_ about to be," muttered Jack under his breath, quietly fuming. 

“Ok, ok. Missteps aside, what are we going to do with him?”

“Well, first of all…” 

Jack snatched the abandoned handcuffs from the foot of the bed, and, taking advantage of the soldier’s momentary vulnerability after getting punched by what felt like a wrecking ball, wrenched Axton’s arms behind him and slapped the cuffs back on without much of a struggle.

“And now obviously I’m going to beat the ever-loving shit out of him until he gives me useful information, or he dies. We can do this the easy way, or we can do this the blah-blah-blah, too late, tough shit, you already chose, pal,” sneered Jack.

A sudden chiming came from Axton’s discarded pants on the floor. Jack cocked an eyebrow and slid off the bed to retrieve them, pulling the commando’s Echo from his pocket.

“Well I’ll be damned…” he breathed.

“Don’t answer tha-“ Axton began.

“Lilith! To what do I owe the pleasure? Have a nice nap?” said Jack cheerfully, picking up the call.

“Oh what the hell, why do you have Axton’s Echo, you prick?” said Lilith’s scowling hologram.

“I don’t know; why don’t you ask him? Axie, baby, say hello.” Jack turned the Echo’s camera towards him, still naked, collared, and cuffed on the bed.

 _“AXTON!_ NOT. AGAIN,” yelled Lilith in frustration. She pressed her finger tips between her eyes, squeezing them shut momentarily.

He hung his head sheepishly, avoiding the hologram’s fierce glare.

“Sorry, Lil.”

“You had one job. ONE. Kill them. Not fuck them. KILL THEM. You couldn’t even stop them from drugging me and Roland! Is it too much to ask that you keep it in your pants for just one night? JESUS!”

“I mean, come on Lil, we both knew this would probably wind up just being a scouting mission, unless an opportunity presented itself. And it did!”

“And you _still_ fucked it up,” she hissed.

“Woah, woah, woah, can we go back to the part about this little shit stain trying to kill us? You hired sweet cheeks here to be your assassin?” asked Jack incredulously.

“Yeah, what of it, Jack?” grumbled Lilith.

He was silent a moment, staring at the hologram in surprise. Suddenly he burst out laughing, cackling so hard that he bent double and clutched his sides.

“Nice work, cupcake! You really know how to pick ‘em,” he said, wiping a tear of mirth away from his eye. Then his voice dropped about two octaves, the laughter abruptly disappearing from his face. “I think we’ll keep him,” he said, his voice quiet and deadly.

“What? No! You can’t-“

“Eye for an eye, sweetheart. You try to fuck us, we try to fuck you… And then we all just end up fucking poor Axton. Well, mostly just me, actually.”

“No, Jack, wait, we’re willing to negotiate,” said Lilith frantically.

“You got a vault key, princess?”

“No…”

“Well then you’ve got nothing I want. And I suggest you don’t come anywhere near the VIP floor unless you want to tango with fifty Badass Loader Bots, ten turrets, and my main man, Wilhelm. He’s around here somewhere. Who knows, maybe he’s even on his way down to you already! Ciao!”

“Wait! What about-“

Jack hung up the call.

“So much for that truce, huh? What a cunt,” he said, turning to Rei.

She had pulled a pack of cigarettes from the bedside table and had one dangling from her mouth, and was now sitting with her back against the headboard, arms crossed, glowering. She pulled a lighter from the pack and lit her cigarette, inhaling deeply, then exhaled a slow, steady stream of swirling smoke.

“That bitch. I made sure you didn’t kill her, or even harm her, just so she could send an _assassin_ after us? Un-fucking-believable.”

“That’s what people do, kiddo. They’ll smile to your face while stabbing you in the back. Although… this guy wasn’t much of an assassin, now, was he?” he said, ruffling Axton’s hair.

“You two gonna kill me, or what?” grunted Axton.

“Honestly? Haven’t decided yet. Make yourself useful, and who knows, maybe there’s a job for you at the Rhysie Pole. You definitely won’t be a free man ever again, though, that’s for sure. Now, as much as I want to stay and play, we should probably put some distance between us and the fire-bitch. Get dressed, kitten.”

“Back to Helios?” she asked, flicking her cigarette.

“Yep. Looks like we’ve got some work to do,” he said, snapping the leash chain over Axton’s back like a whip and cackling as the commando howled in pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How ya like that, eh, buddy? Did you read it with the song playing?
> 
>   
> 
> 
> But no, seriously, was it good? Just asking for a friend...


	16. Knowing is Half the Battle*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “There’s something you want and an easy way to get it, but a consequence for someone else if you do. What are you going to do, Rei? This is how we find out if you’ve got the guts to run the show.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I totally and unabashedly lifted a line from "Big Mouth" because it was just too damn relevant. Whoever finds it gets a virtual high five and some finger guns.

The door to the Eridium research lab slammed open and Jack stomped in, absolutely fuming.

“FUCK!” he roared. “I HATE THAT GUY SO FUCKING MUCH!”

The R&D employees scattered, knocking over chairs and sending papers flying everywhere. Rei could have sworn she saw a guy vault himself through an open window into the hall. She sighed and looked up from her work.

“Who, Jack? Who do you hate today?" she asked wearily.

“ _Ax-hole_ ” he snarled.

“Oh. Well I already knew he was on your double-deep shit list.”

“He. Fucking. _Spit_ in my face.”

“Why?”

“Water boarded him.”

“Oh, Jack. _Why?_ ”

“Because he’s an uncooperative little shit. The Crimson Raiders know something about me and that’s all I can get out of him.”

“What’s that saying? You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar? Maybe I should talk to him.”

“Oh, you want to play good cop, bad cop, eh?”

“Something like that.”

“Yeah, well he was asking for you,” Jack grumbled angrily.

“What? Why?” asked Rei, raising her eyebrows at him.

“Don’t know. Wouldn’t say,” he grunted.

“Fine, well, let me finish up here and I’ll go down to see what he wants,” she said, gesturing at the lab equipment on the table.

Jack sighed loudly and perched on the edge of the table, watching her fiddle with a battery attached to a pair of wires. At the end of each wire was a tiny clip, and between those clips lay Lilith’s skin sample in a petri dish. 

“So this is either going to work, or fry my sample to shit, in which case we’re fucked,” she said casually.

“What’s going to work?”

“Check this out, space cowboy,” she said, grinning up at him.

She flipped the battery on, sending a volt of electricity crackling down the wires into the strip of blue flesh. It began to glow, slowly rising into the air and hovering there, radiating electricity.

“Yes! IT LIVES!” she cried gleefully, pumping her fist in the air.

“Woah…” Jack murmured, letting out a low whistle.

Jack, enraptured by the swirling, purple crackles of electricity and the luminescent blue flesh, reached out to touch the levitating tissue. Rei batted his hand away.

“Are you shitting me? Don’t touch it, you will _obviously_ get electrocuted,” she huffed exasperatedly, flipping off the battery, the sample gently floating back down. 

“It’s just…how?” 

“Eridium and biometals.”

“Bio-what-now?” he asked, narrowing his eyes.

“Biometals. Metals naturally occurring within a living organism. It turns out that Sirens have an abnormally high level of biometals, whose conductivity amplifies the naturally occurring electricity within the human body. The tattoos are made of…some kind of mineral akin to Eridium. Not sure exactly what it is yet, but I know it’s also organic to their bodies. Spike all that with some concentrated Eridium, and boom. You’ve got Siren powers.”

“Kitten…this is amazing… _you’re_ amazing,” he breathed, gripping the edge of the table.

“Don’t get too excited just yet. The amount of electricity and metal needed inside the body would kill a normal person, and I’ve got no idea what effect our mystery mineral would have on a regular human. I’ve still got a lot of work to do.”

“Well, you’ve done great so far, so take a break. Let’s go talk to soldier boy,” he said, sliding off the table and heading for the door.

Rei pulled off her glasses and tossed them on her desk, following Jack out the door and to the elevator.

When they reached Hyperion’s holding cells, a prison like structure with five tiny, barred enclosures, Jack stopped just outside the door and pointed to the first cell on his left.

“He’s in there. I’ll be right here in case he tries anything.”

Rei shrugged and approached the cell, a guard unlocking the door for her. 

Axton, dirty and disheveled, sat on the edge of a dingy cot, hunched over with his arms on his knees, head hanging low. His ankle was shackled to an iron loop in the wall, his hands cuffed together in front of him. He looked up when she approached, revealing a black eye and a split lip, which began to ooze a tiny drop of blood as he smiled at her.

“Well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,” he said, his voice weak and raspy. Two weeks in Hyperion’s jail had really done a number on him.

“Sure, whatever. So what do you want?” Rei said curtly.

“Just wanted to chat, darlin’.”

“Oh really? About what?” she asked skeptically, putting a hand on her hip.

“About you.”

“What? Why?”

“Just wanna know how someone like you wound up in a top spot at a place like this.”

“I’m good at my job, that’s how,” she snapped, eyes narrowed.

“Dealing drugs?” asked Axton slyly.

“Oh. You know about that, huh?”

“Yep. In fact, when I was still a commando for Dahl, the boys and I would snag some of that Eridium laced speed you cook up whenever we were on Pandora. Gave us a real boost on the battlefield.”

“So you’re a customer,” she said disinterestedly.

“Which is why, when you vanished from Pandora, I was damn curious where you went. At first I thought Vallory took you down, ending the Rei versus Vallory turf war once and for all. But when your weird little drug concoctions kept popping up all over the galaxy, I figured you were still out there somewhere. And now here you are.”

“Ok. So?”

“So how does a poor, Pandoran-born drug lord with a barely plausible PhD end up a high ranking scientist for the very company who claims she and all her fellow Pandorans are all scum? You barely had enough money for the shuttle ticket when you left, what with Vallory forcing your business underground.”

“How do you know all this?” asked Rei uncomfortably.

“We’ve got a file on you. Lilith contributed a lot. She calls it the “Bitch File”,” he said with a wheezing laugh.

“Ah. Great. Well you know what? What you’re born into doesn’t necessarily dictate the trajectory of your life. And I might have slit a few throats, but so have you.”

“Fair enough. So, about Jack…”

Rei shifted uneasily, knowing that if Jack hadn’t been paying attention to the conversation before, he certainly was now. Hopefully she could get something useful out of Axton.

“Yeah?”

“Why are you with him? He’s nuts.”

The question caught her off guard; that definitely hadn’t been what Rei had expected him to ask. If she was being completely honest with herself, it was never something she had really thought about before, either. She struggled to think of an answer other than, “the sex is really, really good”.

“We work well together,” she replied flatly.

Axton cocked an eyebrow at her. 

“Until he snaps and kills you, darlin’.”

“He won’t.”

“What makes you so sure?” 

Rei fell silent. She wasn’t sure. She was never sure.

“Look, if you’re trying to put a rift between me and Jack, it’s not going to work,” she huffed.

“I’m honestly just curious. He doesn’t seem like a loveable type of guy,” Axton said, shrugging.

“He’s alright,” said Rei, smiling in spite of herself.

“I don’t think you know him as well as you think you do,” Axton said softly, a hint of sadness in his voice.

“What is that supposed to mean?” she snapped, bristling. 

Axton’s voice dropped to a whisper.

“There’s something about him you should know, and I doubt he’s ever going to tell you himself. Jack has a si-“

The door to the cell banged open, causing Rei to jump.

“Sorry to interrupt, kiddo. I need to steal her from you,” said Jack with a piercing glare. 

“Can you give us a minute?” said Rei exasperatedly. 

Jack didn’t reply, he just scooped her into his arms and threw her over his shoulder, wrapping an arm around her legs so she couldn’t kick him. Rei yelped in protest, pounding her fists on his back, but for all the notice he took, she might as well have been gently poking him. Axton sneered up at him, hatred oozing from every fiber of his being.

“They feeding you ok, kiddo?” asked Jack flippantly, exiting the cell and kicking the door shut with a loud metallic thud.

“The catering is great, thanks for asking,” he retorted.

“Good. I’ll make sure that stops,” said Jack, cackling as he walked away.

Rei had given up on struggling and lay limply over his shoulder as he carried her down the hallway. After a few moments of silence, she licked her finger, reached up, and jammed it in his ear.

“HEY! Kitten, what the hell?” he said in annoyance.

“Yeah, Jack, what the hell? I was just about to find out what he knows. Nice work, doofus” she replied, equally annoyed.

“I already know what he knows,” Jack muttered through clenched teeth.

“And?” she asked, expectantly.

Jack didn’t answer. Instead he shoved a foot between the pair of closing elevator doors in front of him and shoved his way in. He slid Rei gently off his shoulder and lowered her to the ground, looking around at the other occupants of the elevator. Two suited men were pressed against the back wall, shooting nervous glances at Jack and Rei.

“ _What?_ ” hissed Jack, folding his arms over his chest.

The elevator dinged and the doors opened, the two terrified employees rushing out.

“Jack. What does Axton know?” asked Rei insistently.

“It doesn’t concern you, kitten,” he said gruffly.

“If it’s about you and the Crimson Raiders, it kinda does,” she shot back.

Jack’s shoulders tensed, his hands balled into fists, but he made no reply.

“Come on, Jack. You’ve got to tell me. I’m caught in the crossfire of something _you_ started. You think getting dragged into my shit with Vallory was bad? At least I can avoid her if I stay away from Pandora. But whatever is going here…this is serious. The Crimson Raiders are pretty good at getting the job done, from what I’ve heard.”

She was only met with more silence.“Jack. _Tell. Me._ ”

Rei suddenly found herself being thrown against the wall, Jack’s fist slamming into the metal surface next to her head. He towered over her, anger twisting his face.

“I said _it doesn’t concern you_ ,” he snarled venomously, clenching and unclenching his other fist.

Rei gripped the railing attached to the wall, looking up at him with wide eyes. She knew she was treading into dangerous territory; she could feel the fear right down to her bones. Axton’s words kept ringing over and over in her head; _“Until he snaps and kills you… Until he snaps and kills you… Until he snaps and kills you…”_ But rather than dropping the subject, as she knew she damn well should, Rei pressed further. She was Rei, after all. You can’t misspell “reckless” without “Rei”. 

“Fine. If you won’t tell me, I’ll just ask Axton when you’re not around,” she said defiantly.

“ _The fuck you will_. If I catch you anywhere near the holding cells- and I’ve got eyes and ears all over every inch of this place, so believe me, I will- I’m going to fucking kill him.”

It was not the answer Rei had been expecting. She had expected to receive at least a subtle death threat, but no. Jack threatened to kill Axton, not her. Axton. _Well there’s your answer, Axie That’s how I’m sure. Sort of,_ she thought smugly to herself.

“So what do I care? He was trying to kill us, anyway.”

“You care. You’re still soft, Rei. I’ve seen you kill a few guys, sure, but only because they forced your hand. Me? I’ll kill anything that moves. Just point and I’ll shoot. What’s that thing you said to me, once? “Survival first, power second, morality whenever it’s convenient”? Well it’s inconveniencing you now, Rei…” he purred, his voice dripping with poison and honey.

He reached down to stroke her cheek with his thumb, the rest of his hand hovering dangerously close to the back of her neck.

“There’s something you want and an easy way to get it, but a consequence for someone else if you do. What are you going to do, Rei? This is how we find out if you’ve got the guts to run the show.”

The elevator dinged and the doors slid open. Jack stepped out, leaving Rei frozen to the spot.

“You coming, kiddo?” said Jack brightly, all traces of the terrifying man who had stood before her mere seconds ago having somehow vanished.

“Mmhmm,” she said weakly, following him down the corridor.

“Good, because you pissed me off so much that now I’ve got a semi. Why does that always seem to happen with you? Ya make me mad, and then you stand there looking up at me with those big, dumb, adorably terrified eyes, and you just look so...fuckable. Shit, I’m making myself harder just thinking about it,” he said, already undoing his belt buckle as they crossed the threshold of his office.

Jack had her bent over his desk within minutes, pounding relentlessly into her. He grabbed her neck and pulled her up so she was flush with his chest, holding her there, forcing her to watch their reflection in the enormous window. Traces of the anger from before had crept back into his face, and his expression was dark and stormy, his lips curled in a snarl and his eyes boring into the eyes of Rei’s reflection. 

“Do you trust me, kitten?” he whispered in her ear.

It was a strange departure from the filth he normally whispered to her during sex, and a strange thing for Handsome Jack to ask in general, considering he, himself, trusted very few people, if any at all. 

“Y-yes…” she gasped out under his grip.

“Can I trust you? Can I trust that you’re not going to go digging around and just _let this be?_ ”

“I…”

Rei wasn’t sure how to respond, knowing she should lie for her own safety, but for the first time in her life, not wanting to. Fortunately, she was saved by a loud, exasperated groan behind them. 

“JACK! Why don’t you ever lock your _fucking_ door?! I’m so goddamn tired of seeing you with your pants down, fuck!” griped Rhys, standing in the center of the room, holding two coffees.

It was true; this wasn’t the first time Jack had asked Rhys to bring something to his office so he could walk in on them. He was surprised, but very pleased, that Rhys hadn’t become immune to it; that would just take all the fun out of his little game.

“Don’t just stand there like a fuckin’ creep, either join in or get out, Rhysie,” grunted Jack, still thrusting into Rei, who had begun to protest out of embarrassment, although not particularly hard.

“Uh...w-what? I….uhhhh….” he stammered.

Rhys took a few steps forward then stopped, frozen in his tracks. He abruptly turned on his heel and stomped towards the door, all the while muttering under his breath.

“ _This is a trap. Obviously a trap. There’s no way that asshole wants me to… Nope. Deffffinitely a trap_ ,” he grumbled. “Fuck you Jack, you lecherous old shit!” he called over his shoulder, knowing he’d definitely pay for it later.

Jack stretched out an arm in his direction and flipped him off, too consumed by his own lust to address the insult. But it seemed that Rhys’ intrusion was just the push he needed to send him spiraling to the point of no return, as he was soon moaning loudly and spilling into Rei, slumped forward on her back, his face buried in the crook of her neck. 

After a short while, he slowly disentangled himself from her. Breathing heavily, he pulled up his pants, and flopped down in his oversized, yellow armchair. Rei followed suit, lowering herself into a seat opposite his desk. She watched him for a moment, resting her chin on her hand in a quizzical manner.

“Why do you do that?” she asked.

“Do what, kitten?” said Jack, pulling a pack of cigarettes from his inner jacket pocket.

“Torment him like that. Rhys.”

“What? I’m not tormenting him, it’s a goddamn privilege to get to see my bare ass,” he said, lighting the cigarette dangling from his mouth and smirking at her. 

“Yeah, I don’t think he agrees. You know what I think?”

Rei got up and rounded the desk, plucking the cigarette from his mouth and taking a long drag.

“What do you think, kitten?” he said amusedly. 

She exhaled slowly, taking her time before answering.

“I think you’ve got a crush,” she purred, grinning slyly at him.

“Hah! Right. Handsome Jack doesn’t have “crushes”, babe. I see something. I want it. I fuck it. Done deal. And then I either like it and it’s mine, or I don’t and I get rid of it.”

“Sure, sure. Straight out the airlock, right? Well I think you’re full of shit. I’ve seen the way you flirt with him.”

“I flirt with everyone, princess. It’s my hobby.”

“You’re affectionate with him, though. It’s almost sweet sometimes. And then you go and say something shitty or lewd because you’re a callous, defensive, ill-tempered asshole,” she said, laughing. 

“A callous, defensive, ill-tempered asshole, huh? Well you don’t have to be with me if I’m that terrible, ya know. Which reminds me… I’m “alright”? Ax-hole says I’m not loveable and you defend me with, “he’s alright”? And “we work well together”? What the hell is that all about? Gimme the real answer, kitten. Why are you with me?”

“Well…You’re mean as fuck, but not to me, and I appreciate that. Also, sex,” she said, flicking Jack’s cigarette with a grin.

“Although true, I said I wanted the _real answer_ ,” he said, pulling the cigarette from her fingers.

“If you’re looking for an ego boost, I’m not gonna give it to you. Call up one of your fan-boys if you want someone to come slobber all over your metaphorical dick.”

“Cute, kitten,” he said humorlessly. 

“What do you care, though? I like you and I’m not trying to kill you, isn’t that enough?”

“Better than nothing,” he said, pulling her into his lap and kissing her in an unusually gentle way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm kind of proud of my pretend science on this one. It's kind of legit, right? How do you guys feel about it?
> 
> Anyone find that line from "Big Mouth"?


	17. Locks and Keys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “My froyo!” he whined, looking sadly at the mess at his feet. 
> 
> Rhys is having a hard day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's funny that the text conversation that inspired one of my favorite lines from this chapter was actually about claptrap. Check it out on my Tumblr: 
> 
> https://almost-jack.tumblr.com/post/639355329820426240/i-get-a-little-heated-when-someone-brings-up

“Please, Rei. Please,” pleaded Lilith, her voice tinged with desperation.

Rei was stretched out on the cool metal surface of the Hyperion Headquarters’ rooftop, her legs dangling over the edge. She swung her feet idly, smirking at Lilith’s hologram as it paced around the space of the little projection from her Echo. 

“Are you begging me, Lil?”

The hologram stopped pacing and glared at her.

“Is that what needs to happen here for you to be willing to save a good man’s goddamn life?” she snarled.

“You did try to kill me and my boyfriend recently, and I’m still a little miffed about it…so yes. Beg me, Lil.”

“ _Fine_. Please, Rei, help me rescue Axton. Please, please, please, I’m begging you, I’m gravelling, I’m desperate. You’re my one and only hope. Please help me.” 

“Well that was…insincere. I’m not sure what you want me to do about it, anyway.”

“I don’t know, you’re a big shot over at Hyperion, aren’t you? Couldn’t you just order one of your lackeys to set him free?”

“Not unless they’ve got a death wish. I’m only top dog in the R&D department, and even then, I’m not _management_. I do my own thing, I don’t really give orders outside the lab. Even if I did have some clout here, I’m sure as hell not going to take away Jack’s favorite new toy.”

“ _Really?_ You’d sacrifice a man’s life to keep Jack happy?” Lilith asked incredulously.

“Depends on the man,” said Rei slyly, smirking at her.

“Has being with Jack made you more evil, or did you manage that all by yourself?”

“A little from column A, a little from column B. So are we done here? I can’t help you.”

“ _Please!_ Please, Rei,” said Lilith exasperatedly, screwing her eyes shut and rubbing her forehead with her palm. “What if… What if I could offer you something in return? Something you both want.”

“I’m listening.”

“A vault key.”

“ _A what?_ ” snapped Rei, sitting up abruptly.

“We have a vault key. Do you want it?”

Rei’s eyes narrowed. 

“There’s no way you’d willingly give that up, even if you are desperate to get soldier boy back.”

“Consider it a rental. We’ll get it back eventually,” said Lilith smugly.

“Fine. I’ll talk to Jack about it, but I’m not making any promises.”

“Thank you, Rei. I sincerely appreciate that,” said Lilith, letting out a sigh of relief.

“Whatever. See ya, red,” she said, ending the call.

She lay back down, putting her arms behind her head, staring up at the starry expanse of endless blackness above her. She sighed, feeling a bubble of anxiety rising in her chest. It felt as though all of Jack’s plans, everything he wanted, his very well being, hinged upon her. She somehow had the key to it all; the eridium research, the siren powers, the vault key… The only thing she couldn’t give him was the vault. Rei let her eyes drift close and tried to think about something else.

“Kitten, what are you doing up here?” said a voice above her.

She didn’t open her eyes; she already knew who the voice belonged to.

“Trying to get a little peace and quiet and _privacy_ from your goddamn spy cameras all over the place.”

She heard a rustle and a thud behind her, then suddenly felt Jack’s breath on her face. She opened her eyes to find him on all fours, leaning over her, his face upside down and inches from her own.

“Am I interrupting?” he asked with mock concern.

“ _Yes._ How the hell did you find me? I thought I found your one fricken blind spot.”

“There’s still cameras by the doors, you know. Saw you go out. Thought you might jump on me. So I came up here to laugh at you when you realized that there’s not enough gravity for a fall to kill ya.”

“Nice, thanks.”

He leaned down and kissed her forehead, then slid to sit on the edge of the roof next her. 

“Classic Jack, a taunt and then kiss. Just waiting for the defensive follow up insult,” she teased. 

“I think you just made it all by yourself, kitten,” he said unconcernedly, leaning back on his hands.

“Well,” she said, sitting up, “now that that’s out of the way, I’ve got some good news.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. And some bad news.”

“Good news first. Hit me, kitten.”

“I found you a vault key.”

“ _You what?!”_ he gasped, eyes looking wild.

“And now the bad news. It’s with the Crimson Raiders and we have to let Axton go to get it.”

Jack let out a furious groan and slammed his fist down on the roof. 

“FUCK. Goddamn fuckin’ thorn in my side, shit-eating, cock-sucking, motherfucking Crimson Raiders!”

“Wow, that was almost poetic,” she teased.

“Shut up, kitten. I’m debating just storming their headquarters and taking the damn thing myself. Wait, why am I _not_ doing that? I have a whole friggen army at my disposal.”

“Because they win every fucking time. I don’t know how, it doesn’t make any sense, but they always do. Maybe let’s try the non-lethal option for once, since we actually have one this time.”

“So you think I should just let Ax-hole go and, fingers crossed, that decision won’t come back and bite us in the ass? Or kill us?” Jack scoffed. 

“Oh, no, it definitely will. But I think you did a pretty good job of making sure Axton stays away from Helios for a long, long time. Let’s worry about the vault key, for now.”

“Fair point. So. I guess we should go tell him the good news,” he said resignedly.

“Ooor…we could let him rot down there a bit longer and fuck on the roof,” she said putting a hand on his chest and pushing him down on the cold metal.

“You always know just how to cheer me up, kitten,” said Jack, grinning and pulling her down on top of him.

\----

Jack arranged for a shuttle to take Axton back to Pandora early the next morning. He had intentionally neglected to tell Rei, trying to keep her as far away from Axton as possible, lest he get a chance to spill Jack’s secret. He didn’t know where the Crimson Raiders had picked up that piece of highly guarded information, but he had other things to worry about, like getting Axton off his space station _immediately_ , key or no key. 

“Alright, soldier boy. Get the fuck out of here,” growled Jack, unlocking Axton’s handcuffs and shoving him through the doorway of the shuttle.

“Well, it’s been fun. Thanks for putting me up, Jack,” said Axton with a sly grin.

Jack’s eyes narrowed as he evaluated the commando before him. Axton looked gaunt, his eyes sunken, bruises and cuts littering his body. One hand was even in a splint, Jack having crushed it under the heel of his boot out of frustration with the soldier. 

“Cut the sass, kid. You’re the luckiest man alive right now, getting to walk out of here in one piece. If it wasn’t for Rei, your head would be a trophy on my mantle,” he sneered.

“Yeah, I still need to thank her. Where is she?”

“None of your concern, kiddo. You stay the fuck away from her. And don’t even think about contacting her over the Echonet, either, because I _will_ find out. I’ve got my ways.”

That wasn’t entirely true, _yet_. He was going to have to consult with Rhys, hacker extraordinaire, and see what he could do about that.

“Well I’m shook,” taunted Axton. “So I take it you figured out what dirt we have on you. Nice work. So are you ever going to tell her? You can’t keep it a secret forever.”

Jack tensed, his fists clenched, desperately resisting the urge to punch Axton. Instead, he settled on grabbing the soldier by the throat and pulling him close.

“ _Get the fuck off my space station, before I hunt down that ex-wife of yours, shoot her in the goddamn face, and skull- fuck whatever bits and pieces are left,_ ” he hissed with every ounce of menace he could summon. 

Jack threw him backwards into the shuttle, cackling when Axton tripped over himself and fell flat on his ass. Jack slammed the door on the stunned soldier.

“Have a nice trip, you son of a taint,” he muttered, flipping off Axton through the porthole in the door and stomping off to the elevators.

Minutes later, Jack was storming through the coding department, throwing out a hand to purposely knock items off of nearby desks as he passed. The door to Rhys’ office was already open wide enough for him to pass, but he gave it a forceful kick anyway, smashing it against the wall as he entered. Rhys jumped, flinching so hard he dropped the little paper cup he had been holding. 

“My froyo!” he whined, looking sadly at the mess at his feet. 

“Shut up. I have a job for you,” Jack seethed. He slammed his open palms down on Rhys’ desk and leaned in close, speaking as quietly as he could manage in his enraged state. “I need you to hack Rei’s Echo.”

“What? Why? If this is a jealousy thing, I’m not helping you. You need to learn how to communicate.”

“No, dipshit. This is a do-it-or-you’re-fired thing. Don’t you goddamn dare ask me why.”

“Come on Jack, I can’t get involved in your relationship. Just _talk_ to her. I’m sure you can work it out,” said Rhys uncomfortably.

“Ok, let me revise that. Do it, or I’ll kill you. Ok? Comprende, pumpkin?” snarled Jack.

Rhys swallowed hard, his eyes darting between Jack’s hulking, seething frame towering over his desk and the door, as if contemplating making a run for it. But he knew better than to tempt fate; he had once seen Jack fall seven stories, get up, and continue chasing the man who’d pushed him.

“Fine. But I’m really not happy about this,” he said resignedly. “What do you want me to do once I’m in?”

“Block all incoming and outgoing signals from any comm with a GPS footprint on Pandora in the last 15 years. Make sure, no matter where the Crimson Raiders go, they can’t contact her.”

“Ok... Does this have anything to do with Axton? I don’t think she’s going to run off with a guy she helped you torture and kidnap...”

“Shut. Up. _Rhys_ ,” he hissed.

“Ok, ok, relax, I’ll get it done,” he said, turning to his computer, the incessant tapping of his rapid typing filling the room. 

“Good. You’re coming with me to Pandora tomorrow, by the way.”

Rhys’ eyes snapped to Jack and his fingers froze over his keyboard.

“Seriously? You know guns and bandits aren’t my thing. Why aren’t you taking Rei? She’s good at that stuff.”

“Because I’m taking you,” Jack said stubbornly, folding his arms over his broad chest and shooting Rhys a glare, as if daring him to inquire further.

“ _Because you can’t bare to be alone with yourself_ ,” muttered Rhys under his breath, resuming typing.

“Sorry, pumpkin? Did quite catch that,” said Jack, eyes narrowed dangerously.

“Nothing, Jack,” Rhys sighed wearily.

“That’s what I thought, Rhysie. We have a meeting on Pandora at five tomorrow, be ready to go at two,” he said, turning to leave.

Jack paused in the doorway and fished in around in his pocket for a moment, pulling out his ever-trusty switchblade, and flicked it open. Rhys looked up from his screen, his eyes meeting Jack’s fiery stare. They held each other’s gaze for a moment, until suddenly Jack flipped the knife into the air, caught it, and plunged the blade into the headrest of a nearby chair. 

“Do _not_ tell Rei about any of this, or that’ll be your face next time. Keep the knife. I have plenty.”

Jack stalked out, shoving an intern into a filing cabinet on the way.

\-----

Rei tapped her foot impatiently, waiting for the elevator to arrive. When doors finally slid open, she stepped in, eyes glued to her Echo as she poured over the latest lab report that had been submitted to her. She was still struggling to analyze the mineral she’d found in Lilith’s tattoo, and the other researchers weren’t making much progress, either. It was incredibly frustrating. 

“How’s it going, Rei?” said a deep voice.

She had known she wasn’t alone, but she hadn’t realized just who else was in the elevator car, and she definitely recognized that voice. Her eyes snapped up to find Hugo Vasquez, leaning against the wall and smirking down at her. She inwardly groaned.

“Fine,” she said shortly.

“You know, I was actually thinking of paying you a little visit. I need a couple things.”

“I already told you, buy through one of my guys and quit bugging me. I don’t have time for your shit,” she said in irritation. Of all the times that the greasy asshole had chosen to harass her, it had to be now. Of course. 

“Look, lil’ lady, I’m not going to go dragging my ass all over Helios when you’re just a few floors down. I suggest you work with me, here,” he drawled.

“Or what? You’ll tell Jack that I’m dealing? I think it’s a little too late for that, hun. Jack knows and he doesn’t care, so stop being a fucking dumbass” she snapped.

He faced twitched in annoyance and he took a step closer to her.

“I’m so _sick_ of your blatant insolence. I’ve been with Hyperion three times longer than you, and you _will_ respect me,” he growled, grabbing her echo and tossing it aside.

“HEY! What the fuck, Vasquez?”

He made no reply, only shoved her against the wall with a forceful thud. His hand hovered over her neck.

“If you touch me, I’ll fucking kill you. Or Jack will,” she hissed.

He laughed. “Jack needs my connections down on Pandora. He’d never kill me.”

“I wouldn’t bet on it. So what are you going to do? Choke me to death?”

“Maybe…” he said quietly, his eyes glinting with anger and excitement.

As fingers began to close around her neck, Rei pulled back her fist and swung, connecting with his jaw. He cried out in pain and stumbled back. She started swinging blindly, punching any part of Vasquez she could reach until he gave her swift a knee to the stomach. She bent double, sinking to her knees, just as the doors opened. A short, skinny man with a goatee and rectangular glasses stared at the two of them, eyes wide. Hugo leaned down to hiss in Rei’s ear; she could already see the beginnings of a bruise ghosting over his cheek.

“This isn’t over. You are _so fucked_ ,” he whispered menacingly, before straightening up and walking briskly past the bespectacled man, shoving him out of the way.

“Uhh…are you ok?” asked the man, holding out a hand to help her to her feet.

“I’m fine. Thanks,” she said flatly, picking up her Echo up off the floor. 

“You’re, uh, bleeding pretty bad there,” he said, gesturing to the knuckles on her right hand.

“Nothing a drink and some tissues can’t fix.”

The elevator dinged and she stepped out gingerly, still sore from the knee to the gut. Blood dripped down her fingers and landed on the floor, leaving a trail of small droplets as she went.

“You know, I hate Vasquez too. Such a fuckwad,” the man called after her, smiling awkwardly. 

“A fuckwad, indeed,” she said, smiling back as the doors closed behind her. 

The smile immediately dropped from her face as she turned and strode down the hall, seething silently. She reached Jack’s private elevator, punched in his code, and entered. She leaned back against the wall, blood still oozing from her knuckles where they had connected with the bones in Vasquez’s face and the sharp metal badges on his chest. She officially wanted him dead, but she wasn’t about to tell Jack. Vasquez had just taken the turmoil to whole new level, and she wanted to handle this _personally_. A malicious grin crept across her face as she imagined all the ways she was going to tear him limb from limb.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's weird to hate Vasquez so much, but absolutely adore his voice actor. Anyone else have this problem?
> 
> How would you guys feel about a one-shot set sometime during this story in my AU, where Jack loses a bet and has to get his tongue pierced? Just a weird little idea I've mulling around.
> 
> Please comment, my loves, it makes me so happy ^_^


	18. Getting a Piece of the Rhacktion**

“What the hell happened to you, kitten?” asked Jack incredulously as she stomped through the door.

He was sitting on his huge, black leather sofa in front of small stack of papers, which he quickly shoved back into a folder and tossed aside.

“Got into a fight,” she said shortly. 

“With who? You need me fire someone?” he asked casually.

Rei raised an eyebrow, mildly surprised he didn’t fly into a rage or offer to kill anyone. But she wasn’t complaining.

“Don’t worry about it, I’m handling it.”

“Your knuckles say otherwise, kitten. Tell me who did that,” he demanded.

“It doesn’t concern you,” she hissed, throwing his own words from the other day back at him.

“Ok, ok, calm down,” he said, seeming to take the hint for once. “How can I help? Are you hungry?” he called out to her as she trudged into the bathroom.

“No,” she said flatly, cleaning her hand in the sink. 

The wounds were fairly superficial; nothing to worry about. She opened the medicine cabinet and pulled out antiseptic and a roll of bandages, making quick work of disinfecting and wrapping her hand. She walked back to the living room and threw herself down on the couch, slouching into the cushions and glaring at the images on the enormous, muted television.

“Wow, you’re in a pretty bad mood, huh, pumpkin?”

She stared at him a moment, now frowning in confusion instead of anger. Jack rarely called her anything but ‘kitten’ anymore, and especially not pumpkin. He generally saved that one for when he was being _particularly_ condescending. 

He put an arm around her and stroked her back gently, looking at her with great concern, then tentatively kissed the top of her head. Another red flag. Jack probably wouldn’t have reacted so tenderly unless she was grievously injured. She didn’t particularly care for it. 

“You’re in a pretty _weird_ mood… What’s up? You stoned? Get into my stash of molly again?” she asked suspiciously.

“A little stoned maybe, yeah,” he said, removing his arm to instead place it behind his head as he flipped channels, avoiding her curious gaze. 

“Ok... Whatever,” she huffed when met with a long silence, 

She scooted closer to him, dipping a hand underneath his warn, yellow sweater to play with the hair on his chest in the way he always liked. Sometimes it would soothe him so much that he would drift off into a peaceful slumber, but this time he startled and pulled away.

“Man, what is _up_ with you? You’re being so strange,” she said in exasperation. 

Whatever the reason for his odd behavior was, she knew exactly what would snap him out of it. She abruptly threw a leg over his lap, straddling him, and leaned in to lick and nip at his neck. He froze, and Rei could feel his pulse begin to race under her tongue. She started to lazily grind her hips over his crotch, waiting for his normal response, which would be to buck his hips and bury his hands in her hair. He did neither. 

She grabbed his jaw, holding it perhaps slightly firmer than necessary, and glared into his eyes. He held her gaze for a moment, then shifted his eyes away uncomfortably. He looked nervous. That settled it.

“Who _the fuck_ are you?” she said, her eyes narrowed.

“What? Kitten, are you alright? Did you also take a blow to the head? It’s _me_ , baby. Handsome Jack. Genius-hero-CEO and savior of Pandora.”

She reached down between his legs and grabbed his dick through his pants. Jack jumped and made a high pitched noise of surprise. He was still completely soft, a feat the real Jack could have never managed with her grinding on top of him.

“Yeah, I don’t think so. So which one of his doubles are you?” Rei demanded.

“Kitten, you’re being crazy. Knock it off.”

“Fine,” she said, responding to her own thought of, _”I guess we’re playing games now,”_ rather than what he had said. 

She slid off his lap and knelt between his legs, reaching for the supposed Jack’s fly. She popped the button and pulled down the zipper, observing his face intently. He was wearing underwear. _“You have got to be kidding me,”_ she thought, almost amused at how careless this double had been. Jack almost never wore underwear, and he had never once worn briefs; she didn’t even think he owned a pair. 

She began to slip her hand under his waistband when his hand came flying down and grabbed her wrist, a look of panic in his eyes.

“So? Which one are you?” she asked coolly.

“I…uh….w-what?” he stammered.

Rei let out a howl of laughter. She couldn’t imagine Jack having a woman between his legs, ready to blow him, and _stammering_.

“Well if that’s how it’s gonna be…” She leaned forward and mouthed his cock through his underwear. The man above her gasped sharply, releasing her wrists and putting both hands on her shoulders, pushing her away.

“Ok! Ok! Just stop, Jack’s gonna kill me!” he cried in desperation.

“Who. Are. You.”

“It’s Timothy, ok? God, I am so fucked. He’s going to kick the crap out of me for this one,” he said tipping his head back and pinching the bridge of his nose.

Rei removed herself from between his legs and stood, crossing her arms and looking down at him triumphantly.

“Why the hell were you trying to trick me? The two of you really thought I wouldn’t notice?”

“I can’t say why, or he will seriously, SERIOUSLY kill me. I’m not exaggerating. It’s literally the first thing he wrote on the instructions he gave me, and then he wrote it again at the bottom. One death threat in a note from Jack is just a threat; two death threats is a promise. Please, please, _please_ don’t make me tell you,” he begged, grabbing her hand and holding it between both his.

Rei wrinkled her nose and looked down at him in disdain, pulling her hand away.

“God, you’re pathetic. Fine. Don’t tell me, but I’ll find out eventually. How long is he going to be gone for?”

“Until late tonight, he’s going to stay with Rhys to avoid any, um, complications. Should I, uh… Should I go?” he asked cautiously.

“Hell, I don’t care. Do what you want,” she said, plopping down next to him and unmuting the TV. Timothy shifted in his seat uncomfortably.

“Are you mad at me?” he asked, something very childlike in his voice.

Rei sighed. “No, I’m mad at Jack.”

Timothy smiled, appearing relieved. “Good, well I’m not Jack.”

She looked him up and down, a mischievous glint in her eye. 

“No, you’re not, but how was I supposed to know?” she said, sliding her hand up his thigh.

“Yeah, yeah, very funny.”

“It wasn’t a joke. I’m not supposed to know you’re not Jack, right? Well the real Jack is usually balls deep in me by this time of night, every night. And the weekends are wild… I think we got up to ten times in a single day, once,” she crooned, palming his crotch.

Timothy blushed faintly.

“Great, well why don’t you tell that to his surveillance drone? That little robot vacuum? Ever wonder why it seems to be attracted to occupied rooms? Yeah. It’s multi purpose. And the controls are only accessible through Jack’s echo. Guy has trust issues.”

Rei smirked at him and began squeezing and stroking the outline of the hardening erection in his pants. 

“Ooooh mygodohmygodohmygod, I’m a dead man. And the only thing I ever did with my life was pretend to be that asshole. _And_ I wasn’t even good at it!” he moaned mournfully.

Rei’s hands were undoing his fly once again and sliding them down his hips, then suddenly pausing.

“Do you want me to stop?” she asked calmly.

Timothy bit his lip, a look of agony on his face.

“uhh...I don’t...n-no. Don’t stop,” he whispered tensely, scanning the room for the surveillance bot.

“Good,” she said, sliding off the couch and strolling away.

 _"What the fuck, Rei?"_ he called after her in bewilderment, his voice tight as a spring with frustration.

“Sorry Timmers, if you and Jack aren’t going to play fair, neither am I. Maybe tell him “no” next time he wants you to do something stupid, hmm?”

Timothy sighed in exasperation. “I literally _can’t_ tell him no, he put it in my contract.”

Rei shrugged. “Well that sucks. G’night!” she said cheerfully, opening Jack’s door and disappearing into the room. 

She had decided to take advantage of Jack’s absence to enjoy having his ridiculously huge bed all to herself, no Jack to selfishly starfish in the center, or accidentally wake her up in the middle of the night when he grunted and thrashed at a nightmare.

Timothy groaned loudly and slumped forward, face in his hands. He wondered if his half-assed attempts to stop Rei’s teasing would be enough for Jack to want to put him six feet under. If that wasn’t, the fact that he had botched the whole charade definitely was.

“ _I’m a dead man. I’m a dead man, and I didn’t even get laid! Why are they like this?_ ” he groaned into his hands, before letting himself fall to one side with a thud, curling up into a ball of desire and despair.

\-----  
Rei awoke the next morning to find Timothy already gone, a note stuck to the fridge. 

Went to the office to cover for Jack. He’s not back yet and no one can reach him, maybe you should try. I’m around if you need me. –Tim

She frowned, wondering where Jack could be. He was unpredictable and impulsive, sure, but he would have at least told Timothy if he was going to be gone longer than he initially planned, otherwise their ruse would likely have fallen apart. She wrapped her arms tightly around her torso, trying to suppressed the rising anxiety she felt with the dark cloud of Jack’s disappearance hanging over her head.

She walked over to the couch and dropped down on the cushions with thud, picking up the TV remote on the coffee table, when something square and yellow caught her eye. It was the folder Timothy had been leafing through last night stuck between the armrest and seat cushion of the couch. She pulled it out and flipped it open to find that the fist page was the note Jack had left for Timothy.

_Timtams-_

_Remember, not a word about Pandora and stay in goddamn character. if you fuck this up, I’m going to rip your fingernails off one by one and make you eat them, then beat you to death with my bare hands._

_I’ll be back late tonight, so I’ll just stay with Rhysie so things don’t get complicated. You can sleep in my bed with Rei, but don’t get any fuckin’ ideas, or I will…well you know, the fingernails and stuff. Read the other shit I gave you, memorize the new passcodes for the VIP tower, then shred them. Make sure you’re gone before Rei leaves for work at nine so we don’t cross paths in front of her._

_Again, hands off my girl. Don’t fuck this up. Remember that electric cattle prod Nisha gave me? Ever swallow one of those before? You’re probably too busy swallowing other things, come to think of it. HAH. GET IT? No really, I’ll kill the shit out of you if you screw up._

_Hugs n’ kisses,  
-Jack_

Rei stared at the note in disbelief. Jack had gone to retrieve the key and purposely hid it from her, and she couldn’t fathom why. This was absolutely the last straw; she was going to find out why Jack had been acting so strangely all week, even if it killed her. Little did she know, it very well might.

\----  
Jack sped through the scorched Pandoran desert, the blistering sun glinting brightly off his aviator sunglasses. His black sports car stirred up enormous clouds of burnt orange sand behind them as he tore across the desolate landscape. Rhys sat in the passenger’s seat, chewing on his thumb nail anxiously. The last couple times Jack had dragged him down to Pandora hadn’t gone well; the trouble Jack normally attracted seemed to increase tenfold as soon as they stepped foot on the planet.

Suddenly, Jack jerked the wheel and swung the car into a hard turn, hitting something with a loud thud and throwing Rhys against the passenger side door. Before Rhys could scream at him, asking what the hell he was trying to do, Jack leaned halfway out the window, arm outstretched as he flipped off whatever he had just run over.

“HOW’D MY CAR FEEL ON YOUR FACE, BUDDY?” he shouted, laughing maniacally. “Fuckin’ hate spitter skags,” he said, ducking back into the car and grinning wickedly at Rhys.

Rhys turned to the rear window to find a flattened spitter skag pup lying in a bloody heap in their wake. He rolled his eyes and sighed, but said nothing. This was Jack’s idea of fun, and Jack being playful meant he was in a good mood. Rhys wasn’t about to ruin that, mostly for his own sake.

Jack screeched to a stop just outside the city limits of Sanctuary, pulling off his shades and tossing them on the dashboard while sliding out of the driver’s seat.

“Alright Rhysie, let’s make this quick. I don’t want to be on this trash planet any longer than I have to. Move it!” he barked impatiently as Rhys grudgingly followed him into the city.

Minutes later they were sliding into a booth at Moxxi’s bar, drinks in hand. Lilith and her crew hadn’t showed up yet, but Jack was early and couldn’t fault them for it. He sighed grumpily, resting his head on his palm and drumming his fingers against the side of his beer bottle. 

“Hey Rhysie, how’s that girl of yours? What was her name? Casey? Lacey?”

“Oh, you mean Stacy? Wow, Jack, that was three years ago. Haven’t spoken to her since.”

“No wonder you’ve always got a stick up your ass. You need to get laid, kiddo! I’d be more than happy to help…”

“How you’ve run Hyperion for all this time without getting a sexual harassment lawsuit is beyond me,” said Rhys rolling his eyes.

“Well look at you, acting like you don’t want it, when we both know how much you do,” said Jack smugly.

Rhys scowled, knowing Jack had him there. Seeing the smirk spread across his face made him wish he could take back that blow job.

“Come on, pumpkin, the bathroom is right over there… We could at least make this trip fun and have ourselves a quickie,” Jack purred,

Rhys hated how much he liked the sound of that idea. He blushed faintly and glared exasperatedly into his drink.

“And what about your _girlfriend_?” he asked, clearly unamused at Jack’s teasing.

“Oh, she’ll get a turn with you eventually, Rhysie, don’t you worry,” Jack said coyly. 

“Right. Quit fucking with me,” he mumbled.

“I’m not joking around here. Let’s do this, kiddo, time’s a-wastin’.” Jack slid out of the booth and headed towards the bathroom, not bothering to look if Rhys was following. He knew he was.

“Lock the door,” ordered Jack. 

Rhys clicked the lock and turned to eye him skeptically, hands on his hips. He opened his mouth to berate him, but before he could get the words out, Jack was grabbing him by the front of his shirt, pulling him into a rough, heated kiss. He snaked a hand into Rhys’ hair and tugged sharply, making the young man shudder, while the other hand found its way down to Rhys’ ass and forced their hips together.

“Ya like that, cupcake?” he asked huskily, grinding his growing bulge against Rhys’ crotch. “Is this what you think about when you’re jerking it to one of my posters? Aren’t you a lucky boy, getting your fantasies fulfilled. Got any special requests, sweetheart?”

“Just one: _shut up and fuck me, you asshole_ ,” snapped Rhys, tired of being toyed with and irritated that Jack was somewhat correct.

“Gladly,” growled Jack, spinning him around and shoving him against the sink, making Rhys gasp sharply as the edge slammed into his stomach.

He roughly undid Rhys’ belt and yanked his pants down, then popped opened the buckle and fly on his own. He rubbed his staggeringly hard cock against the cleft of Rhys’ ass, fumbling for something in his pocket. Rhys watched him in the mirror through glazed eyes as he produced a tiny bottle of lube and flipped open the cap. Then it dawned on him.

“You planned this, didn’t you?”

“So what if I did?” asked Jack with a smirk.

“I mean, you had plenty of other opportunities to fuck me somewhere other than a grimy dive bar bathroom. Why would you choose- _oh…_ I get it. This isn’t about me, is it? You’re trying to piss off Moxxi again. Great,” he griped.

“Two birds with one stone, Rhysie,” cooed Jack, leaning in to lick a hot, wet stripe up his neck, a hand caressing the small of his back. “Is that a problem for you, pumpkin?” 

Rhys shifted uncomfortably, wanting to say yes, realizing Jack intended to make a scene, but he knew that was a lie. He sighed, thinking that he might as well enjoy the inevitable. Rhys shook his head.

“Good boy,” purred Jack. He abruptly forced him down, bending Rhys at the waist over the sink, and slipping a lube coated finger between his cheeks to toy with the rim of his tight hole.

Rhys tried to stifle a moan, but couldn’t entirely suppress the soft noise in the back of his throat. He felt Jack grinning broadly against his neck, his teeth grazing over the circular tattoo a few inches above his collar. His sunk his finger into the tense ring of muscle, making Rhys moan in earnest this time. After a few pumps, he inserted another. Rhys sucked in his breath sharply, the burning sensation intermingling with a pang of lust deep in his stomach. It would have been too soon, had Rhys not already been aching for Jack’s touch.

Jack worked him up to a third finger quickly, then abruptly pulled out, replacing his hand with the head of his dripping cock.

“You want it, Rhysie? You want big, bad Handsome Jack to fuck the living daylights out of you?” he crooned.

“YES, come on, we don’t have all fuckin’ day!” grouched Rhys, too impatient to let Jack stroke his own ego any longer.

“Hmm. We’re going to have to do something about that attitude, cupcake, and I know just the thing…” Jack murmured darkly, lining himself up with Rhys’ entrance.

He teased it for a moment, sneering down at him, then swiftly thrust himself inside, making Rhys yelp. He groaned loudly as he was surrounded by the heat of the young man’s body, Rhys’ taut walls sending waves of pleasure through his member as he squirmed beneath him. Jack dug his fingers into the flesh of his hips, forcibly moving his body in time with his violent thrusts. Rhys let out a wail and promptly clamped his hand over his mouth, blushing furiously, making Jack chuckle. He reached down and pulled Rhys up by the neck, pressing him against his chest and leaning down to mumble a string of filthy taunts into his ear. 

“You take it like a champ, kid. Wrecking that pretty little ass of yours feels so god damn good. Are you this easy for everyone? Or is it just my cock that makes you moan?”

“J-just you, Jack. Only you,” whimpered Rhys, knowing exactly what he wanted to hear. 

“Hah, yeah, that’s right, sweetheart. I fuckin’ own you. Can’t wait to fuck you into my mattress while Rei watches,” he growled, reaching around to grabbed Rhys’ neglected cock.

Rhys’ hole immediately clamped down on Jack’s dick, the man letting out a long, obscene groan of satisfaction as he stroked Rhys’ aching cock quickly and aggressively, much the same as he would do for himself. 

“Fuck, Jack… I-I’m not… not gonna last much longer,” Rhys gasped between heavy breaths.

“I’m that good, huh, kid? Yeah, I know,” said Jack, trying to sound indifferent, but the strain in his voice suggesting otherwise. Rhys smirked at him in the mirror as he felt Jack’s cock throb tellingly.

“Doesn’t look like you’re gonna last, either, big guy. _”Am I that good?”_ ” he said mockingly. 

Jack glared at him, giving his neck a painful squeeze and picking up his pace, all coherent words replaced with groans and curses that reverberated against the walls of the tiny bathroom. He shoved Rhys flat against the sink again, this time pressing a hand firmly between his shoulder blades to hold him there as he slammed into him with punishing force. Rhys was right; Jack felt the heat already pooling in his groin, his balls growing tighter by the second. He let out a guttural growl, chasing his release while continuing to tug Rhys along with him. 

“You want it, Rhysie? You want me to pump my load into you and make you cum on my dick?” he said gruffly, draping himself over Rhys’ back and sucking a bruise into his shoulder. 

The smugness disappeared from Rhys’ face, replaced by a look of lustful longing. 

“Yes, oh god, yes! Give it to me… _handsome_ ” he whispered, too embarrassed to meet Jack’s fiery stare.

Rhys had said the magic word. The word he constantly longed to hear, so much so that he had added it to his own name. He gave a few more vicious thrusts and came, pouring into Rhys and roaring like an animal. Rhys whined as he followed, his own orgasm spraying against the tiled floor. Jack collapsed on top of him, panting and spent. After a few moments of post-coital bliss, they separated, Jack tucking himself back into his pants, Rhys disappearing into a stall to wipe himself down. 

“Well, then, Rhysie. That was a good fuck. See you out there,” he said, as casually as if he were commenting on the weather. Rhys grunted in reply, head still swimming from being devoured by Jack.

Jack exited the bathroom, glancing over at Moxxi behind the bar, a self-satisfied look creeping across his face. She shot him a disgusted glare.

“Next time you pull that shit, I’m kicking you out, Jack,” she said calmly.

“Don’t be jealous, babe,” he sneered.

“God, you’re irritating. How did I put up with you for as long as I did?”

“I’m a great lay and you just couldn’t get enough, if I recall.”

“Oh, go fuck yourself with a crowbar,” she grumbled.

Jack cackled and sauntered back to his booth, only to find Lilith and August occupying the seat across from his abandoned beer. Brick, a gigantic, hulking, beast of a man, and Axton leaned against the backs of the benches. Brick was on Jack’s side and Axton on Lilith’s, like a pair of burly bodyguards.

“Nice of you to join us. You two have fun in there?” Lilith asked coolly.

“Oh absolutely, sweetheart. Had to find some way to pass the time while you kept me waiting,” he replied, taking a swig of his beer. “August! Well isn’t this a nice little reunion. Didn’t know you two knew each other.”

“We have a mutual friend,” August said curtly, his eyes following Rhys as he slid into the booth next to Jack. 

“Interesting. But, uh, why are you here? You kids having a playdate?” Jack asked flippantly.

“I’m the one who found your key, pal,” growled August.

“And then you…what? Sold it to the Crimson Raiders? I sincerely doubt they’ve got that kind of cash. So what’s your angle? You two expecting me to pay for it? Because we had a deal. I return Lilith’s toy soldier and she gives me the key.” 

“Yeah, about that. Turns out the key was a fake.”

“ _What?_ You made me drag my ass all the way down to this shithole planet for _nothing?_ ” hissed Jack, a hint of fiery rage boiling just under the surface. 

“Well, not for _nothing_ ,” said Lilith, smiling slyly.

Brick lunged at him, hooking his enormous, beefy arm around Jack’s neck in a chokehold and dragging him over the back of the seat. Jack gasped and sputtered for breath, thrashing in Brick’s grip. August drew his gun, pointing it at Rhys, who was now frozen in panic, eyes darting around wildly, looking for an escape. 

“Get up,” August commanded quietly, sliding out of the booth himself. 

Rhys obeyed and got to his feet, hands held high in surrender. A sudden howl of pain erupted behind him, and he turned his head ever so slightly to see Jack slashing a bloody hunting knife over whatever part of Brick he could reach, forcing the giant to release his neck. Jack darted away, grabbed Rhys by the back of his collar, and sprinted for the door. Rhys stumbled along behind him, attempting to regain his balance as he was dragged out of the bar. 

“GET BACK HERE, YOU LITTLE SHIT!” bellowed Brick, hot on their heels, Axton not far behind, and Lilith and August bringing up the rear.  
Jack managed a snicker despite the very real and present danger hurtling towards them. He couldn’t remember the last time anyone called him “little”. 

Brick hurled himself at the pair, slamming them to the ground and pinning Jack and Rhys under his massive form, his shallow wounds trickling blood onto the men trapped beneath him. The side of Rhys’ head bounced off a large chunk of upended, broken pavement with a sickening crack and he fell still, blood oozing down his temple. Jack roared in anger, struggling with all his might to free himself. He threw back his head and then slammed it forward into Brick’s face, smashing the man’s nose, and drawing a yelp and a stream of curses from his captor. 

“AXTON! HELP ME OUT, HERE!” Brick thundered, blood pouring from his nose and dripping even more crimson onto Jack’s already spattered face and shirt.

“Sure thing, buddy,” said Axton, who had been leaning on the door frame of the bar, watching the frantic men wrestle. He jogged down the stairs and grabbed hold of Jack’s hair, motioning for Brick to release him. As soon as the brutish man shifted his weight, Jack was flailing and snarling, trying to free himself from Axton’s grip. Axton dragged him to his feet, struggling to subdue him.

“That was awful mean, what you did to me at the Jackpot and Hyperion. Probably shouldn’t have let me go, honey,” Axton said with a crooked grin. He slammed his knee upward into Jack’s groin, sneering in satisfaction as he fell to the ground, bent double and clutching himself in agony. Axton, his hand still fisted in Jack’s hair, roughly pulled the groaning man’s head back in the same manner that Jack had inflicted upon him in the VIP suite. 

“We’re not even, but this is a good start,” Axton hissed, forcing Jack’s head farther back, as if he was hoping his neck would snap. 

“Gonna…kill you…. You goddamn…. fuck toy,” Jack panted, still stricken with pain.

“I think the kid got knocked out, Ax. What should we do with him?” asked Brick, now sitting back on his heels and examining Rhys’ motionless form.

“Eh, tie him up anyway. Grab the rope for me, will ya?”

Brick scooped up Rhys and tossed him over his shoulder, heading back into the bar. He returned a couple minutes later with two coils of rope and a roll of duct tape, tossing one of the ropes and the tape to Axton. Axton quickly and adeptly bound Jack, who was too distracted by the sharp, burning pain shooting from his balls into his abdomen to react quickly enough to defend himself. He wouldn’t be surprised if Axton had ruptured one of his nuts, making a mental to castrate the commando if he ever got the chance. 

“This isn’t over, you fucking bottom bitch, pile of human-“ 

“Hey guess what, darlin’?” interrupted Axton as he ripped a piece duct tape from the roll. “Shut up.” He slapped the tape over Jack’s mouth, using more force than necessary. 

“Here,” said Axton, throwing the roll back to Brick.’

“Ah, what’s the point, man? Poor kid is already unconscious. Probably has a pretty bad concussion” Brick said uneasily.

““Poor kid.” Right. Just do it.”

Brick shrugged and obliged, Rhys moaning faintly as his mouth was covered. Axton put a boot on Jack’s shoulder and shoved him roughly to the ground on his side. He stared at him maliciously for a moment, then kicked Jack hard in the stomach, the bound man’s groans muffled under the tape. Axton kicked him again, this time aiming for his ribs. Then he crouched down, took Jack’s chin in his hand, tipping his head up to lock eyes with him, before slugging him in the face. His captive let out a very audible howl, despite the gag. 

“Jesus, Ax! What did he do to you?” asked Brick in astonishment.

“I don’t…want…. _to talk about it,_ ” snarled Axton, still relishing Jack’s suffering. 

“Ok, pal, relax. Lemme take him from you before you kill him. We need him alive for while longer, remember?” Brick gently pushed Axton away from Jack’s crumpled form and raised the broken man with one arm, lifting him over his free shoulder.

August and Lilith rolled up in a battered Jeep, Lilith reaching behind her to open the passenger door for them.

“Get in. That was a nice beatin’ you gave the bastard, by the way. Very thorough,” said August, a nasty smile curling his lips. 

Brick laid a dazed, barely conscious Rhys on the floor, and dropped Jack into the seat between himself and Axton. August hit the gas, tearing down the crumbling street towards the outskirts of the city. 

“You know what I just don’t get?” asked Lilith, turning to stare wonderingly at Jack. “Why didn’t you bring any muscle with you?”

 _”Because I_ **am** _the muscle,”_ Jack thought furiously, wishing he could make his retort audible. He instead made a noise somewhere between a grunt and growl and glared venomously at Lilith.

“Hey Lil, you ever heard the phrase, “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth?” asked Axton.

“Yeah…” she replied, looking confused.

“So stop doing it, then,” he chuckled. 

She smiled and gave him a shrug. Lilith pulled out her Echo and brought up Vallory’s number, eager to tell her the good news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are really heating up, eh? Well hold on to your butts, this ain't shit. Drop me a line if there's something you particularly like and/or you want to see more of.


	19. The Coyote

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Did you guys know? Rei has her own goddamn theme song! 
> 
> "Worried about Ray" by The Hoosiers ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_DZ-ijJiKM )

Rei sat cross-legged in the middle of Jack’s bed, typing furiously on her Echo in search of anyone who might have seen Jack. So far, none of her Hyperion contacts had any information, and her Pandora contacts were proving just as unhelpful. She groaned and slumped forward, letting her head drop with a thud onto the Echo in her hands. The sudden chiming of an incoming call made her jump, nearly dropping the device as she scrambled to answer. The stocky hologram of a tall, large chested woman with white hair materialized before her. Rei groaned, wishing she had checked the caller ID before picking up.

“Vallory. To what do I owe the pleasure?” she said icily.

“Hello dear, it’s been quite a while, hasn’t it?” Vallory purred.

“Mmhmm. Can we just cut to the chase? I’m a bit busy, here.”

“Oh, I’m sure you are. But I think I can help.”

“Huh?” said Rei, brow furrowing in confusion.

“Looking for someone?” she asked sweetly.

Vallory turned her Echo to Jack and Rhys, lying bound and gagged on the concrete floor of what appeared to be some sort of hangar. Both were bloody, bruised, and battered, Rhys curled up in the fetal position with his eyes close. A massive bruise crusted with blood spread across his temple and his breathing was slow and shallow. Lilith and Axton stood guard behind them, Axton sneering and giving the Echo a little wave.

Rei’s mouth dropped open. Her day just kept getting better and better; all of the people who hated her most had joined forces to beat and kidnap the two people who were, perhaps, the closest to her. Poor Rhys wasn’t even involved in all this turmoil and he looked like they had done a real number on him. 

Jack caught sight of Rei’s hologram and immediately began vigorously shaking his head, his eyes wide with panic. August strolled into view and shoved a boot into Jack’s ribs, making him wince. Vallory turned the Echo back to her own face.

“What.. _the fuck_ is going on?” Rei hissed angrily.

“I think it’s pretty obvious, don’t you?” she cooed. “We’re spending a little quality time with your boyfriend and his little toy. I thought, perhaps, you might like to come join us.”

“I can’t think of anything I would hate more,” spat Rei.

“It wasn’t an invitation, dear. Either you come down to Pandora so we can settle your debts, or we’ll _happily_ kill Jack and…whoever the hell the skinny one is. I’ll tell you what, if you make it quick, I’ll let the string bean go.”

“And what about Jack?”

“He’s not mine to give away. Lilith, how do you feel about releasing Jack?”

Lilith looked at her for a moment, then burst out laughing.

“Sorry, honey, looks like it’s a “no”. 

“Uh-huh. We’ll see about that. And if you think I’m bringing you any money, you’re out of your damn mind, Val. You’ll have to pry it from my cold, dead hands.”

“That can be arranged,” Vallory said in a low, ominous tone. “So I’d get a move on if I were you. And do me a favor, come alone. If I see any extra bodies with you- robot or human- the deal is off and I’ll personally introduce all your friends to my new rocket launcher. Don’t want that on your conscience, do you, dear? I’m sending you the coordinates to the meeting spot.”

“Always a pleasure to hear from you, Val. Really spices up my day. Guess I’ll be seeing you soon. Oh, and I need _you_ to do _me_ a favor,” 

“And what would that be?” she asked, raising an eyebrow skeptically.

“Get bent, you wrinkly old sack of shit,” she said, laughing wildly at the expression on Vallory’s face and swiftly the ending the call. 

\-----

Timothy paced back and forth behind Jack’s desk, staring unseeingly at Elpis while his mind raced. He’d been trying to reach Jack for the last three hours, calling or texting him every fifteen minutes. It was completely out of character for him to hand over the keys to his kingdom without constantly checking in, let alone spend a second more than he had to down on Pandora. Getting the key shouldn’t have taken this long; Timothy had a nagging feeling that something had gone terribly wrong.

The door to the office suddenly flew open and Rei strode in, dressed very differently from her normal ripped, black jeans, slouchy tank top, and stained lab coat. She now sported a pair of black leather pants, knee high combat boots covered by metal shin guards, and matching chest and shoulder plates. Underneath the chest armor, she sported a black leather shirt that zipped in the front, with two yellow stripes crossing over the chest and looping around the shoulders and crossing over the back. A single sleeve extended over her left hand and looped around her middle finger, and she wore a thick, studded, metal bracer on her bare forearm, a thick metal cuff with a small knife hostler around her bicep. A silver chain with an odd, hollow, cylindrical pendant hung around her neck, the delicate ornament looking extremely out of place against the all the leather and steel she was sporting.

“Timmy, open Jack’s gun safe for me,” she said shortly, pointing to the giant, iron locker in the corner next to her.

“What? Why?” he asked nervously.

“I’m going to Pandora to get Jack and Rhys.”

“You found them?! What happened? Where are they?” he asked frantically.

“Vallory and the Crimson Raiders kidnapped them. Looks like they’re somewhere in the desert near Sanctuary, and Val is demanding I come down there to “repay my debts”, or she’ll kill them. But I know her; she’s using the money as a pretense to lure me into a fight. Not that I’d pay her without a fight, anyway.”

Timothy stopped pacing, his mouth falling open in horror. “Oh…oh god… no, no, fucking dammit, NO! Are you really gonna do it? You can’t. She’ll kill all three of you. She’s got the Crimson Raiders and her entire gang as back up, and you’re planning on fighting them all? No. That’s insane. _You’re_ insane!”

“It’s not like I have a choice. Come on, Timmy, chop-chop,” she said, tapping her foot impatiently. Timothy made a noise of apprehension in his throat and trudged down the stairs from Jack’s desk. He punched the code into the safe and pulled open the heavy door, Rei peering over his shoulder and examining Jack’s collection eagerly.

“Perfect. The more firepower I’ve got, the better,” she said, grabbing an SMG, a shotgun, a few grenades, and as many rounds as she could fit in her backpack

“Well… I can’t go with you, I’m sorry. No one can know Jack’s missing,” he said uneasily.

“You wouldn’t be able to come with me, anyway. Val said she’d shoot any “extras” on sight. And believe me, she will. Hell, she’s probably going to take a few shots at me just for fun when I show up,” she said indifferently.

She strapped the guns to her back and turned to look at Timothy, who had resumed pacing, sweating, muttering, and cursing, his terrified expression looking completely out of place on Jack’s face. Rei wished she could soothe him, but… She’d also rather not. This was the sort of thing Rhys was good at, where ever he was.

“Timmy...” she said gently, “I need you to arrange a shuttle for me. You gonna be alright?”

“Huh? Yeah, yeah, I’ll get right on it. I’m fine. It’s just… They’re _so_ obviously going to kill you. You’re walking right into their trap and you know it. How can you stand there so calmly, like you’re not about to get blown to pieces? Aren’t you scared?”

“I’m nervous, sure. But I knew my past would catch up to me sooner or later. You don’t go into my line of work expecting a happy ending. Don’t go planning any funerals just yet, though, I intend on making it back to Helios with both of those idiots _alive_.”

Timmy stared at her a moment, his eyes misting over. _“No…please, god, no, don’t cry Timmy… What the fuck does he want me to do?”_ , thought Rei, growing more uncomfortable by the second. Suddenly Timothy grabbed her and pulled her to his chest, hugging her tightly and resting his chin on her head.

“Oh…ok, buddy. Alright, alright. Everything is going to be fine,” she said patting him awkwardly on the back, her voice muffled as Timothy pressed her face into his chest. After a few moments of uneasy silence, he placed his hands on her shoulders and took a step back, looking down at her with watery eyes.

“If you die…and If Jack dies…I’m a goner. No one knows more Hyperion secrets than I do, and I guarantee I won’t last a week without him. His enemies are going to destroy me, _in the worst way possible_ ,” he whispered, a tear sliding down his cheek.

“Hey, now… Stop that. I’m bringing him back. Have a little faith in me, ok, TImTam?” said Rei reassuringly, reaching up to wipe the tear away with her sleeve. Timothy raised an eyebrow at her and smiled weakly.

“Sometimes I forget that you’re not just a tiny, less obnoxious version of Jack. Last time I had a near death experience, you know what he did? He put his arm around my shoulders and asked, _“Do you want me to fuck it better, Timmers?”_ ”

Rei laughed. “Yep, that’s his go-to. Works for me, though. Really takes my mind off shit. But for you, uh… Maybe not?”

“I gave in once… I don’t think I’ll be trying it again,” he said with a shudder. 

“Hmm. Maybe I’ll have a little chat with him about not shoving his dick into a man on the verge of a breakdown. And on that note, I really gotta go, Timmy. Time is not on our side.”

“Nothing is on our side,” he said wearily.

“Was it ever?” she asked with a crooked grin.

\----

Rei checked the coordinates on her Echo, then slowly slid out of the driver’s seat of the company car she had borrowed. She paused a few paces from the car, staring uneasily at the large, metal hangar looming ominously before her, the strong possibility of her own demise lurking just behind its doors. She pulled a small flask from the knife holster attached to her upper arm. The actual knife was tucked away inside her boot; she had her priorities. She tilted her head back and took a long swig. Still not quite ready to hurl herself into the skag pit in front of her, she also lit a cigarette to stall.

Rei leaned on the side of the car, smoking and bouncing her leg nervously, scanning the inhospitable landscape for any additional vehicles, searching for a hint as to how many people were waiting just inside the hangar to put a bullet in her head. Not a soul in sight or a sound to be heard, just the splash of rushing water from a nearby stream just below a cliff a short distance away.

A sudden, resounding crack behind her and an odd, faint whistling noise caught Rei’s attention. She turned to see a tall, shadowy figure standing on a dune in the distance, something large, bulky, and angular in its hands. A cloud of smoke surrounded the silhouette, and a cylindrical object burst through the haze, heading directly for Rei at an alarming speed. She stood, staring wonderingly at the blur zooming toward her, until the the realization dawned on her. Rei sprinted away from the car, hurling herself to the ground and covering her head just as the projectile collided with the vehicle in a deafening explosion, sending bits of fiery metal and rubber soaring in all directions. 

“GOD FUCKING DAMN IT, VALLORY, THAT WAS A RENTAL!” she screamed at the woman now striding toward her, irritated that her Hyperion insurance premium was going to take another hit. Rei gingerly got to her feet, spitting out sand and kicking away burning bits of shrapnel. She examined the shallow cuts on her hands and arms, irked at herself for standing there like an idiot; she should have expected this. In fact, she _had_ expected this.

“Welcome home, dear,” cooed Vallory, a rocket launcher balanced on her shoulder.

“You. Bitch. Tell me, how were you planning on getting paid if you had blown me up just now?”

“Watching the skags pick your bones dry would have been payment enough, but I guess we’ll be sticking to the plan. Do you have my money?” she purred. 

“Do you have my doofuses?” 

Vallory frowned and rolled her eyes, then brushed past Rei and banged her fist twice on the hangar door. “Bring ‘em out, boys. Our friend is here.”

The door slid open and Brick appeared, carrying Rhys in his arms, with Axton in toe, dragging Jack through the sand behind him by the collar of his shirt. Lilith and August followed, both sporting large shotguns. Brick laid Rhys down about ten feet away from Rei, giving her an apologetic look. 

“He hasn’t been right since he hit his head… Didn’t know what to do for him. Sorry,” he mumbled sheepishly, kicking at the gritty, orange sand with his boot. 

Rhys looked a mess; he was deathly pale, half his face swollen and bruised, blood crusted around the sight of impact and his nose was dripping fresh blood onto his mouth and chin. His eyes were closed and his breathing was shallow, although he appeared conscious, given the tiny moans he made when Brick had set him down. 

“What the fuck are you apologizing for?” spat Lilith. “If the kid is seriously injured, it’s their own damn fault for getting him mixed up in this in the first place.” She turned to Rei. “And another one bites the dust, huh, Rei?”

Rei glared at her, turning her attention to Jack, who hadn’t faired much better, but was at least putting up a struggle. He was absolutely covered in blood, both Brick’s and his own, sporting a black eye so extreme that it was visible around the edges of his mask. His shirts were torn in several different places, revealing gashes that appeared to have been made by a large hunting knife, perhaps his own. A bruise in the shape of a large hand encompassed his neck, sparking a jolt of anger in Rei’s stomach; any marks on Jack’s neck should be from her and her _alone_. 

“If I were going to pay you, Val, it would be at a steep discount for _severly_ damaged goods,” she growled, thumbing the grip of the pistol strapped to her thigh. Jack struggled to turn towards her, making muffle grunts and groans. “I thought Jack’s release wasn’t on the table?” she asked.

“It’s not. But he has something to tell you. Other than ‘goodbye’, that is,” sneered Lilith. She nodded to Axton, who ripped the tape from Jack’s mouth. Jack let out a hiss as Axton pulled him to his feet.

“Go on, pal. The floor is yours,” jeered Axton, holding Jack’s bound form upright.

“Shut up, slut,” he snarled. 

Axton shook his head, smiling wryly. He slammed his fist into Jack’s back, winding him and knocking him face first into the sand. Jack turned his head to wheeze and spit blood and sand onto Axton’s boots.

“HEY! _That’s enough._ You know what, Lil? I see what’s going on here. This isn’t about protecting Pandora, anymore. Beating a bound man? Well that’s just petty vengeance, and I suggest you knock it off before things get out of hand,” Rei said in a low, dangerous tone. 

August let out a sharp bark of a laugh. “Ooh, very scary, half-pint. You _know_ that asshole deserves everything we’ve been givin’ him.” He put a boot on Jack’s back and pressed down hard, forcing the air from his lungs, leaving him frantically writhing and gasping. 

Rei drew her pistol and aimed for August’s head, locking eyes with him in an icy stare.

“Hah, right, right. You kill me and your friends die too. Go on, Babe. Try it,” he said, grinning amusedly.

She shrugged, then abruptly changed her aim to his arm and pulled the trigger before he even had a chance to blink. The bullet hit him squarely in the bicep, wrenching a howl of pain from the man and forcing him to his knees.

“YOU FUCKING BITCH!” he screamed, firing his own weapon wildly in her direction, his aim laughable as he could no longer raise his dominant arm higher than his hip. 

_“Wrong move, dear,”_ snarled Vallory, reloading her rocket launcher and taking a few steps closer to Rei. She paused to turn back to August, who was still making a spectacle of himself, firing in all directions, cursing, and bleeding. “STOP SHOOTING, YOU COMPLETE DOLT,” she screeched through the resounding racket of gunshots. Vallory rolled her eyes and turned back to Rei. Suddenly, she froze.

The sound of a revving engine, although faint at first, was rapidly approaching. A tiny Psycho on a rusty motorcycle burst over the peak of a nearby dune and plowed through the scene, forcing them to scatter, thankfully missing Jack and Rhys’ bound forms lying in the sand. 

“GUN FIGHT! GUN FIGHT! PLAYTIME!”, shrieked a little Psycho, screeching to a halt in a cloud of sand. His manic, bloodshot eyes locked onto to Rei’s face and he abruptly fell silent, mouth hanging open. “COOOYOOOOTEEEEEEE!!” he howled gleefully, hurling himself off the bike and making a bee-line for her. “SELL! SELL! GIMME ALL YOUR PURPLE!” he crowed, throwing himself at her feet.

Rei looked over at Vallory, smirking. “Well what do ya know? Looks like my products are still top-shelf. You must be real tired of that irradiated drain cleaner Val calls E-Speed, huh buddy? You miss the good stuff, little guy?” she cooed darkly. The Psycho whimpered softly and clawed at her leg.

“I can’t believe they still call you that. _” Coyote.”_ Like you’re some kind of Truxican gang banger. Gimme a break.” huffed Lilith, looking disgusted. 

“I’m sorry, what was that, _Fire Hawk_?” sneered Rei.

“Ma, is he one of yours? Should I shoot him? HEY, MA!” yelled August, clutching his arm and looking lost.

“How the hell am I supposed to know? All those little shits look the same,” said Vallory gruffly. “Dear, why don’t you come to mama and I’ll give you something nice, ok?” she cooed to the Psycho. 

The little bandit ignored her and began digging around in his pockets, producing bottle caps, a few dollars, three human teeth, and a half eaten hotdog. He held out his “payment” to Rei. 

“Purple nose candy…please? Candy? CANDY, NOW!!”

“I’ll tell you what, little guy,” said Rei, kneeling down and fumbling inside her shirt. She pulled out her trusty baggy of Eridium extract and waved it in front of the Pyscho’s face. “I’ll give you this for free if you call your friends…and get rid of her,” she said, jerking her head to towards Vallory and flashing her a sickeningly sweet smile. Jack cackled into the sand where he still lay, earning himself a jab in ribs from Axton.

Needing no other encouragement, the Psycho got to his feet, tilted his head skyward, and screamed as loud as his little lungs allowed. 

“BLOOOOOD FUEEEEEEDDD!!! SMASH THE BABIES! SMASH THE LADY!!” he howled, pulling his rifle from his back and firing into the distance. 

A low rumble began to shift the sand around Rei’s feet, a devilish grin spreading across her face as a bandit technical roared into view, two Psychos on motorcycles trailing behind. She had been right; as always, where there was one Psycho, ten more were undoubtedly hiding nearby, like cockroaches in a sewer pipe.

“Well, shit, would ya look at that…” said Brick, letting out a low whistle.

“That’s right, Bricky-boy. And for my next trick,” said Rei with a mischievous grin, “I’ll make Val disappear… BOYS! First one to rip Vallory’s heart out and bring it to me gets every bit of E-Speed I’ve got!

A chorus of howls erupted from the little posse of bandits as they scrambled out of their technical and swarmed around Vallory, brandishing buzz axes and various makeshift firearms. August, now shirtless, as he had used it as a tourniquet for his arm, hurled himself between the bandits and his mother.

“ _Get out of the way, you idiot!_ ” snarled Vallory, giving him a shove.

“Ma, I’m not gonna let them- JESUS, SHIT!” One of the Psychos had swung his buzz axe, sinking the blade into August’s leg. August turned and fired on him point blank, killing the tiny ruffian before he even hit the ground in a pool of his own blood and brain matter. A heavy silence filled the air. Then a slow, steady chant began, quietly at first, but steadily growing louder as other bandits materialized from their hiding spots among the dunes.

_”Kill…kill…kill… Kill! Kill! KIIIIILLLLL!!!”_

Rei took a few slow steps back, away from the crowd advancing on Vallory and August, grinning wickedly in their direction.

“Looks that was a mistake, now, wasn’t it?” she laughed, eyes darting to her peripherals, mapping out the distance between her, Jack, and Rhys.

“Darlings, let mama make it better, ok? You want speed? I’ve got speed, I’ve got the best-“ Vallory began to say to the mob bristling at her feet, unable to disguise the panic in her voice.

Rei aimed her pistol at Vallory’s feet and pulled the trigger, abruptly ending the gang lord’s speech, the crack of enemy gunfire whipping the bandits into a flurry of chaos. They surged forward, knocking Vallory and August to the ground, swinging blades and shooting off bullets with little care as to who or what they hit. Axton and Lilith sprinted forward, leaving Brick looking uneasily at Rhys who was beginning to stir, still weak and defenseless at his feet. He bent down and swiftly cut the ropes around his ankles and wrists, briefly making eye contact with Rei, before bolting off the join the scuffle. 

She rushed over to Jack, freeing him of his own bonds, and helping him to his knees. She took his face between her hands and looking him over intensely.

“You good, space cowboy?” she asked, letting him grip her shoulder to brace himself as he stood shakily.

“Never better,” he grunted, wiping blood from the corner of his mouth. “So what’s the plan?”

“Ummm…” Rei glanced around wildly. She hadn’t come prepared with a plan so much as a single intention; survive. 

She tried to drown out the clamor of gunfire and Vallory’s shrieking, flipping through a mental catalogue of her previously successful escapes. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed the harsh, desert sun glinting off an abandoned bandit motorcycle a few feet away, as if to say, “here you go, dummy.” Jack followed her gaze, his face lighting up.

“YES! Let’s do this, cupcake!” he crowed, jogging over to the bike with a slight limp, and throwing his leg over.

“HEY! OH NO YOU FUCKING DON’T!” roared Lilith, breaking apart from the seething mob and pointing her sawed off shot gun in their direction. She began sprinting towards them.

“J, you sure you’re good to- ah, fuck it!” said Rei as a bullet whizzed past her ear. She leapt onto the bike behind Jack and he hit the ignition, swerving as Lilith sent a spray of buckshot in their direction, and speeding towards Rhy’s hunched figure, now sitting upright in the sand.

“GRAB HIM!” Jack shouted over his shoulder, veering the bike into a sharp turn, tipping it dangerously towards Rhys as he passed, another flurry of bullets peppering the ground a few feet away.

Rei clung desperately to Jack, one arm anchored around his waist, the other stretched toward Rhys’ dazed form. _“Just a little farther…come on…don’t fall…OH HOLY SHIT-“_ she thought frantically, fingertips outstretched, muscles aching with exertion. She caught Rhys’ extended arm with her own, jerking him into the air behind the bike. He wailed at the pain of being towed along with the speeding vehicle by a single limb.

“JACK, HELP ME!” she cried.

He threw an arm out behind him, catching the front Rhys’ shirt, and together they dragged him over the bike.

“Thank god you’re a fucking string bean, or that could have gone a lot worse,” she muttered in Rhys’ ear, situating him between herself and Jack, wrapping his lanky limbs around the older man’s broad torso and covering them with her own. 

Rhys mumbled something that was almost unintelligible, save for the words, _“Shut up.”_

A large engine roared to life behind them and Rei turned to see Lilith commandeering August’s jeep in the distance, speeding toward them with a sneer on her lips and fire in her eyes. 

“What are we supposed to do now? How the hell are we going to get past them?” she yelled over the blasts of gunfire and howling bandits. 

“Can you swim, babe?” Jack shouted over his shoulder.

“What?! Jack, what the fuck are you doing??” she yelled, noticing the edge of the unassuming cliff she had been eyeing earlier drawing closer and closer. 

“I said, CAN YOU FUCKING SWIM??” he repeated, his tone tinged with a snap of his usual impatience. It was somehow comforting to her, but the looming threat of imminent death still remained. Jack reached down and grabbed her hand, pressing it tightly to his chest.

“Yes, I can fucking swim!! But that drop is going to knock the shit out of us, we’ll drown anyway! Jack, please don’t do this… come on, man, stop!!” she pleaded, frantically trying to jerk his arms to steer away from the precipice. She shot a glance over her shoulder at Lilith, who was rapidly gaining on them. There was where to turn, no way to go back.

“Maybe, maybe not. Keep a tight grip on Rhys and let go of the bike when I tell you, alright? And in case we don’t make it, I…” They were inches from the edge of the cliff and Rei could feel Jack’s racing pulse in his wrist as she tried to pry her hand free of his.

_”JACK!! NO!!”_

“I love you…” 

Jack careened over edge, dragging a screaming Rei and a wailing Rhys down with him into the murky depths below.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was FREAKISHLY hard to write. Not sure why, I guess I was consumed with MOVING INTO MY OWN PLACE Y'ALLLL :D.
> 
> Anyways, it probably still needs a lot of work, so do me a favor and let me know how you think it turned out. Not so sure about my ability to write action scenes, yet. Thanks, my pumpkins<3


	20. Revelations, Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Hemmingway Saturday again, and y'all know what that means! Yup. Almostjack presents a new chapter of SDSC, barely revised, no beta (I've never had a beta, though, is that an issue?). Come at me, guys. I embrace your criticism with open arms and an open bottle of vodka.

Jack broke the surface of the icy water, head whipping around frantically in search of Rei. He had managed to hang on to Rhys by the back of his shirt, and was barely able hold the kid’s face above the surface of the choppy water.

“WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU??” came an aggravated cry from the river bank. Rei paced the rocky edge of the water, looking panicked. Jack sighed in relief, dragging himself and Rhys towards her.

“Jesus, I thought you two fucking drowned. You ok?” asked Rei wearily.

“Yeah, just peachy, kitten,” grumbled Jack, collapsing onto the gravelly beach next to her and slicking back his dripping, disheveled hair with a shaky hand.

“Oh… oh my god…My fucking…head…” mumbled Rhys, curling into a ball at Jack’s feet.

“I know, hun, I’ve got something for you. Hopefully it didn’t get wet,” comforted Rei, peeling off her soaked backpack. “You know, Jack, I thought Hyperion brand Echoes were supposed to be _waterproof_ ,” she griped, rifling through the soggy contents of her bag and tossing her waterlogged, sparking Echo on the ground next to him. 

“Sure, up to a point. Not gonna make them indestructible, what kind of business model is that? Gotta keep those dummies coming back for more.”

Rei gave him an icy stare. “Great. Well your _”business model”_ just royally fucked us… And now we’re stranded.”

Rhys moaned loudly, jolting Rei’s attention back to the anguished man beside her.

“Ok, ok, hang on…” she mumbled, resuming the search inside her bag. She finally found what she was looking for, pulling out a bottle of nondescript, white pills.

“What’s that?” rasped Rhys, trying to prop himself up on his elbows.

“A hefty dose of opioids, buddy, you’re gonna love it. If you remember any of it, that is,” she said, handing him a few tablets. He examined them with unfocused eyes before popping them into his mouth.

“Really? That’s what you’re going with _for a concussion_?” asked Jack skeptically. 

“It’s that or a very high dose of acetaminophen, and lemme tell ya, he’s not going to make it very far sober. Judging by the bruising and swelling, he has a facial fracture that I can’t do shit about. Not without rearranging that pretty face of his, anyway.”

“I thought you weren’t that kind of doctor.”

“And you’re not a doctor at all, so piss off.”

“Actually, I do have a PhD in _get the fuck up, Rhys_ ,” said Jack gruffly, looping his arms under Rhys’s armpits and hoisting him to his feet. Rhys groaned, swaying unsteadily in an attempt to stay upright, but ultimately dropped to his knees, head hanging low.

“Leave him alone for a few minutes, would ya? The drugs haven’t even kicked in yet,” scolded Rei.

Jack grunted in reply, but said nothing more about it. He settled instead for pulling off his sodden layers and dropping all but his sweater on the ground. He twisted the worn yellow shirt between his hands, wringing it out with enough force that one might think it had done him wrong. Jack tucked it into the back of his jeans while Rei’s eyes roamed over the chiseled, rugged form of his bare arms and torso appreciatively. Jack folded his arms over his chest and glared angrily at the water.

“What happened to the two guns of mine you had slung over your back?” he asked irritably.

“They’re at the bottom of the river somewhere, I expect.”

“Great. Glad you raided my weapon cache just to lose my _expensive_ fucking guns. So what exactly was your plan for rescuing us? Because it worked out _so very well_ ,” he said venomously.

“‘Scuse me? _My_ plan? What the fuck was your plan, killer?”

“Well I wasn’t trying to fight the Crimson Raiders, Vallory, and her gang singled handedly, I can tell ya that much, cupcake,” he spat.

“Neither was I.”

“Sorry, pumpkin but did I miss something? I only see _one_ of you, here.”

“Skag whistle,” she said shortly, fingering the oblong, silver tube hanging from her neck.

“So you were going to summon a bunch of skags and convince them not to eat you….how, precisely?”

“Well, that’s why I was only going to use it as a last resort.”

“You could have borrowed some Digi-Struct tech from Timmy, you know?”

“Are you joking? I wasn’t about to leave that poor kid defenseless.”

“He’s not as helpless as you think.”

“Whatever. Not like your Digi-Structor would have survived the plunge, anyway.”

Jack shrugged in annoyance and began to pace the river bank.

“So… do either of you still have your Echoes?” she asked after a few moments of silence, already knowing the answer.

“What do you think, kitten?” growled Jack, picking up a pebble and flinging it into the stream. The rock flew clear across the water, striking a tree on the opposite bank like a bullet.

“Right. So what do you suggest we do, then? Walk around Pandora until we find a Hyperion work site?”

“Yeah, yeah, very cute. I’ve got a place nearby where we can lay low until I can get one of my morons on Helios to send a shuttle.”

“Ok, so where are we headed?”

Jack sighed. “Just follow me. You ok to walk, Rhysie?”

“Muh name izz _Rhyzzz_ ” he slurred with a pout. He tried to stand, scrabbling around on the rocky ground until Jack stooped down in front of him, sighing once again. 

“Hop on, pumpkin,” he said resignedly.

“Ooh, fun!” giggled Rhys. Even in his addled state, the irony of the king of Hyperion kneeling at his feet, offering to carry him across the wasteland, wasn’t lost on him. 

“You…you my Handsome Jackazzz, now! Giddyup!” he crowed, clambering uncoordinatedly onto Jack’s back. Rei broke into a fit of laughter. 

“I hate to say it, but concussed Rhys is a lot of fun,” she mused.

“Shut up, kitten,” said Jack, striding down the river bank, forcing her to scramble to catch up.

“Make me. Don’t you want the rest of your shirts?” she asked, eyeing the pile abandoned on the ground behind them. 

“I’ve got plenty. I could buy a thousand more if I wanted.”

“But you’re keeping the crappy old sweater, eh?”

“Yeah, I really like my sweater. Hell, I might like _it_ more than I like _you_ ,” he taunted.

She snorted and clasped her hands over her heart. _“In case we don’t make it, I looove you!”_ she mocked in a high-pitched, breathy voice.

Jack stopped dead in his tracks and stiffened, neck tensing and shoulders going rigid. He was silent for an uncomfortably long time, forcing Rei to dwell on whether or not she had gone too far. He wasn’t made of stone, after all.

“Well, do you, kitten?” he asked finally, his voice low and dangerous.

“Do I what?” she asked nervously.

“Love me,” he said, staring blankly into the distance.

“Oh... I, uh…. Yeah. I do. Course I do,” she mumbled, blushing furiously.

He turned to face her and took a step forward, crowding into her space until her chest was against his stomach, her head craning up to look at him. His beautifully mismatched eyes bore into hers, dark and stormy and inscrutable.

“Say it, kitten. I want to hear the words come out of your mouth,” he growled.

“I love you, Jack,” she whispered, brow furrowed with worry at his erratic behavior. 

Yet, as suddenly as the storm had appeared, it seemed to pass. He bent down and kissed her gently, the unsettling, coppery taste of blood on his lips contrasting oddly with the sweetness of the gesture. He pressed his forehead to hers with a contented sigh, acting much the way he had on the anniversary of his wife’s death; unusually affectionate and endearingly possessive in a way only Jack was capable of. He pulled back to look her in the eye once more, the darkness slowly returning.

“So the next time I say it to you, I goddamn expect to hear it back,” he hissed, straightening up and marching off.

Rei stood motionless, watching him stalk off in amazement.

“One of these days, you’re going to give me fuckin’ whiplash, you psycho,” Rei muttered, shaking her head slowly.

\----  
They arrived outside a nondescript building about an hour later. Jack lead the group inside to an elevator equipped with an AI interface and a Hyperion logo branded into the floor. Jack knelt outside the elevator and carefully slid Rhys off his back, setting the groggy man down next to the wall. Rhys slumped back, eyes fluttering closed.

Jack stepped inside the tiny metal room, but motioned for Rei to wait outside.

“Preparing bio-scan. Please stand on the Hyperion emblem,” said a pleasant, automated female voice. The device passed a beam of light over him a few times, then continued speaking.

“Bio-signature confirmed. Hello, sexy. Awaiting password.”

“Oh…my…god. You’re ridiculous,” snickered Rei.

Jack shot her a look over his shoulder. “I love you,” he muttered to the machine. 

Rei’s eyebrows shot up; that was the second time in a single day she had heard him say the phrase he had never uttered in her presence before. It seemed like an _extremely_ odd password for Jack to choose. 

“Access granted,” said the AI. The doors slid open, revealing another tiny room with a circular platform in the center.

Jack went back to Rhys, and, finding him fast asleep, picked him up bridal style and carried him to the platform in the adjoining room, Rei in tow. Jack hit a green button and the platform descended into yet another tiny metal room, with yet another green button on a raised podium. He slowly turned to face Rei, appearing nervous.

“Kitten… I’m going to introduce you to someone. Someone very important to me. And there are a few things that you should know, first…”

Rei raised an eyebrow at him. More secrets. Or maybe the same ones resurfacing again. Who the hell knew with him.

“Are these, perhaps, things that the Crimson Raiders have been trying to tell me for _months_?” she said spitefully.

“Probably. Yes.”

“Ok. So spill it.”

“I have a daughter.”

“Huh, well that’s a little surprising but… so do lots of people. My own father, in fact.”

“Smartass,” he grumbled, eyes narrowing.

“I don’t see why you having a kid is such a dire secret. Seems like a lot of effort for nothing, J.”

He exhaled heavily, clearly agitated. “My daughter is a siren.”

Rei stared at him in stunned silence for a moment, mouth slightly agape, before recovering her cool. 

“Well… Shit. Wow. Goddamn. And, uh…congratulations? I still don’t see the problem, here. That seems kind of awesome, actually.”

“It is… Which is why I’ve been tinkering with some of your biotech and borrowed the Eridium formulation you’ve been working on… to test on her.”

Rei sucked in her breath sharply, shoulders tensing.

_“You didn’t.”_

“Sorry, kitten. I didn’t tell you because I knew you’d-“

“You could kill her, Jack! I told you my Electro-Eridium array wasn’t safe for humans!”

“She’s not human. She’s a Siren,” he said flatly.

“Until proven otherwise, Sirens are still human, despite their mutations. You’re playing with fucking fire and you need to stop before you get burned. Seriously, I want all my tech and Eridium taken back to Helios with us. For fuck’s sake, that poor kid!”

“I don’t take orders from you, cupcake, this isn’t your lab,” he hissed at her. “I know what I’m doing and I’m well aware how hard it is on her, but it’s going to be worth it in the end. She’s a tough kid and she can take it.”

Rei glared at him. Jack was right; this wasn’t her lab. She had no power here, unless she planned on fighting him for it. Not that she could or wanted to, of course. 

“And what makes this _“all worth it”_?” she spat, hands on her hips.

“Opening the vault, dum-dum. If I could just make Angel powerful enough to charge a key, or even… Even be able to charge a key myself, we’d have the entire world in the palm of our hand.”

 _”You_ would have the entire world in the palm of _your_ hand. Don’t pretend like this is for both of us. Fuck, I don’t even know what’s in the vault, do you? Do you have any idea what you’re risking your daughter’s life for?”

Jack studied her face silently for a few moments, as if debating what his answer should be.

“The Warrior.”

“I’m sorry, _what?_ ” she asked in disbelief.

Rei couldn’t believe her ears. A grown man had just admitted to chasing what was widely regarded, with the exception of conspiracy theorists, as a Pandoran myth. The almighty Warrior was nothing more than an urban legend that parents would use to discipline misbehaving children. _“Quiet down, or you’ll wake the Warrior and it’ll eat your toes!”_ or _“The Warrior likes to kidnap children who don’t bathe; the smell makes them easier to find!”_ were just a couple gems she could remember from her own childhood.

“Uh-huh. I didn’t know you were part of the tinfoil hat brigade, J,” sneered Rei.

“Laugh all you want kitten, I have proof.”

“Do you, now?”

“Yes. But now is not the time, nor the place, to get into it. We need to get off this planet, pronto.”

“Sure, sure. You’ll tell me all about it later, right?”

“Only if I don’t make you choke to death on my dick for that shitty attitude, first, kitten,” he growled, Rei’s taunting pushing his temper further and further towards its breaking point. Rei recognized the warning signs and took a step back.

“Well you’re making a huge mistake with your daughter, and I want no part of it.”

Jack took a few deep breaths, trying to soothe himself.

“Yeah… about that, kiddo… I might have dropped your name a few times.”

Rei screwed her eyes shut, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“What did you tell her?”

“That we’re doing these experiments for you.”

“And probably some other, much more inflammatory lies, eh?”

“Well, she’s not thrilled with you, let’s just put it that way. Just watch your back, she gets kind of zappy with the power grid when she’s pissed.”

“God damn it, Jack. Just…god fucking damn it. If you weren’t my only way off this planet, I’d be gone so fast your head would spin,” snarled Rei.

“And that’s just what the Crimson assholes were counting on. You wanna make things easier for them, pumpkin? Let them turn you against me? Go right ahead. See where that gets you,” he said stubbornly. 

“Let’s just get this over with, you fuckin’ snake. I hope you enjoy a loooong dry spell because you’re not getting laid for the next six months, I swear.”

“What do you think I keep Rhysie around for?” he asked, grinning coyly down at her.

 _”You dick,”_ came the mumbled retort of the limp man in his arms, before he pressed his face into Jack’s chest and returned to his drug-induced slumber.

“That's right, pumpkin, _my_ dick,” replied Jack, grinning lecherously. 

Jack turned back to the podium and hit the button, a cavernous bunker materializing around them. Oversized monitors lined the walls, and in the center of the room stood a giant dome-like shield, sandwiched between two enormous pieces of machinery. 

A ghostly pale, rail thin, dark haired young woman in a metal-plated, black and yellow jumpsuit floated within the orb. Huge, downy, white wings extended from her back, and luminescent blue tattoos adorned her chest and right arm.

Rei looked on in amazement. Most people never encountered a single siren in their lifetime; she now knew two. And, much to her chagrin, both hated her with a passion.


	21. Revelations, Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Generally, I have zero interest in writing or reading about Angel, but then this chapter happened and I have no idea who I am anymore. Hmm.

Jack laid Rhys down in a corner, looking at him with something akin to pity as the young man curled into a ball and moaned softly in his sleep. He sighed heavily, then turned and strode over to his daughter.

“Angel, baby! Happy to see me?” Jack crowed, placing a hand on the outside of the enclosure.

“Why the hell did you bring that _asshole_ here?” snapped Angel, floating down to be eye level with her father, arms folded tightly across her narrow chest. 

“ _Language,_ ” he hissed, scowling at her.

It was painfully hypocritical, Rei noted, given Jack’s own perpetually filthy mouth. She would have chuckled to herself, had Angel not been glaring at her with an intensity that made her blood run cold. _Like father, like daughter_ , she thought, stepping behind Jack and peering around his shoulder uneasily.

“You two ladies are going to make friends and play nice, alright? Apologize to Rei, baby. She’s not here to hurt you.”

Angel slammed her open palm on the surface of shield in front of her father’s face.

“Does _this_ look like it doesn’t hurt, Dad?” she asked angrily, displaying a healing, yet severely burned palm. The edges of the burn appeared to be a deep blue, similar to her tattoos. 

“Honey, I’m sorry about that. I miscalculated the voltage, Daddy made a mistake. It won’t happen again.”

“Yes, it will. This machine doesn’t work properly. Your _girlfriend_ designed a glorified torture device,” she snapped, almost spitting the word “girlfriend”. “Dad, unhook me. Please. We can find another way.”

“I need you to be brave and hang in there just a little longer, ok, baby? Rei will fix it, don’t you worry. Now calm down, baby, Daddy needs your help.”

Angel pouted angrily, but relented. “You do look worse for the wear. Are you alright? What can I do?”

“Call up Timmy, I need him to send a shuttle. We have to get off this planet before someone deals me some real damage.”

“Of course. Do you want me to bring him up on the monitors, or would you prefer to use my Echo?”

“Get ‘em on the screens, I love seeing my face on 90 feet of plasma.”

“Yes, sir.”

The sound of static, then an echoing chime filled the room. Timothy appeared on the monitors, looking distraught.

“Jack?? JACK!! Sweet fucking Jesus, you’re alive. All three of you are! I…I think I’m gonna cry…” he said, hyperventilating slightly.

“TimTam. We talked about this. What’s my number one rule?”

“Don’t be a pussy,” sighed Timothy.

“That’s right, Timmers. I need you to call us a shuttle back to Helios ASAP. The deal went sour and now I’ve got half of Pandora after me.”

“Sure thing, I’ll send one right over to… Damn. I can’t seem to get a read on your coordinates. Are you in the bunker? You know I can’t ping your location while you’re down there.”

“Fine, fine, I’ll go outside. But if I get shot out there, it’s on you, Timmy.”

“The Core Control is that way by design, Jack. _Your design_ ,” said Timothy wearily.

“Don’t sass me, sweet cheeks. Not in the mood. Angel, transfer Timmy over to your Echo so I can take this idiot outside.”

“Yes, sir. Executing phase-shift.”

Timothy’s face vanished from the screens and an Echo materialized in front of Jack.

“Alright, you cretin, this shuttle better come faster than a Hodunk fucking his sister,” said Jack, grabbing the Echo and stomping out of the room.

Rei was left standing in the shadows, uncertain if she should follow him.

“Come closer. I want to talk to you,” said Angel, suddenly calm, watching her father’s back disappear beyond the door.

“You, uh… you promise not to electrocute me?” Rei asked nervously.

Much to her surprise, Angel laughed.

“Is that what Jack said I’d do? No, I won’t electrocute you. I think he’s the only person I’ve ever done that to.”

“Knowing him, he probably earned it,” said Rei with a weak smile, approaching the shield.

“He’s been earning it a lot, lately.” 

Rei looked at her boots uncomfortably. This torture chamber was Jack’s doing, but the science behind it was hers. She thought guiltily of all the times she had unwittingly encouraged him to read her reports and improve upon the technical aspects of her project. He had obviously gone and done just that, in the worst way possible.

“I, uh… I’m sorry. I never intended him to use my research like this. I didn’t know what he was up to.”

“Don’t apologize for my dad. It’s not your fault. It’s not even entirely your tech, the Eridium injectors were his idea from the start,” said Angel, gesturing to the contraption hanging above her head. Rei noticed two hollow tubes, capped with needles, and two wires, tipped with metal prongs, hanging ominously down into her enclosure. 

“Are you in a lot of pain?”

“Actually…no. No more than usual, anyway. I’m just hoping that eventually his conscience will get to him and he’ll dismantle the damn thing.”

Rei let out a bitter bark of a laugh. “I think we both know that Jack doesn’t have much of a conscience, especially if he’s getting results.”

“Which is why he won’t be getting any, no matter how high he cranks that stupid generator,” said Angel stubbornly.

“What, are you holding out on him?” asked Rei, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m not going to give him what he wants. And you shouldn’t either. No one should.”

“Why? What’s the harm in letting him open the vault to find-“ Rei laughed in earnest this time- “his magical, pretend vault monster. Or lack there of.”

“The Warrior is real.”

“Oh no, not you too…”

“This isn’t another one of Jack’s delusions. The Warrior is very real and very dangerous. And it knows Jack’s searching for it.”

“How could you possibly know that?”

“All Sirens are connected to the vaults and what lies within. I can feel the monster stirring; the energy of Pandora is changing. Sometimes I can see the Warrior in my dreams. So can Jack. It speaks to him.”

“It…speaks to him?” asked Rei, torn between skepticism and amazement.

“Did you know that my Siren powers are from _Jack’s_ side of the family?” Angel asked suddenly.

“Uh…no…so does that mean he carries a Siren gene? Is that even thing?”

Rei’s research had never conclusively proven if Siren powers were hereditary, only that the body of the host must contain the right combination of elemental properties to activate them. They must be “uniquely susceptible to natural phenomena,” a term she coined in reference to the curious state of the Siren physiology. 

“It means he’s also connected to the vaults. Being male, his connection was always tenuous, barely noticeable, until he was marked at the vault of the Sentinel. Now he hears other vault keepers calling out to him in his dreams, telling him of the unimaginable power he could gain by releasing them upon the world.”

Rei recalled plenty of sleepless nights between the two of them, Rei either battling her own insomnia or awoken by Jack’s. Her demons haunted her in the waking world, swirling around in the form of haphazardly buried memories, perpetually rearing their ugly heads when it was time to lay her own down to sleep. But Jack’s agony seemed to be sparked by recurrent nightmares, causing him to toss and turn, lash out, moan, mutter, and, eventually, jolt him awake. Rei never could have fathomed that only moments before she found him panting and sweating next to her, dragging her close and sheepishly asking for a cup of tea, that he had been talking to an ancient, omnipotent vault monster. 

“So… just another insane thing he’s keeping from me. You, how he’s been using my experiments on you, the Warrior, and now the fact that Warrior is a nightly guest in his head. Why does everything need to be a secret?”

“You’re a threat to him,” Angel said simply.

“Excuse me?” asked Rei incredulously. “How so?”

“Everyone is a threat to Jack. Especially people he can’t kill. Those are the only people he fears. Just you and me, essentially.”

“I don’t know about you, but he could _absolutely_ kill me. He’s gotten pretty damn close without even trying.”

“I’m not saying he’s incapable, just that he isn’t willing. He keeps things from you so he never has to face that decision.”

“Well I’d never do anything that would force him to.”

“Even if it meant saving him from himself?”

“I…What are you getting at, here?”

“I know where to find a vault key,” breathed Angel, her piercing blue eyes transfixed on Rei’s face.

Rei screwed her eyes shut and pressed two fingers to her forehead, trying to massage away the impending stress headache.

“If you’re not planning on telling Jack, don’t tell me. I’m serious, I don’t want to-“

“Patricia Tannis has it.”

“FUCK. You’re a bad listener.”

“You need to destroy it.”

“Oh, honey. Even if I knew who that was or where to find her, the answer would still be no. Fuck no.”

“She’s a tenured professor of Ancient Eridian Studies at Deleon University. That’s _your_ alma mater, isn’t it?”

Rei snorted. “So you’d like me to…what? Shoot her a message on Spacebook? _“Dear Professor Tannis, please give me your priceless vault key so I can blow it up.”_ Something like that, huh?”

“If you think that would work,” quipped Angel, unamused. 

“I have literally no idea what would work. I don’t know why you’re tasking me with this.”

Angel bit her lip, looking sheepish.

“You’re not the first person I’ve asked for help. This isn’t ideal, to be honest, but I’m out of options. I’ve tried contacting Tannis directly, but she knows who I am and won’t speak with me. The Crimson Raiders want to use the Warrior to kill Jack, and the unaffiliated vault hunters roaming the galaxy would rather die than destroy a vault key. Even Jack’s own vault hunters could be turned against him, for the right price. You’re the only one who has a reason to prevent the vault from ever being opened.”

Rei sighed heavily. Angel was right. It’s not like Jack’s pool of friends and allies ran particularly deep, unless she counted the six feet of dirt that most of them were under. 

“I really, _really_ doubt Tannis will ever part with that key, but…I guess I’ll give it a shot because I desperately want the damn thing, too. I’ll need collateral, though.”

“Fair point. What do you think she might want?”

Rei could think of a few things, the only comparable one being Angel herself, but perhaps it would be best to start smaller. 

“Can I take a blood sample?”

“Uh…I guess so. _Executing phase-shift_.”

The room became a void of white, crackling static before Rei’s eyes, and she felt as though the very particles of her body were drifting apart, as if her form was transforming into something less dense, drifting away like smoke. The sensation was pleasant; almost like floating just beneath the surface of a warm bath. As suddenly as the feeling began, it was gone, leaving Rei feeling heavy and solid. She looked around, realizing hat she was no longer on the outside of Angel’s shield, but inside of it. 

“Neat,” said Rei with a grin, sliding her bag off her shoulders. She rummaged around in search of anything she could use a makeshift specimen container. Upon finding nothing, she sighed and slid her flask from the knife holster on her arm. 

“This’ll have to do. At least it’s sterile, for the most part. Want some?” she asked, unscrewing the cap and holding it out to Angel.

Angel’s eyes lit up, looking wonderingly at the tiny, metal bottle.

“Sure… My dad’s never let me try it before,” she breathed excitedly.

“Oh… how old did you say you were?”

“Old enough,” said Angel defiantly. 

“So underage, then. Good, at least I can give you one normal life experience,” laughed Rei, handing over the flask. 

Angel brought it to her lips, the pungent smell of alcohol making her wrinkle her nose. She took a deep breath, then abruptly tipped the flask back, drinking deeply. Angel sputtered and coughed, clapping a hand to her mouth. Rei howled with laughter, taking the bottle back and taking a swig.

“Good, huh?” she asked amusedly.

“That was…awful.”

“I’ll have to bring you a taste of the good stuff, some day.”

“I’d like that…you’re welcome to come back and visit any time…” said Angel softly, looking at her doe-eyed and hopeful.

Rei felt a twinge of sadness. She knew what it was like to be trapped. At least Angel would never be as helpless as she once was. 

“Ok, now for the less fun part,” she murmured, pulling her knife from her boot and splashing the rest of the booze over the blade. She produced her lighter from her pocket, striking it and running the flame over the edge of the knife a few times.

“Hand,” she ordered, holding out her own. 

Angel offered up a pale, delicate hand, and Rei took it, placing the edge of the blade against Angel’s palm. She carefully slid the blade across the surface of her skin, slicing it like paper. The smell hit her instantly; sweet like honey, with traces of copper. It was so enticing that she was almost taken aback, fighting the urge to dip a finger into the blossoming pool of crimson and taste it. She had smelled this fragrance on Jack before, always assuming it was his cologne, but now she wasn’t so certain. 

Rei held the mouth of the flask to the steady trickle of blood while Angel grimaced slightly. Once satisfied that she had enough to offer Tannis, as well as use for her own devices, Rei replaced the cap on the flask, returning it to her knife holster. Then she pressed her palm to the slit in Angel’s, applying pressure to the wound.

“So once I get back to Helios and get set up with a new Echo, how am I supposed to contact you?” she asked.

“I’ll message you the number to my direct line here. I’ll send you Tannis’ as well, but I doubt she’ll be taking calls from unfamiliar numbers after I tried to reach her. She’s already frightened; tread lightly.” 

“Just once, I’d like to storm in, guns blazing, like your idiot dad,” grumbled Rei.

Angel laughed, but before she could retort, the resounding clang of heavy boots on metal filled the room as Jack entered. Her eyes darted to the door, looking panicked. A sudden burst of electricity erupted where Angel and Rei’s palms touched, shooting up Rei’s arm and knocking her backwards. Rei slammed into Angel’s shield with a forceful thud, cursing as her fingers scrabbled wildly against her chest, a plume of smoke billowing into the air around her. She pulled the baggie of Eridium, now partially melted, from her bra, looking at the faintly purple burn left behind. Rei sported a matching burn on her palm where Angel had shocked her, but the sticky coating of Angel’s blood that had covered it mere seconds ago had vanished.

“REI! Rei, are you alright? Angel, what _fuck_ was that about?” snarled Jack, hurrying over to them. 

“ _Language_ , Dad,” hissed Angel, quickly turning away to hide her apparent confusion. The shock she had dealt Rei shouldn’t have had such a powerful result. She had done worse to Jack with less effect.

“ANGEL! APOLOGIZE!” barked Jack, planting his hands on his hips, his expression stormy.

“Not a chance. Come collect your lackey, I’m sick of looking at her,” she said, phase-shifting Rei into a heap on the floor outside the shield. The kid was a good actor; it must run in the family, Rei noted.

Jack knelt down beside her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and helping her sit up.

“Are you ok?” he asked anxiously.

“I’m… fine?” mumbled Rei uncertainly.

She felt more than fine, actually. The electricity coursing through her veins felt like speed, the sting of her injuries masked by the intense rush of power inside her, every atom of her being vibrating with the newfound energy. It was incredible, different than anything she had ever felt before. She wanted more. 

“You’re in deep shit, kiddo,” warned Jack, glancing over his shoulder at Angel.

“It’s not her fault. I provoked her,” said Rei quickly.

“Did you, now?” asked Jack skeptically.

“Yeah… I told her that her dad has been a bit of a deceptive asshole, lately. And always,” taunted Rei, hoping to distract him. 

“Ah,” he said, abruptly withdrawing the arm supporting her. She fell back on her elbows with thump, wincing at the impact.

“Nice. Thanks. Can we go?”

“Yeah, the shuttle is waiting outside.” Jack got to his feet and strode over to the corner where Rhys lay. “Let me just grab sleeping beauty over here-“

“Shut up. I’m awake,” Rhys griped, sitting up. He sounded hoarse and shaky, but finally sober. Rei felt a wave of anxiety wash over her; how long had he been conscious?

“And yet, I’m still going to have to carry you out of here. So it’s all kind of the same, isn’t it, pumpkin?” grumbled Jack, scooping him up. “Angel, we’ll talk later, ok? I don’t have time for this now.”

“Whatever. Bye, Dad,” huffed Angel.

“Bye, baby girl. I love you,” he said gently. Angel said nothing. “ _I love you, Angel_ ,” Jack repeated forcefully. He sounded angry this time.

“I love you too, Dad,” Angel muttered.

Rei got to her feet, trying to shake a sudden sense of déjà vu.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I write Angel well enough? Again, with the exception of Roland, she's my least favorite to write. I think I may have issues with inherently good characters and omg what does that say about me where is my comfort vodka


End file.
